Why!!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Ed69, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. Ed69

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    She is the woman I have loved,for 16 years now.But the people in my home town call me squaw man!As if that's something bad?

    squaw man: definition, usage and pronunciation - YourDictionary.com

    Why is it so bad that I married an indian girl?

    Sorry for the rant but the insult got slung at me again today.:mad: I just don't get the hateful racial stuff.Why does this have to go on???????????????
     
  2. wldhoney

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    You did nothing bad, it's ignorance and racism. I am half American Indian. The word squaw alone is considered by many Indian nations to be extremely offensive. To some it translates to whore.

    Many couples in inter-racial relationship have to deal with this kind of stupidity.

    I live in Oregon as well. If it were me I would write a letter to the editor of my local paper and if that didn't work, the Oregonian, and give a factual account, naming names, and the Oregonian might print it. Bring the behavior to public notice and shame those who are doing it with political correctness.

    In the meantime I would remove anyone that insults my spouse from my life. Any co-workers would have discrimination complaints filed against them, and if that didn't work I would start contacting FLSA, BOLI, and the EEOC.

    Businesses that I have experienced this at would receive letters all the way to the top, along with the BBB and attorney general.

    I love to screw with people like this.
     
  3. lafever

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    ed69,

    I have lived out west so i understand some but not all of what your going through, maybe this will help. I live in the deep south and i am currently in a interacial relationship, not very many white guys go out with a black women in the south, black men and white women yes, thats very common, but us, no, i get alot of stares from black men as they look at me like whats he got? Thats not always the case though, i get alot of respect too. It just depends on their knowledge of the human spirit, the spirit has no race, just a power that eminates from within. Thats what i see in my girlfriend, i don`t see color, as she gives me the same respect. Now just because we are ok with it, the majority of society isn`t, sometimes i think there should still be dinosaurs running around because the way people act. I have learned over the years that it`s easier to try and understand than it is to be understood. I hope this helps you ed, god bless you, know that god loves you and i do too.:smile: Your in my prayers this morning.


    lafever
     
  4. jason_els

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    Sounds like there's not heart in that hometown. Time to get out of there.
     
  5. Ed69

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    Thank you one and all,I know my love for her is not wrong.I belong to her and she to me.I just wish more could understand this.
     
  6. Love-it

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    If they had love in their lives, like you do, they wouldn't be insecure bastards.
     
  7. YourAvgGuy

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    Ed, people have tendencies to be ignorant (I am being kind here). I am American Indian and Wld Honey articulated it well when she stated that the term squaw is equated to slut/whore in many Native communities. The intolerance and ignorance associated with terminology is disheartening, yet it is something that we have to combat and deal with on regular basis.

    You married this young lady because you love her. It does not matter if she is Native, White, Black, Latina, Asian, or the female version of Barney... if she makes you happy, then you love her and you take care of her. In the meantime, you can help champion the cause to educate the multitude of ignorance that swamps the US. Share you opinions on how the term makes you feel and share what the term squaw really means. If you get no headway, ask your circle of friends/acquaintances if they would like you to start calling their wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters, nieces, etc. whores and sluts (of course, not recommending this unless a last resort). This causes a paradigm shift and makes people start to see things from a more clearer perspective, especially when you make it personal for them.

    Be happy and congratulations! Oh, and btw, Indian women are gorgeous!!!! I've married one myself, too. ;)
     
  8. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'm so white Wonder Bread looks ethnic. Where I live in downstate New York I've had no contact with Indians and nor did anyone I know. Through my elementary, secondary, and even college years, we had NO study of Indian culture. The closest I got was during a revolutionary war class that included the French and Indian and King Philip's wars where we learned something of the Iroqouis Confederacy and that they lived in long houses. Other than a brief blurb about Indians crossing over the frozen Bering Strait, North American history started with English and Spanish colonization. I admit to being woefully undereducated about Indian culture. Even the terminology. I never thought to use the term, "squaw," simply because it sounded archaic to me. Never would I have guessed it meant, "whore." It's the same kind of deal with, "Native American," versus, "Indian." I only discovered recently that many Indians consider, "Native American," to be patronizing. My profound apologies if I'm wrong but therein lies the crux of the matter. Being so isolated from and ignorant of Indian culture, I'm not sure if I am right or not!

    I don't know about that. My experience with racism is that if you told bigots 2+2=4 was discovered by another race they'd shout back 2+2 really equals 5. Anything, but anything to defend their bigotry beyond even the most obvious.

    It appears Indian men are too :wink:
     
  9. YourAvgGuy

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    Hi Jason,

    I am not technologically savvy to break your comments into quotes as you've done mine. Maybe I should learn.

    Anyway, what you have stated is very true of the educational system in the US. I taught public school for 2 years before leaving and going into a different field, only to return to education (albeit, higher education, now). We do have a very rich and vibrant history here but we fail to teach it. Do I blame educators? Yes. Do I blame administators? Yes. Do I blame curriculum specialist? Yes. Do I blame parents? Yes. Do I blame Indians? YES! We all have a part in it. What I have learned as an educator and scholar is that we have a tendency as a nation not to want to deal with truths... things that have happend. It seems that if we neglect it and never mention it that it never happened and then we can erase it from our history. The same is true for foreign countries knowing about our History. This saddens me. What saddens me more, however, is that we, Indians, seem to be immune to it - like it does not exist. Passiveness is not always the best alternative, even though for many of us, this is a way of life.

    The reason I bring this up is because ignorance breeds intolerance which breeds hatred. I dare say, Jason, that you are not completely ignorant (btw, I think we are all ignorant on many things...). You want to learn and you ask appropriate questions concerning things which are unfamiliar to you. This is intelligence - critical thinking skills. It is only when we don't ask questions that ignorance manifest itself into these other realms that sometime drum up anti-sentiments of hatred and supremist attitudes over others.

    As for terminology... again, ask. I use Native, Native American, American Indian or plainly, Indian interchangeably. Now, in the wave of political correctness (which is bullshit when you look at all the factors and agendas behind some things), if you want to truly be correct, then you address a person by his/her tribe. An Indian will gladly tell you what tribal affliation they are from and they might even share some more things with you that you did not ask, i.e., clan, family geneology, etc. - of course, if they feel they can trust you.

    And finally (forgive the length), thank you for the compliment. You are kind. :)
     
  10. B_blogboardbusters

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    I've never heard of "squaw man" before but I've heard kemosabe from that show, I'm not sure if that was ever determined to be offensive.

    I dated a black girl in high school and got my car trashed (not that it wasnt already) and the words "nigger lover" spray painted across the hood (it came off pretty easily). I thought it was strange for that to happen in such a tolerant town.
     
  11. D_Roland_D_Hay

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    Some people can be very very ignorant...
     
  12. lafever

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    When out in public with my girlfriend i`ve had alot of people wisper in close range of us or stare, like it`s not noticeable right? But nobody has ever had the balls to come up to me, bow up, and voice their stupid racial remarks, that shows me how spineless they really are. I think it`s well known that i`d beat the shit out of them, as i live in a small town, people tend to know if you take shit or not.:smile: It takes a coward to vandalize someones home, car, or belongings. So far no ones had the courage to do me that way, i have a minpin that barks at anything and everything that comes in the yard, so i`d catch `em if they tried, and they had better hope the cops get there fast or they`ll be needing an ambulance. I guess what i`m trying to say to you ed is don`t go looking for any fights but don`t take any crap either. LOVE YA ED, hang in there.


    lafever
     
  13. whatireallywant

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    I had no idea that many Indians considered "Native American" to be patronizing! :eek:

    I mainly use the term "Native American" because I'm into folk and world music and I want to distinguish between music by, say, Douglas Spotted Eagle and music by, say, Ravi Shankar! Plus I know a lot of people from India, since I worked in the IT field and there are a lot of people from India here working in IT. So, really I use the term more to avoid confusion than anything.
     
  14. wldhoney

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    This post is wonderful and so accurately portrays much of what is occuring today. Here is some of my experience and beliefs.

    My father is full blooded Sioux and Assiniboine Indian, and grew up on a reservation. I have a famous great-great-great grandfather (I can't quite remember how many greats!) and our family is honored every year in a Pow Wow. I am very proud of my heritage, and we have traditions, stories, customs that keep it alive. I have an Indian name that was given to me thru my Grandmother, who was the Matriarch in my family, thru visions, as do all my siblings. We have a family medicine bag, peace pipe, art and other items that have been passed down from father to son, now currently held by my dad, that museums have requested.

    Sadly, my dad was one of the few of his siblings to make it off of the res. It's hard to explain to those not familiar with it, but it's almost like a separate world. I lived in Alaska for many years, and the tribes there refer to themselves as Native Indians, while it is generally accepted that those in the lower 48 are American Indians. You will often find the two divided on paperwork when stating your race. Alaskan tribes do not see Native American as an insult. Villages are extremely tight knit and remote, and many who leave to go to college or start a life elsewhere commit suicide. They are unable to relate outside of their community.

    My grandmother was one of the children taken from her family as a child, punished for speaking her language, and shipped to a school here in Oregon. She could recall being given blankets infested with small pox, having her hair shaved off, and being told she was a filthy heathen. However, her generation was extremely proud and they came thru it in a way the younger generations today can not seem to.

    Tribes have caused many of their own issues. Years ago when the federal government began paying for the land that was stolen thru illegal and broken contracts and treaties , they gave us a choice in how much of a blood connection allowed someone to be considered Indian. Out of desire for bigger cuts, the Indians agreed to set a limit. Today many marry outside of the tribe, which dilutes the connection, and the numbers of those who are considered Indian are dwindling. Alcoholism, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, meth, among other social issues are all part of the destruction of our culture.

    And, there are many Indians who are themselves very racist. My mother, who is Irish and Swedish, went thru hell with some of my dad's sisters, who did not consider her to be good enough because she was white. I have been chased on the reservation as a child because I did not look Indian. On the flip side, my sister, who has all the features, has experienced prejudism from those who dislike us.

    However, one trait that is inherent wherever I go is pride. Despite everything, American Indians have hung onto their beliefs and culture. Those who grew up on the reservation tend to be reserved and quiet when off it. It's hard to get to know and understand them, which leaves the general public uneducated.
     
  15. wldhoney

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    Went thru twice!
     
  16. Ed69

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    Thanks for clarifying that.I always knew by tone of voice and inflection that it was meant as an insult.But I did not know exactly what the word meant.:wink: My wife if anything is very possesive of our marriage bed and makes it very easy for me to be faithful.

    Thankfully family and friends have never been part of the problem.I hate stereotype's but it always seems to be the pot bellied good ol boys in there jacked up truck that have to yell."Hey sq*** man is she any good in the sack!":mad: I've tried not to let it bother me ,but it always makes my blood boil.
     
  17. SpoiledPrincess

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    People who are haters will always find some reason to hate, they'll use any justification as a reason to hate. If they weren't calling you squawman they'd find some other name to call you or someone else to call names because it isn't the fact that you're married to someone different from them that they hate, it's that they have to find an outlet for their hatred however and whenever they can and you're unfortunate enough to be able to be used as a target by them. Hate can be hard to take but it's the hater who's being poisoned by it not you, take pleasure that you have something they don't have, they'll never be happy because of the bitterness they hold inside.
     
  18. Ed69

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    I never thought of it that way,I always believed there was someone for everyone.That's a painfull thought,going through life alone!Tonight I'll be holding her a bit tighter!
     
  19. YourAvgGuy

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    An excellent post, wldhoney. This has also been my experiences for the most part, too. Regardless of tribal affliations, the perils of depression, exile and isolation remain evident and true amongst most reservations and/or tribal communities. Social-ills mirror themselves across the board. Thank you for sharing this insight. Indeed, people are uneducated because we harbor our thoughts, our experiences and our feelings to ourselves or to those whom we trust.

    Ed, I hear ya! The same intolerance, as wldhoney has shared, is evident I think amongst all groups of people. How we choose to combat it though is another story. Keep the pace my friend.... SpoiledPrincess did give interesting perspective about jealousy... keep that in mind; you have something so many aspire to have!

    Blessings!
     
  20. arktrucker

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    Ed, I grew up in Northern Californina, right in the middle of the Pomo and the Wewutnowhu. The first thing that people DON'T know about the indians of NorCal is they were peaceful, no wars, and partying on the reservation was fun! Well anyway, I heard the word Squaw all my life. It was used generally by both men and women, and I got the sense that it would be as today when the guys get together and refer, although equally offensive, the term bitch or bitches when their talking. What I really can't understand is this going on in Oregon. I thought Oregonians were so progressive in everything that this would've been a thing of the past. I guess not.

     
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