Why women don't hook up "just for sex"

[Bradly69]

Catching random diseases from random 'hook ups' holds no interest for me. Ive never had a 1 night stand and i very much doubt i ever will

so every chick or old man that you have been with before you did anything you went to the lab and did a complete full top to bottom sexaul disease run which cost about $598 on up .Probably not so you talk out your ass about catching anything beacuse your partner has a good chance of not knowing even if they even have somthing .
But if you dont want a one night stand thats your choice

 

[3664shaken]

>>>Perhaps that's the way you feel with your lovers, and if that's the case then it sounds very healthy.

I think we agree about more than we disagree about. The semantics of love and lust are something we will not agree about – but if I am going to have relationship with someone there is a lot of emotion involved in the sex part, what I do not do is let that carry over into everyday life. I can be wine, dined, brought to a show and have great sex, spend the night with you and make you a fantastic breakfast with lots of gooey stuff that smear on each other, fuck your brains out again and than that’s it. Bye Bye, not permanently, but until next time.

I disagree that "we all get bored after a while." It may be the case that you always get bored after a while, and you are projecting this onto all humans.

You are correct, but I think most (>50%) of the people do get bored. Survey’s have born this out and it could be the fault of them/me.

And things may not get boring if one's partner continually changes things to make it unpredictable. That takes some creativity and imagination.

I agree that you should use creativity but that is not where my boredom lies, it is with having sex with SAME person over and over again. There simply comes a point where I just become disinterested, and then the emotional part goes away and the sex begins to suck.

To put it bluntly the reason I am sleeping with you is for great sex, and I have had great sex with the same guy for 5+ years and I have also gotten bored in 30 days. I find that if I have a couple of good lovers that I rotate I tend to keep interested in the men longer.

I admit it that I am not the norm but it seems to work very well for me and usually very well for them. I also know that there are many men that do not like what I do and this is okay also, we are all different and if we would all be honest with each other relationships would work out much better.

 

[BenWaaaaah]

She nailed it its a challenge for men not so much for women

Yeah - virtually any woman can get laid any time she wants. A girl could be 600 lbs and at 2 AM in a bar she could still get laid. All she would have to do is walk up to a guy and ask them "I'm really horny - mind if I suck your cock, let you fuck me and swallow?" She would find a taker in less than five minutes.

With men, not even close - unless they're gay! Then all bets are off! :biggrin1: My brother-in-law is gay and he tells me that he could get laid every night by a different person...

I think Seinfeld said that men are like firefighters and women are like fires. It takes the right combination of factors for a fire to start. You can have a gallon of gasoline poured out onto a pile of wood, but without a spark, nothing happens. It could take a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a year, or never for that fire to start. But once that fire starts, a firefighter is there in 5 seconds with his hose out ready to take care of it! :tongue:

I think the "slut factor" is there for women and it bothers most of them. But it's all in discretion. I knew a girl in college who slept with lots and lots of guys - most were one night stands. But she wouldn't act slutty, dress slutty or kiss & tell. Everyone thought she was kind of a prude...

But I had four roommates and she slept with all of them. But none knew until a year after. I was dating her best friend so I was off limits. But within six months she bagged them all. And after the cat was out of the bag, we were all sitting around laughing about it and she critiqued them. Turns out one of my roommates is hung like a horse but never bragged and one is barely five inches and always was telling how he was a grower because he looked small...

So then my girlfriend wanted to know if I was bigger. So they drew pictures the two of us and it was a tie. I later told my girl "You shoulda told everyone you needed another sheet of paper!"

 

[BenWaaaaah]

I don't do casual sex but I would hookup with a guy if I new he had a huge dick in advance just for the thrill.

What is "huge" to you because most women have said I'm "big", a couple "huge" and yet one said I was small...

 

[BenWaaaaah]

plenty of women hook up "just for sex" if you have a big cock. not all, but many more who would turn down a normal romp.

I agree. I know one guy I went to high school with that they called "the clock" because when he walked his cock swung like a grandfather clock. He was average-looking and most girls at parties or where ever wouldn't be interested - but inevitably some one would make a comment about it and he would show it anyone. More times than not he would take a girl home because they just wanted to try it out... I'm a grower, so I've really never done that...

Conversely, if I saw an average-looking girl, I would definitely be more interested if I knew she could deep throat. It works both ways...

 

[B_Hung Jon]

3664shaken, I don't agree with your definitions of love and lust, but if they work for you it's fine with me. We may have to agree to disagree, but I value your opinion.

I like the definition of lust as intense or unrestrained sexual craving, and love as an intense emotional attachment. There is a difference between an attachment and a commitment. A commitment sounds like more of a rational decision, whereas an emotional attachment is not driven by our rational mind.

I think someone can love someone else without a commitment. It just means they think of them and feel a connection with them. Perhaps that's the way you feel with your lovers, and if that's the case then it sounds very healthy.

I don't think anyone likes commitment; they'd rather be driven by an emotional attachment to stay together, not by some obligation.


I disagree that "we all get bored after a while." It may be the case that you always get bored after a while, and you are projecting this onto all humans. There are certain foods that I've always enjoyed and I think I will continue to enjoy until I die. I think sex is the same way, and with the right partner it would always be enjoyable.

And things may not get boring if one's partner continually changes things to make it unpredictable. That takes some creativity and imagination.

I've read every post on here, and I think it's not just women who are hard-wired in a certain way but people generally, whether a man or a women. I feel that I'm hard-wired for making love more than "having sex". What I mean by that is it's difficult for me to make love and be sexual and intimate if I don't feel some strong attraction and connection with the girl. I can't kiss a woman deeply and have no emotion connected with it. It's like the kiss stirs more in me that just an erection. There are many other feelings happening......like happiness, excitement, tenderness, and mutual exchange of affection. When I'm kissing and being kissed, it's like it's own harmony. The girl and I respond to each other back and forth, and the love-making takes on the same energy. I guess this is what everyone calls "chemistry", and without it, the sex can be ok, but not beyond our limited and separate selves. That's the special magic for me.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

so every chick or old man that you have been with before you did anything you went to the lab and did a complete full top to bottom sexaul disease run which cost about $598 on up .Probably not so you talk out your ass about catching anything because your partner has a good chance of not knowing even if they even have something .
But if you dont want a one night stand thats your choice

Excuse me asshole but no need to be such a prick. Learn a few manner and a bit of respect before you decide to quote me again.

Thanks
:smile:

 

[BenWaaaaah]

I've read every post on here, and I think it's not just women who are hard-wired in a certain way but people generally, whether a man or a women. I feel that I'm hard-wired for making love more than "having sex". What I mean by that is it's difficult for me to make love and be sexual and intimate if I don't feel some strong attraction and connection with the girl. I can't kiss a woman deeply and have no emotion connected with it. It's like the kiss stirs more in me that just an erection. There are many other feelings happening......like happiness, excitement, tenderness, and mutual exchange of affection. When I'm kissing and being kissed, it's like it's own harmony. The girl and I respond to each other back and forth, and the love-making takes on the same energy. I guess this is what everyone calls "chemistry", and without it, the sex can be ok, but not beyond our limited and separate selves. That's the special magic for me.

I have that wiring too. I met a girl out and after about ten or twenty minutes, the bar was closing so we went to her place. An absolute knock-out - 5' 6" 34D-24-34 tanned an ass you could bounce a quarter off Playboy all the way. Everything was awesome but when we started having sex I just didn't "feel it". She was probably the hottest girl I had ever been with up to that night and she was a great lay, but I just did not have that spark. I stopped and told her, "Nothing against you but I just can't do this." She said, "Are you not attracted to me?" I said, "You are sooooooo hot I can't believe it. But I just can't connect to you" and I left. I ran into her two months later, we actually talked for more than ten minutes and gave it another go. I felt it and it was sooo much better for both of us...

But I think I'm the exception & not the rule. Most of my friends will screw anything and not even remember their name after they're done. If I don't get a really good vibe, it could be Miss America and I probably wouldn't be able to do it... :wink:

 

[Jovial]

Hung Jon and BenWaaaaah, I feel like you also. I guess a lot of people don't want to get into their personal thoughts and feelings too soon. Ironically, they are at first more open to sharing physically than emotionally. A sign of the times maybe, or maybe it's always been this way.

Perhaps people just want to see how good the sex is first before going through the trouble of getting to know one another. If that's true, then I just had a revelation.

 

[Principessa]

Could you explain the details of exactly how you get from the street light to behind the building? Like how does the conversation go?

"Wanna fuck?"
"OK!"

hahaha I wondered the same thing!:biggrin1::tongue:

I have condoms and NO that are not all skanky hoes u fucking duesh bags on this site I just happen to be a hot dude that women want to hook up with quickly ... so every chick or old man that you have been with before you did anything you went to the lab and did a complete full top to bottom sexaul disease run which cost about $598 on up. Probably not so you talk out your ass about catching anything beacuse your partner has a good chance of not knowing even if they even have somthing . But if you dont want a one night stand thats your choice.

It's a good thing there isn't much conversation before copulation; because if you speak as well as you spell you would never get laid. :biggrin1::tongue:

Also, why don't you have a job? More importantly why don't you have a job with insurance? I'm 41 and it has never cost me more than a $10 office visit co-pay to have blood work done for any reason.

Perhaps I am paranoid; but I ask for proof of their last HIV test status. If they have never had one done we hold off on sex and I go with them for the test. You probably think I'm being a prude but I think I am being safe.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Hung Jon and BenWaaaaah, I feel like you also. I guess a lot of people don't want to get into their personal thoughts and feelings too soon. Ironically, they are at first more open to sharing physically than emotionally. A sign of the times maybe, or maybe it's always been this way.

Perhaps people just want to see how good the sex is first before going through the trouble of getting to know one another. If that's true, then I just had a revelation.

The thing about your last statement that's weird is that it seems like "what comes first, the chicken or the egg"? If I'm not attracted to a girl big time, then I'm not going to want to have sex with her. I wonder if I could make out with a girl I'm not hot for? It's never happened to me before. And how could the sex be "good" if you've not into her? Going through the motions seems like a waste of time.

 

[Principessa]

The thing about your last statement that's weird is that it seems like "what comes first, the chicken or the egg"? If I'm not attracted to a girl big time, then I'm not going to want to have sex with her. I wonder if I could make out with a girl I'm not hot for? It's never happened to me before. And how could the sex be "good" if you've not into her? Going through the motions seems like a waste of time.

I think the thing you and Jovial seem to be unaware of, is obvious to the rest of us. You are both men of above average looks and cocks. You would most likely only be approached by women who are at least as good looking as you if not more so.

Also, for many years people assumed that men would fuck anything with a pulse. So for Hung Jon to say he isn't going to have sex with a woman whom he is not attracted to is going to come as a rude awakening to many women. Looks like some of the attractive yet psycho bitches who perpetually shit on nice guys will have to start cultivating a personality. :biggrin1::tongue:

 

[Jovial]

I think the thing you and Jovial seem to be unaware of, is obvious to the rest of us. You are both men of above average looks and cocks. You would most likely only be approached by women who are at least as good looking as you if not more so.

Also, for many years people assumed that men would fuck anything with a pulse. So for Hung Jon to say he isn't going to have sex with a woman whom he is not attracted to is going to come as a rude awakening to many women. Looks like some of the attractive yet psycho bitches who perpetually shit on nice guys will have to start cultivating a personality. :biggrin1::tongue:

njqt, I'm not sure what this means in practical terms when meeting women.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

To answer the original question, when I was younger (late teens ho phase), I hooked up for sex alone, usually with friends or acquaintances. I always used condoms and to this day have no STDs, not even HPV, which is endemic. The only thing that stopped me was I fell in love and he was everything I wanted. Now that I am older and we're no longer together, I wouldn't go back to random hooking up because, other than disease, as much as I hate to admit it, I now like to be romanced and stuff.

Perhaps I am paranoid; but I ask for proof of their last HIV test status. If they have never had one done we hold off on sex and I go with them for the test. You probably think I'm being a prude but I think I am being safe.

Unless you are holding off for three+ months, with STD tests at day 1 and day 90+, and complete celibacy in between, this guarantees little. But, it is good that you are taking a stand on testing. I think far too many people feel they "know" someone after a time or bang them for awhile and then trust they are disease free rather than test.

For me, even in LTRs I use condoms (yes, even for oral early on, but not hand jobs.) and require testing - there have been issues with this in my relationships where some thought I wasn't trusting - but maintaining good, disease free health supersedes everything else.

Also want to add, many communities in the U.S. offer free STD testing. Most vary in what types are free, however, HIV tests are generally always free. Keep in mind, they are usually swab tests without backup testing... I spent years volunteering at an HIV wellness NPO and am kinda a snob about testing. There is no reason not to test and when you get the results back it's like "Ooooooooh, I passed!".

 

[Theo8]

I experienced, women usually hook up for sex. But mostly the girls between 15 and 25. And I guess they hook up much more, than guys.