Wife tried to commit suicide.

craigsmith

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My wife had 3 cervical disc that are crushed and the spinal cord is narrowing. She is in so much pain all the time Had 2 surgeries but neither one corrected the problem so they just put in BMP to hold it together but could not put in any hardware to hold it in place because the Dr let it go too long and there was not enough of the disc to hold the hardware. Now the BMP is breaking down. She was on Opiac narcotics like oxyconton with Tylenol, etc, Last week she said she was hurting so much that she just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. My son who is 20 found her passed out in the floor in the kitchen. We got her to the hospital and to a major hospital is st Louis. She said she tried to end the pain. She survived due to great hospital care. Her liver enzymes were over 15,000 and now they are 7. Her liver was failing. Now I am afraid to leave her at home alone when I go to work. I bought a locking pill planner and lock the other meds up in a new safe I bought. She does not know the combination. She says that she would never do this again to us since she saw how much it affected all of us, her mom , brother, sisters and me and the kids. I am having nightmares now of finding her dead and wake up crying. the feeling of dread won't go away and I am not sure what I need to do about it. Any suggestions, has anyone ever gone through this with any relative or spouse.
 

B_gundyone

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Oh my god i am so sorry to hear this. Suicide is a strange thing because you never know what is going on in someones head. The ones who seem so put together will go home for lunch one day and do something like this. You can never tell who or when. I wish i had great advice or could help you in some way. The people who want out rarely think of how it will be for the people who find them and have to go on living after that horror. Try talking to a mental health advisor and plead with them for help. Maybe you have a facility in your area that has in and out patient therapy. You will need to do this otherwise you will be scared every day at work wondering how she is. I really wish you the best and hope all works out for you
 

winnie45

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Contact your local hospice...they're not just for people dying but also deal with pain management with good success. Also, if you are able, get your wife into counseling
 
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Aww, no - sounds terrible. :(

I'll read it again later and comment, just thought I'd pass on my regards, and best wishes to you both. :(
 

AlteredEgo

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Contact your local hospice...they're not just for people dying but also deal with pain management with good success. Also, if you are able, get your wife into counseling

This seems like a good plan to me. Additionally, craigsmith, you seem to have a form of PTSD, and should get counseling for yourself and for your son. I'm sorry this is happening to your family.
 

eurotop40

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My mother has similar problems, although much milder. She has a congenital stricture of her spinal cord and has been in pain for years but she still can manage. Sometimes pain specialists can implant a peristaltic pump that injects ananesthetic... maybe this could be a solution. All the best from over the pond.
 

ccbobo

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This is very sad indeed. My heart goes out to your entire family. I sincerely hope that all of you get the help that you need in order to deal with this most horrific situation.
 

Cybearia

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Sorry to hear what you are all going through. I would second (or third) the advice about seeking specialist pain management interventions. I have seen the difference these services can make to people's lives.

Find a good one, one that doesn't just use a pharmacological based approach, but also includes physical and psychological rehabilitation. The combination is remarkably effective.

Good luck, to all of you.

Cyb.
 

andyf1985

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I am really, really sorry to hear what happened. Can she not get a referral to a Pain-Clinic, or a Neurologist who has an interest in pain-management? Also consider a Psychiatrist to make sure her depression is treated.
 

craigsmith

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Thanks for all your advice. She is on anti-deprisesents, and has a new GP. She is also seeing a psycharaist. The Psyc and the pain management dept did help her now they transferred her to a pain clinic in Cape Girardeau MO who will help her. She is also scheduled to see a fibro clinic in Paducah KY. I personally think I need tp see a counselor. This is where we are now.
 

helgaleena

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I am so glad you both are reaching out for help. My mom has chronic pain from crushed vertebrae and it's only getting worse due to osteoporosis. They have her in physical therapy, and she has received spinal injections. in addition she uses a pain patch every night. The meds caused a bleeding ulcer some years back. Those high doses are bad news.

I know it will change all your lives, but it might be time to apply for federal disability. The depression is a nightmare that will lift slowly. But it will lift. Many thanks for sharing with us and keep looking up.
 

Stephenmass

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I was going to suggest posting here to see how you are doing, but as far as actual help, it should definitely be in professional hands. It is too risky to not be in professional hands.

Other than that, if you need to post or want support post here. I am certain that if something that life changing happened to me I may speak with a couple of real life friends about it for my own emotional well being, as to hers professionals. I feel for you man and hope things get better for you but wouldn't even know where to start to help that situation.

It sounds as if you are doing what I suggested though and that is a great thing!
 

amazinggrace

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See a pain management Doctor or even try acupuncture. Yes, the later seems silly, but I have seen acupuncture work miracles where pain meds failed. Physical therapy works wonders too, along with of course something to help control her pain, and water therapy is also an option. Someone in pain really shouldn't be at home just trying to deal with her pain. I feel awful reading your post, as I know there are options out there that can help with her feeling so desperate as to end the pain and her life. I wish you good luck, and yes a Hospice check in can be a great thing. If you aren't home for rides too and from therapy or such, there are churches that run these programs that help out the sick. One is called "breathing room" where they help you with any task from driving her to her appts. to food shopping to cleaning. I wish you good luck and most that your wife gets to experience life more manageable and without so much pain that will control her every thought.
 

D_Cass_D_Whey

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This is very serious mate and you being the man in the family need to lead her. That is show her that there is hope that she can get back to where she was, you have to step up and train her psychologically.

I have a very inspirational video of a disabled man ruled out by doctors to ever walk again, building himself again, not only to walk again but run against all the odds.

I highly recommend you make her watch that, to show her what it's like being on the brink and bouncing back again.

Inbox me your email and I'll send you the video. Good luck sorting this out mate.
 

Brisler

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I agree with twoton. She is lucky to have so many loving people to care for her. Unfortunately I can't offer you any advice, but seeking some professional help for yourself after such a traumatic experience might be a good idea, as suggested.

I sincerely hope that you all will get through this and that your wife gets all the help she needs.
 

technopeasant

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I have been there. Fortunately surgery got mine to a bearable state but, now I am allergic to codeine and Morphine. It sounds like she is being taken care of better now that she is in contact with a pain clinic hopefully a good one. I would talk to a back specialty hospital. You can find them by searching on the net. There are several in the US. I always considered the mental health people to be an insult though I did see an improvement over time. Pain causes a lot of depression and anti-depressants can help with pain levels. She needs someone checking on her several times per day in person. Preferably a professional like a nurse or CNA for pain meds and evaluation. It is tremendously hard to keep your spirits up when your legs feel like they are being crushed and set on fire at the same time. Keep telling her that there is hope. That's what she needs now and keep exploring medical means to get her some help.
 

sexplease

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Pain management is a must. It's said, when you have your health, you have everything. My mom, a sister and my niece all have had spinal fusions. My niece 3 times. The last was so bad the surgeons went through her front to fix a cracked vertebrae from the second fails surgery. They have all been miserable when their pain is out of control - to the point of depression.
Good medical care and a loving, supportive family and friends help keep hope alive for a better future.
I wish her a speedy and comfortable recovery.