Wife Admited she wanted to Cheat!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_SadWrens18, May 17, 2010.

?

What to do ?

Poll closed May 22, 2010.
  1. Get Rid Of Her,Divorce

    22.9%
  2. Keep Her work it out

    37.1%
  3. See How it goes

    25.7%
  4. Divorce Her and take Kids.

    14.3%
  1. D_SadWrens18

    D_SadWrens18 New Member

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    Hey guys and gals, I just got out of my wife that she has been talking to a guy for couple of months or more. Hes divorced becuase his wife cheated on him. Now I have cheated on my Wife 1 time, and I told her everything, And we worked past it for our two kids.

    Shes been telling this guy she wants to have sex and give him head and thats about as muchas she would tell me. I asked she says shes unhappy, and I asked her why she said to get back at me from 2 and a half years ago. I asked her to stop talking to him since were still married and the kkids are almost 2 and 4 years old. (sorry if spelling bad, Im typing this without her knowing). She said she wants to keep talking to him, since she has no firends. I asked if she gonna keep talking to him about sex and her reply was i dont know.

    What should I do?
    I know I Cheated but we worked past that, I went through all kinds of sex test to make sure i was healthy, and Counselling. (again not best speller,Sorry ) She just says shes un happy but has sex and gives me head and laughes like normal.

    By the way her parents Brainwash her, She listens to them over ME.
     
    #1 D_SadWrens18, May 17, 2010
    Last edited: May 17, 2010
  2. D_Glansthorpe Schmuck

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    Ive read studies on this, sometimes they just need to get it out of their system, and sometimes they are just truly unhappy. Either way it would benefit you both to find out wouldnt it?
     
  3. iluvbigheads

    iluvbigheads New Member

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    ...haha poor ting, what goes around comes around.
     
  4. Tense0000

    Tense0000 Active Member

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    You guys don't love each other. Who you kidding? When one is committed to someone, especially marriage it is because you are one entity and work at it with each other. If you find sex somewhere else and she does too....then there is nothing there. Why bother?
    Staying because the children is not right.
     
  5. nicettech

    nicettech Well-Known Member

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    Yeah being married to someone for any other reason other than being in love with them and being bestfriends with them is destined to fail. I did it for ten years mate, and let me tell you it was a disaster.
     
  6. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

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    There is a big difference between an indiscretion, or openly having some on the side, and wanting out completely of a relationship. Despite what some may say.

    It is also not as simple as because you did, she should, because how you reacted and how she may react are not necessarily going to be the same. And I am not talking about this in a sexual context.

    You need to ask her why she wants to do this. Is it revenge, boredom, a desire for sexual exploration or simply that she really does want to end your relationship?
     
  7. dolph9plus

    dolph9plus New Member

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    Why stay with someone you know is gonna cheat or has cheated.Do you want to be a jail warden,and always saying " where are you ?" " Who were you with ?" "Why arent you home yet ?" And even if you dont say it youre thinking it,everytime they dont come home like they usually do,etc,etc.

    Once the trust is gone,its gone..
     
  8. TroMag

    TroMag New Member

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    'Divorce her and take the kids' is not an option, not in the US. If either of you files for divorce, she will get the kids in any state that doesn't have equal custody. Even under a jurisdiction that presumes equal custody, I'd imagine a woman could easily wrest the kids away if she were so inclined.
     
    #8 TroMag, May 18, 2010
    Last edited: May 18, 2010
  9. TheRob

    Gold Member

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    I used to feel this way but I've actually seen it go the other way
    really tho you two should be able to work out some type of joint custody because neither is saying the other is a bad parrent you just dont seem to want to fuck each other exclusivly
     
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

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    you're a judgemental arse.
    she hasn't cheated, she doesn't need a heap of tests to know whether or not she's indroduced diseases to her spouse.
    you say she doesn't have any friends? that's not normal! of course she's fucking unhappy! she's clearly going to struggle if the only things in her life are you and her parents...and they manipulate her and you betray her! she must feel like her life is walking up a sand dune.
    is she depressed? does she need a therapist? does she need some meds to help her cope? is there a way to help her find a friendship group?

    the answer is, no. no she can't keep talking to him if you hope to work through this. she needs someone else to talk to. if you loive her then you'll help her find them!
     
  11. Gecko4lif

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    Well when you cheat it opens up the box.
     
  12. Libertiny

    Libertiny New Member

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    Monogamy doesn't work, but being open and honest does.
    Maybe you should both think about polyamory(many loves).
    No, it not polygamy (many married).

    Some things to think about...
    -You still love each other?
    -Do you want to break up your family?
    -Do you like seeing your partner happy?
    -If society didn't tell you that jealous is normal, would that make having an non-monogamous marriage so much more easier?

    What ever you want to call it, polyamory, open marriage, or non-monogamy, I'd just read up on it.
    Just something to think about.
     
  13. technopeasant

    technopeasant Member

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    I agree with Gecko4lif, however what you do after depends on what is and how you feel and think. I think the reason she wants to cheat is more important than if she did. Often women cheat because their emotional needs are not being met. It can also be because the husband is just not meeting his duties as a broad category. It has been said that women get married for love and men get married for sex. As long as each is fulfilling their roll all will be well. It is a sad thing that there is no training, from a qualified teacher on rolls in life. Few receive even basic sex facts from parents much less some tips on how a person should conduct themselves. Not talking about incest here just basic understanding. Kids rarely get any instruction on how to meet basic emotional needs of another person either and often their examples are poorly equipped to show them by their roles. In fact most parents these days are examples of dis-function. Hu'm, Is that why 50% if all marriages fail in the first 5 years and 50% of the remarriages again fail in the next 2 years? Most of the time it involves lots of selfishness on both sides. Just an observation.
     
  14. dolfette

    Gold Member

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    open marriage? no! i think that if she really wanted sex with him she would've done it.
    telling her husband about it instead sounds more like a cry for help.

    i mean, the poor woman says she's unhappy and he just dismisses it because she still laughs and sucks his cock.

    she has no friends, over bearing parents and a husband who cheats on her...who the hell could be sane living that life??

    put yourselves in her shoes.

    she talking sex with this guy because that's the only reason he's talking to her, and if she stops stroking her ego then she'll lose the only 'friend' she's got.

    being a cheap fuck for other guys isn't going to help her shitty situation.
     
  15. L_egit

    L_egit Member

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    Gotta agree, I read the Op and immediately thought "oh wow, cry for help".

    She's probably depressed and she clearly needs help. If you can't help her, get a professional in the picture. If she refuses, there's very little you can do besides try to get her involved in activities where she can make friends and hope that her new support web can keep her afloat.

    That said, its up to her to deal with it; she might get hooked on the attention or find whatever she was missing elsewhere and not come back. She might just stay sullen and lash out in different ways too. The best you can do is be there for her and give her support.
     
  16. HiddenLacey

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    I'm going to give you my personal opinion. You hurt her, and even though you say you worked past it, BOTH of you haven't. She obviously feels very hurt by what you've done. I don't think it's about the sex. I think that she can't forgive you and she's not going too. Why should she?

    I'm not sure if she's lonely or depressed or whatever. She's mad at you and hurt.
     
  17. Richard Guzinia

    Richard Guzinia New Member

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    Perhaps if you spent more time focusing on her and less time focusing your camera on your dick!
     
  18. D_Yowton Y Yingyang

    D_Yowton Y Yingyang Account Disabled

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    Somehow the entire post reads like a piece of bad fiction. So what if she doesn't know your typing this, why would that cause you to have bad spelling? Would it be better if she were standing over your shoulder?
     
  19. freyasworld

    freyasworld New Member

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    I don't know your or your girl or even this guy, but surely if she has told you then it is for a reason....

    I don't know if she wants a divorce....have you asked her.
    You say you have two children 4 and 2 obviously at that age they are a handful and more, so is this having and effect on your relationship?
    This other guy, he's free single and pays her compliments, she is flattered by his advances.
    Does she want some fun
    Does she want to feel desired.

    What she hasn't done from reading, is had an affair, has not cheated, deceived or lied to you.
     
  20. Drifterwood

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    Be fair Ladies and Gentlemen, he had one indiscretion and came clean.

    The new guy lost his wife to another guy and now wants to come between this couple and their family. Why not point some venom at him?
     
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