Wife Doesn't Want big dick
- Thread starter sonic81812003
- Start date
I'm not getting that from this story (puts on Counselor hat). I smell possible childhood sexual abuse or molestation.honeybun56 said:
stretcher74
Sexy Member
Sorcerer said:
I'm not getting that, and I leave such speculation for the audience of "The View". Not all problems are caused by diddling parents.
Sounds like she's not trying very hard. Unless you're an abusive and rough bastard all the time.
Possible reasons as discussed here:
0) Best: She is temporarially preocupied with something else;.
1) She has low sex drive.
2) She doesn't think she has to make an effort now that you are marrried
3) She has obsessive "feminist" ideology issues and basically hates you
4) She's blown up like in size like a cement truck in Tikrit, Iraq and has developed self-esteem issues/won't take responsibility. Many women like to project and blame others a la "The View" you might be getting the blame for her internal problems.
Has your wife gotten fat ?
stretcher74 said:
See...now this is the kind of no-bull assessment that needs to be said...well done my friend.
As far as cheating goes...never say never...but I find those straight accusations reckless at this point in time.
In my honest opinion we need more info from the poster...details brother stat!
OmahaBeef
stretcher74 said:
I don't recall any mental health professionals on the panel of The View. I worked in the field for years with people who had precisely these issues. I stated what I said poorly. I should have put it in the form of a question. Not enough sleep and too much caffeine sometimes makes me jump the gun a bit. Also, where did I say it was the parents? Weight and low sex drive (your 1 and also number 2) are symptoms and not the problem itself, as well as number 4. Number 3 is comical. We have many ways to prove how much we dislike ourselves.
We can't have good lives dragging a huge bag of garbage along with us. Once we dump it, we can be happy, joyous and free...and have great sex.
I have to agree with what some others have said here, but I am going to be more blunt.sonic81812003 said:
The average married couple has sex 2-3 times per week.
Your size isn't the problem. Your 'wife' is the problem.
She is providing the least amount of sex she thinks she can get away with and still keep you around, propping up her lifestyle (even if she has a job, your income is giving her far more than she could afford on her own).
If you do not have kids, divorce her now. Claim fraud while you're at it so you have a chance of getting out of this without alimony and if that doesn't work, make her document every dime she has spent of your community assets (odds are, her clothing and shoe budget dwarfs yours and there are probably a lot of other things she has bought to decorate your home that you would never have even considered buying if it weren't for her).
If you have a 401k (odds are, she doesn't, because she figured she could get you to do it and that would leave her more money to buy her own stuff), be sure to split it in the divorce so you don't have to keep funding her retirement.
I once heard it said:
"In a long term relationship, if the sex is good, it accounts for about 10% of the relationship, if it's bad, it accounts for about 90%"
I tend to agree with the statement that it might be the result of sexual, physical or mental abuse in her childhood, not nescesarily, but I'd say the possibility is good...
"In a long term relationship, if the sex is good, it accounts for about 10% of the relationship, if it's bad, it accounts for about 90%"
I tend to agree with the statement that it might be the result of sexual, physical or mental abuse in her childhood, not nescesarily, but I'd say the possibility is good...
rope9839 said:
The problem is; none of us know what else is going on in the OP marriage.
To fault her without knowing really isn't fair.
There may be other issues and I think it is likely that there are.
When a woman pulls away physically it does not mean she is frigged or has a low sex drive, it simply means she no longer feels that closeness.
If it is a trust issue, sex will suffer. If there is any animosity, sex will suffer.
But not just sex, it will usually encompass all physical (loving) contact.
If it is just that you are too big and you are loving and you are gentle, and there are no other issues; I would think that she would still enjoy other forms of sexuality just due to the need to be close to someone you love.
Women don't always equate sex with love- they don't always feel that having sex is showing love; but most women do feel that touching, hugging, cuddling is a loving gesture.
When a woman withholds affection in addition to sex, there are real problems.
It could stem from many things. It could be that she did have problems with sex and if her partner responded to that by getting mad, belittling her, or
threatening to cheat, that might add animosity to the mix and now she begins to feel unloved and soon stops being affectionate.
Who knows.
I can almost promise that when a woman looses her need for affection from her husband, there are bigger problems.
If it is just that sex is the problem, it may be that she does have pain. Or she have had something happen that soured her on sex.
Or maybe she was raised to feel sex was dirty.
But this situation sounds like there is a total disconnect.
I would ask the OP: do you feel loved? Other than sex, do you feel she wants to be with you, hug you, snuggle. Has she pushed you away completely?
If she has, then I don't think sex is the issue.
My husband is pretty big and I cannot get him in my mouth. Of course he understands that. I would be very hurt if he did not.
But I do other things, I can use my tongue, my fingers.
Even when there are times I don't want to have sex, I still want to touch him, sit close, rub his back, play with his hair, feel his arms around me.
I think it comes to 'do you love this woman' enough to try and work it out?
If you want this marriage to last, you need to see someone who can get both sides of the story.
Why is it Now suddenly a problem ?
When was her last physical, including a papsmear ?
Maybe she has some sort of small growth or tumor inside her vagina....don't think cancer.....benign things happen all the time.....
A cousin of mine and his wife couldn't have sex that wasn't painful for her and it turned out she had a benign growth inside her vagina.
Surgery to remove it solved the problem.
What is your wife's age ?
That may be a factor with hormones (or lack of the right ones) responsible for a low sex drive and her saying you're too big is an excuse......(albeit a poor one)
Also she wouldn't necessarily have to be near menopause to have her hormones way off.
Have that checked anyway.
I'm over 45 and I sometimes think I have enough sex hormones for 10 people.
:smile:
I rarely get my mind Out of the gutter.
I have to feel Really shitty to turn sex down.
And last......and I wouldn't even consider this until All other possibilities have been exhausted...
If she's involved with someone else......I'm sorry.....but that would explain a lack of interest.
Is her cell phone handy when she's in the shower ?...or does she keep it with her at ALL times ?....like on the bathroom counter when she's in the shower.
If you can,
Check her outgoing and incoming calls......plus, photos and videos.
Do you normally see the cell phone bill ?
Often it's the wives who pay the bills....but she should have no reason to keep you from looking at it....normally.
Credit card bills ?
If joint account, they should be able to send you an extra copy of the month's charges.
Last resort if you suspect anything:
Hiring a PI to follow her is very costly.......but can be worth it if there is enough suspicion.
FYI :
As for local numbers.....you can make any local call from your home phone and it will not appear on the bill.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
Good luck....and as another here has stated.....I, too, would be all over you....:wink:
When was her last physical, including a papsmear ?
Maybe she has some sort of small growth or tumor inside her vagina....don't think cancer.....benign things happen all the time.....
A cousin of mine and his wife couldn't have sex that wasn't painful for her and it turned out she had a benign growth inside her vagina.
Surgery to remove it solved the problem.
What is your wife's age ?
That may be a factor with hormones (or lack of the right ones) responsible for a low sex drive and her saying you're too big is an excuse......(albeit a poor one)
Also she wouldn't necessarily have to be near menopause to have her hormones way off.
Have that checked anyway.
I'm over 45 and I sometimes think I have enough sex hormones for 10 people.
:smile:
I rarely get my mind Out of the gutter.
I have to feel Really shitty to turn sex down.
And last......and I wouldn't even consider this until All other possibilities have been exhausted...
If she's involved with someone else......I'm sorry.....but that would explain a lack of interest.
Is her cell phone handy when she's in the shower ?...or does she keep it with her at ALL times ?....like on the bathroom counter when she's in the shower.
If you can,
Check her outgoing and incoming calls......plus, photos and videos.
Do you normally see the cell phone bill ?
Often it's the wives who pay the bills....but she should have no reason to keep you from looking at it....normally.
Credit card bills ?
If joint account, they should be able to send you an extra copy of the month's charges.
Last resort if you suspect anything:
Hiring a PI to follow her is very costly.......but can be worth it if there is enough suspicion.
FYI :
As for local numbers.....you can make any local call from your home phone and it will not appear on the bill.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
Good luck....and as another here has stated.....I, too, would be all over you....:wink:
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