wife shared a picture, i feel bad doing same

[rob_just_rob]

If I post a message saying "I love you all" on this board (or facebook, or wherever), is it the same thing as sending a message to one person, saying "I love you"?

 

[maxcok]

This thread is full of the most tortured rationalizations and self-justifications. The only thing that matters is whether or not the OP and his wife are open and honest with each other and establish boundaries that make sense for them and their relationship.

Any way you look at it though, cocks are not equivalent to tits.

We've not heard a peep from the OP since he started this thread.
I'm mildly curious what his take is and how he's decided to proceed after all this input.

 

[D_Arsenio Overtit]

Hey so here is whats up. We are doing better. There are some trust issues, but that goes farther back, with money and stuff too. But, we are still happily together, i still do this on my OWN time without her knowing, and keep it to posting, not looking for a hookup. She does know this guy, so to me it is worse, but she doesn't work with him everyday, he is in a state 2000 miles away. They have similar jobs with the same company. In fact, she is leaving for a conference tomorrow where she will probably run into him. I trust her, she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to see him. it almost destroyed our marriage. She flat out doesn't even want to see this guy. I know some of you will be like, yeah right, she is a liar, but I have to trust her.

but, in my book, this is different, im not trying to hook up, not cheating, just enjoying. I wouldn't care if she did this with her pussy on her own time, as long as she didn't pursue anything from it. Hell, I would invite her here to join me, share pictures all night, if i thought she would be into it.

 

[YumYumCock]

My BF loves it when strangers comment about my pics and he gets off on it when I have cammed with guys who have cum... HOWEVER, they are strangers and I am not doing anything that he doesn't know about. I think the issue is that she works with the guy and there may be some attraction going on. The two issues are similar but not the same to me. I think she did something wrong there.

 

[ledroit]

... She flat out doesn't even want to see this guy. ....

I don't think I can imagine a woman sending a nude pic to somebody they didn't want to see, at least on an unconscious level, drunk or sober.

Only a fool would think that guys showing off here or in a locker room or shower means they want to date the whole team. But a woman sending me a shot of her tits by phone? Not at all the same thing, unless she sent it to everybody.

It's hard to imagine a young wife doing something like this by accident, drunk or sober. Sorry it's been tough, but better to get this sorted out now rather than 5 or 10 years down the road.

 

[maxcok]

Hey so here is whats up. We are doing better. There are some trust issues, but that goes farther back, with money and stuff too. But, we are still happily together, i still do this on my OWN time without her knowing, and keep it to posting, not looking for a hookup.

If you're trying to work on the "trust issues", don't you see a problem, a double standard if fact, if you haven't come clean with her about your activities here?

. . . . it almost destroyed our marriage.

If this is true, I suspect you're still in real trouble.

She flat out doesn't even want to see this guy. I know some of you will be like, yeah right, she is a liar, but I have to trust her.

By the same token, should she trust you?

but, in my book, this is different, im not trying to hook up, not cheating, just enjoying. I wouldn't care if she did this with her pussy on her own time, as long as she didn't pursue anything from it. Hell, I would invite her here to join me, share pictures all night, if i thought she would be into it.

That first bit sounds like a rationalization. Why don't you just be honest and see how she feels about it?

p.s. How did you find out she flashed her tits, btw?

 

[D_Arsenio Overtit]

yeah, absolutely, when i drilled her about it over and over, she finally admitted they had flirted. And yes it did almost destroy our marriage, and are seeing someone about it currently. I still have weird thoughts that she messed around with him while at training that week, but I am a VERY negative and paranoid person, so who knows. Its possible, but i dont think likely.

 

[maxcok]

yeah, absolutely, when i drilled her about it over and over, she finally admitted they had flirted. And yes it did almost destroy our marriage, and are seeing someone about it currently. I still have weird thoughts that she messed around with him while at training that week, but I am a VERY negative and paranoid person, so who knows. Its possible, but i dont think likely.

I notice you didn't answer my questions. If by "seeing someone" you mean couples counseling, that's great. However, if you haven't been honest and forthcoming about your activities and involvement here, you're practicing a double standard. Often the most suspicious and mistrustful people are those with something to hide themselves. I strongly suggest you come clean and try to put your relationship on an open, honest and equal footing. Otherwise, to answer the question in your OP, yes, you're being a hypocrite, and it does not bode well for your relationship.

 

[Hippie Hollow Girl]

I know that because of being a nudist I probably don't think the same way most do. So, I wouldn't be upset at the act of a female partner flashing breasts at someone. It really is only a body part. It is not a sex "organ". Men have breasts too and some of them are big and nice looking (pecs) and nobody bats an eye if a guy sends a pic of his breasts to someone.

Do I think it is very professional for a young lady to send a pic of her bare breasts via text to a coworker? No, I don't think that is the smartest thing to do. With the economy the way it is today there are a lot of companies looking to down size and they are looking for any reason to lay someone off. So, there is a chance that her coworker might show the bare breast pic to someone and tell people it is her or someone might recognize them. Not very smart if your wife ever wants to go into or just happens to become involved in some kind of politics. Can turn into a skeleton in the back of her closet. I would put this type of action on the same level of wanting to do something crazy and fun without the thinking cap on.....Kind of like mooning somebody.....but instead she flashed a part of her body that she likes and is proud of.

You are kind of doing the same thing. You are on here showing off a part of your body that you are proud of. And there is nothing wrong with that. But, both of you are off doing your own thing kind of behind each other's backs. She thinks she can do whatever she wants to do and you seem to think you can do whatever you want to do. Except that somehow you found out she had sent a pic of her breasts to this coworker..... What are you going to do if she ever discovers that you are posting on LPSG? I guarantee that if you ever bring it to light to this counselor she will tell you that what you are doing is as bad as what your wife did. (And I am not telling you to tell your wife you are on here.....that is your decision that only you can make. )

Also I recently heard on the news a case about a guy reading his wife's email (hacking into her g.mail account) because he suspected she was cheating on him. Now the guy is looking at a felony charge. Be careful with the snooping is all I have to say!

Talk and set boundaries!

 

[marriedasian]

talk about it and see how it goes then make a decision after that.

 

[EmJay]

You could also decide to bring it up, clear your current user and pics and start a new one with her..as if you have just wanted to set up an account together with her..

The fact is..no matter who did something wong..the both of you had some desire to do something with a part of your sexuality that did not involve each other..

By bringing her into your world you might still be able to relieve some of the desires she felt compelled to answer when she engaged in a sneeky adventure with a co worker. No matter if you think you have resolved the issue..the fact still remains that there was something leading to it all. Someone else made her feel good about herself and she probably felt she did not get that from you..

You can decide to look at it with fear or jealousy..or you could decide to see this as a chance to renegotiate your sexual boundaries together. By participating in something that might feel awkward at first..but still something that you could share together..as a couple..

You could also ask the moderation team to delete this thread if you are ready to start anew..

But the message is..that anger, jealousy, paranoia, or stifling one another 's space is not going to be the solution. But an open conversation of the both of your needs and desires, could create more intimacy between the two of u.

She might stop now..out of fear..but what will happen if the same thing that started her looking outside the two of you for attention resurfaces??..I can tell you this...we (women) will just get better at lying....and you just know that it won't do good things for your own insecurities and trust issues.

Its your marriage and by that same token its within your own integrity to handle your marital issues as you please..

But there is nothing wrong with coming on here...don't make it something wrong either..

Many couples here have the time of their lives here...Maybe you could ask them how they started it here..

 

[Drifterwood]

I wouldn't confuse what you are doing with other issues that you may have in your marriage. Personally I give people space, because despite how people present themselves on discussion boards, we are not all perfectly conforming to some new wonderful morality. There are limits of course and these vary for different people, but I do believe that we all need to be cut some slack rather than being held to impossible and often silly standards.

As you have said yourself, you have trust issues. A lack of trust in a relationship is a really destructive thing and you have taken it to a high level by checking her private correspondence. If you want your relationship to last, you need to look at the underlying issues, and not concentrate on those above the surface, especially as you are involved in public exhibitionism, albeit it anonymously; that only affects the people looking, not you.

 

[AlteredEgo]

What is this, Shariah law? Did she keep her veil on when she flashed her tits?

First, what are you doing spying on her phone?

Secondly, be happy that she isn't dead below the neck. You're young for god's sake, have a bit of fun. Oh and she has a bit of an exhibitionist thing going on. Maybe you could add some joint pics in your profile.

Stop being a prude, generally.

This. All of it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

You could also decide to bring it up, clear your current user and pics and start a new one with her..as if you have just wanted to set up an account together with her..

.

If you take this advice, make certain you each have your own accounts.

 

[toolman4897]

So i recently found out my wife texted a picture of her tits to another guy she works with, though he is in another state. she as drunk, and i still believe she didn't cheat, but thats besides the point.

my big question is, am i a hypocrite doing the same basically here?

im torn

its a pic get over it..


this whole sexting thing is so stupid,its like having a phone conversation where you talk dirty,its just words,until you cross the line and actually do something physical it is no big deal...

now if you don't trust her......you got bigger issues.

 

[laphiha]

I hate to say it, but does sound a little hypocritical. Just get your wife to show her tits here, though. Or at least tell her about this acount, that way you're both out in the open.

 

[TheRob]

Female here, I'm sorry Ducati3016 but what your wife did was so very wrong on so many counts that if I were married to her I would be really pissed (that is unless you have an previously agreed to open marriage as swingers).

I may be delusional, but I view this site as more a guy's site (you know a place for male bonding - asking questions and comparing sizes which is absolutely normal between guys). Unless you are online actively soliciting hookups I would not consider the two instances as the same.

Just my two cents worth...

oh I like you, doyou by chance like younger men )

 

[TheRob]

Her was way more personal I think.

lets also remember she could lose her job over this behavior...

 

[nakedone]

I do believe that any woman who allows herself to be photographed naked is wanting to show those photos to other men. She may deny it, especially to her husband, but she is still thrilled to know there may be men out there looking and lusting after her naked body.

So, in a sense, the husband who has nude photos of his wife is carrying-out her wishes when she shares them with other men.

 

[petite]

I do believe that any woman who allows herself to be photographed naked is wanting to show those photos to other men. She may deny it, especially to her husband, but she is still thrilled to know there may be men out there looking and lusting after her naked body.

So, in a sense, the husband who has nude photos of his wife is carrying-out her wishes when she shares them with other men.

You have got to be kidding me. You have a lot to learn about women.

There are times when someone says something so nonsensical, it's difficult to find the words to respond properly. I suppose, "Don't be ridiculous" would cover it, though.