Wife and her ex...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Stacy Rekt, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. D_Stacy Rekt

    D_Stacy Rekt Account Disabled

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    My wife went out on saturday night to have drinks with her ex b/f. I was invited but couldn't go because i had to finish writing a proposal by sunday. believe me i wanted to--she looked incredibly hot!

    she was gone for about 3-4 hours. when she got in a little after 2, i was still up working. she walked right past where i was sitting, went to the bathroom and the first thing she did was brush her teeth. she didn't even take her coat off. then she came back to where i was working and kissed me.

    i didn't question her about it, but does this seem suspicious? Or am i just being paranoid?

    I don't know what to think.
     
  2. blooeyz

    blooeyz New Member

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    don't you trust her?
     
  3. laughinglover

    laughinglover Member

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    I wish I could help you with that. I can't think of what sort of indication brushing her teeth first thing would mean.
     
  4. Honey123

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    Sounds like she had a bad taste in her mouth that she wanted to get rid of before she kissed you. I'd be more likely to think it was a drag on a cigarette or something like that, but honestly.... if it bothers you ASK HER. Communication is a beautiful thing.
     
  5. D_Maureen Biologist

    D_Maureen Biologist Account Disabled

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    I'm a woman. If I had done any oral activity (even just kissing) I would brush my teeth before getting near my hubby...JMHO.
     
  6. Honey123

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    Perhaps he should be glad she didn't take a shower then?
     
  7. D_Stacy Rekt

    D_Stacy Rekt Account Disabled

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    it's tough.

    she cheated before we got married and didn't tell me until she was pregnant with our kid. that still bothers me, but she seemed to be genuinely distressed at having done it.
     
  8. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

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    Ask, and I hope she isn't too offended? I sometimes brush my teeth like that after having drinks (especially). I just like a really clean taste in my mouth, and would definitely brush before giving someone a kiss.
     
  9. polesmoker

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    Ask her. Maybe she had some food in her teeth from dinner. That would bother me and cause me to immediately brush when I got home.
     
  10. AlteredEgo

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    Sometimes when I'm out for a while, all I can think to do is go home, brush my teeth, wash my hands, and pee. Everything else is secondary. Just last night, my cat ran out when I came in, and I let her. I left the door open so she could return, and hit the bathroom for the above trio of activities. By the time my bladder, mouth, and hands were relieved, My cat was home. maybe you wife is like me. If my man had been home, the only thing different would be that I would have asked him to retrieve Medley while I continued on my beeline to the loo.
     
  11. Steve26

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    I tend to agree with those who've speculated that she may just have had a foul taste in her mouth from drinking, smoking, or food.

    I also think that if the two of them had planned to fool around together, they wouldn't have let on to you that they were meeting up.

    Steve
     
  12. driftingvoid

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    Ask her. Don't let it eat away at you. If she's cheated on you before, then you have a perfect reason to question her. If you've been cheated on, especially by her, you have a legitimate reason to wonder why she acted oddly and had an unusual sense of priority for cleaning up when she got home. That's not paranoid; that's attentive. If she always comes home and kisses you, says hello, etc, and then didn't, after going out drinking with her ex, that's a legit reason to question her. And communication is fundamental to a good relationship.

    Also, if you're going to ask her, ask sooner than later-- avoid the "well why are you just now bringing this up?" argument.
     
  13. Wrist_thick10

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    Whether she did something or not, really isn't the question. Why would she be going out on a date with an ex? Just being in that situation causes anyone to think something might be going on....even if she didn't brush her teeth.
     
  14. Incocknito

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    Well I for one wouldn't let my girlfriend see her ex. Unless maybe she had a child with him, there is no reason for them to meet as far as I'm concerned.

    Maybe it would be okay if it was a platonic, non-alcoholic meeting. But meeting "for drinks" in other words purposely losing their inhibitions is a bit of a red flag to me.
     
  15. Wish-4-8

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    It would be one thing if brushing her teeth like that was just a habit. If this is something out of the ordinary, I would ask.

    If she cheated, then you need to have that conversation.

    If she didn't, just use the excuse that due to the circumstances, you got jealous and could not think straight. Chicks dig that. Just act vunerable.
     
  16. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    I totally agree....
    WHY does she need to go out with her ex?
    I am in a similar situation with my chick.. she wants to be 'friends' with every ex she has... and they call her txt her ect..
    I try not to put to much into it.. but its like wtf?
    Some of them even come over with their gf's wives ect.. and thats cool..
    Every situation is different..
    its about communication, and the limits that you both set in your relationship.
     
    #16 D_N Flay Table, Feb 10, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2009
  17. AlteredEgo

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    I'm friends with nearly all of my previous lovers and all of my previous boyfriends. If my man was insecure about it, I would have left him long ago.I choose to be with him, and only him. If that's ever not enough, I'm gone.

    That's not to imply that the OP shouldn't ask his questions if they're that important to him. The truth is, however, that he's either able to trust this woman, or he's not.
     
  18. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

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    To those of you who "wouldn't let her out": Don't you find that to be a little controlling?
     
  19. AlteredEgo

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    I thought the same thing! As if a grown woman requires (or desires) his permission for anything. Please.
     
  20. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    I feel totally secure with my chick.
    If I didn't, I would not be with her.
    I have had that bite me in the arse with other partners, but hey...
    I am not her dad, she is a big girl and maker her own decisions.
    Her ex's call her quite often, and she will talk and talk and talk to them for hours, I will give her privacy and find something else to do.
    There are some of them that I do not care for, *because they don't like me.
    and when I met them I felt like they were "sizing me up"...
    oh well..
    I use to force and find peace.
     
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