Wife was honest about size *Mature Discussion*

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by cjay8inc, Apr 6, 2010.

  1. cjay8inc

    cjay8inc New Member

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    Me and my wife were talking last night... () She mentioned that after our first time we had sex the next morning she could barely sit down and she told me we were not compatible. We now never have sex with her legs up or doggy style.

    What is the best way to have sex and get the satisfaction of deep penetration without hurting her?

    We try her laying her legs flat on the bed and me putting one leg outside of hers and one inside of hers. This feels good...
    However women is this position to limit the depth that I'm going? Help will be greatly appreciated!!!
     
  2. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    You just described the story of my life. The first time we tried to have sex, i honestly asked him if it was ok if we never had sex. I didn't want to go through the pain. Things got better with time but i still get sore and some positions arent worth the trouble if its been too long.

    It is what it is, not much you can do when you have big dick combined with a small vagina.
     
  3. B_mrblabla

    B_mrblabla New Member

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    It's better than having a small dick combined with a big vagina :wink::biggrin1:
     
  4. je1ani

    je1ani New Member

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    can you give what size you are and what height your wife is? it would help

    the simplest way is to limit depth of penetration

    however there could also be factors dealing with the vagina that could be medical problems

    if you provided facts it would be easier to help
     
  5. joe bltsflk

    joe bltsflk Member

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    Hopefully, mutually satisfactory alternatives to deep vaginal penetration can be explored:
    oral. anal, hand jobs, frottage, etc.
     
  6. Maia

    Maia New Member

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    It took me close to a year to get used to my husband. I only let him know once I could handle him, though. I didn't want him to think I was bad in bed or have him look for sex elsewhere. (Insecure, I know.) The length doesn't hurt me, it hurts him. The girth hurts, though. Whenever I get sore, I tell him I want to suck him, stroke him, or I tell him I want to watch him masturbate (love that.) I orgasm very quickly, so I am always satisfied before getting sore.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    Don't bother answering this question. Neither your size nor your wife's height will tell anyone anything. A woman's vaginal capacity isn't related to her height.

    If your penis is too big for her, then it's just too big for her. The advice will be the same regardless of what dimensions you provide here.

    More than likely providing penile dimensions will only make this discussion veer off course, with one camp claiming she should have no difficulty with your size based on personal experiences or anecdotal evidence, and the other camp claiming the opposite. Those anecdotes or claims won't help you because that's a different penis and a different woman. Don't bother, it won't help to answer the question.

    Both legs up and doggy style "shorten" my vagina. You will be able to do these positions if you learn to limit how deep you penetrate her. It requires skill and practice, but you can learn to do it.

    There are doughnut shaped devices, a hilt, that can help you limit your depth if you have difficulty with penetrating too deep.

    We've discovered that the deeper he thrusts, the slower he has to go. Slow deep thrusts can be deeply pleasurable and satisfying, but if he thrusts too fast at the same depth, it can be very painful.

    You may not be able to without hurting her. My bf can put his penis all the way inside me at any time, the problem is that it usually hurts. There is a huge difference between physiological capability and pleasure when it comes to fitting a large penis inside a vagina.

    Some women on this site say that I'll stretch over time, others say that they never have. My own experiences are confusing. I used to think that more of him fit in me than before, but then some things happened a few weeks ago that made me think that he just wasn't getting super-incredibly-aroused like in the very beginning of our relationship and that had given me the illusion that he fit better than before. This weekend we had sex in a position that usually hurts if he thrusts very fast, but he was all the way in and it felt amazing. It was a first for me, but I wondered if maybe he just wasn't as hard as usual and if that was the reason he was in all the way to the hilt and it still felt amazing, or if I had actually grown accustomed to his size. I don't know the answer to that question.

    Yes, I do this when he's going too deep for my comfort. It limits the depth of penetration. It works.
     
    #7 petite, Apr 7, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2010
  8. RawDog

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    As far as limiting how deep you go, since she's got the final word on that, she needs to be on top and ride you to her comfort level. She can keep you quite shallow if she lies horizontal on top of you and she can swallow you pretty deeply if she props herself upright while straddling.

    Due to my girth, we can't do this, but if you want a really slow pleasure/pain screw and take advantage of your length *and* not go deep, you can try, with her on top, having your legs outside hers. Alternatively, you can do the same thing with you on top:

    Inverted Jockey Sex Positions

    Only try this if you're girth is fairly normal/average. My wife can't do this for long because it feels like I'm prying her open.

    I had another idea as I was writing, but dammit I forgot what it was. I'll post later once I remember.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    I should have mentioned woman on top!

    I've discussed what works best for me with bf in previous threads with RawDog, so I'm just going to post those quotes.

     
    #9 petite, Apr 7, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2010
  10. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    I have been just a little too long for a couple of gals. Cowgirl usually worked best letting her "do the driving" so to speak. You might try a spooning position with you both lying on your sides with you facing her backside. It is usually hard to get close pelvic contact in this position, so you have a bit of a gap to bridge, which might work to your advantage. I have found that doggy style with your knees outside of hers and her thighs close together limits the depth of penetration a bit and changes the angle some. It might be worth a try.

    As for too much girth, I don't know of anything but to use lubrication and limit duration and perhaps frequency of vaginal intercourse.
     
  11. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I'm almost crying as I read the responses from the women. You're describing my life about 10 years ago. I honestly did not realize how difficult it would be. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it was difficult getting there. I saw right away that he was endowed, but I didn't want to say anything as he looked more self-conscious than anything. He even all but apologized, so I really didn't want to make a big deal of it, pardon the pun. But it was a big deal, and I had to learn to get over it. I was head over heels in love with him and still am, so I knew I had to find a solution. The solution was gentleness and time. It was a learning experience for both of us. But he did make me feel like a virgin again, and I thought maybe that's what Madonna was singing about!
     
  12. RawDog

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    Ok, now I remembered what I was going to write.

    Before I describe this one, be forewarned, this is only useful if you like the deep slow burn kind of sex, not the jackhammer pounding.

    While doing the normal missionary, go deep enough so your glans is in contact with her posterior fornix. Now concentrate on what's going on above her torso...

    **SLAP** PAY ATTENTION... ABOVE HER TORSO

    Kiss her up and down her neck, be gentle with her, caress her breasts, let your hands roam, but above all leave your cock motionless inside her, filling her up, almost painfully, but just a not-so-gentle reminder that you are firmly planted inside her.

    Involuntarily, she will start squeezing little squeezes to compensate for the motionlessness. Now prop yourself up, gaze at her lovingly and ever so slowly pull yourself out. Because of the vacuum seal formed from the squeezes, the depth, and the contact, both of you will feel a little tug on your cockhead, then a pop. You're actually slightly pulling the back of her vagina out with your cock, and the pop is this vacuum being relieved.

    This is where length counts...

    She'll feel your absence back there, she's hungry, she'll want to pull you back into her again. This time (since you were propped up) you lay back down on her to kiss. As you're lowering your face downward to kiss her, push in. But don't push in like before, push in deeper. Much deeper. She's needing to be filled, moreso than before because now she feels the void deep insider her.

    Don't just push in though, push in and ride high so your cock is using her entrance as a fulcrum to push you deep and downward away from her uterus and cervix. I've noticed my wife's vagina more capable of being stretched downward (towards her spine) more easily than upward (towards her bellybutton).

    She'll either cum or ask you to stop what your doing. If she cums, high five. If she tells you to stop whatever the fuck you're doing, blame me and report back here for instructions on the best deals for jewelry and flowers.
     
  13. dolfette

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    i like to wrap my fingers around the base when the guy is on top.

    i can give him extra stimulation and also stop him going too deep.
    same as you would for a bj i s'pose.
     
  14. RawDog

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    Wow! You remembered that exchange?!?!! Cool. Sometimes, especially in the Women's Issues threads, I feel like I'm butting in on a conversion by women, for women. Glad I wasn't.

    I realize lpsg was probably started as a joke, but it really is very heartening to find people do post here with actual, legitimate issues, and come away with answers and deeply felt understanding.

    I'm getting to like this place, like a lot.

    One of the best compliments I ever got was from my ex who said, "Every time I fuck you, I feel like I'm losing my virginity all over again."
     
  15. conntom

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    For us we limit penetration in certain positions. Luckily in missionary after we really get into it I can go all in and it's good. Doggie, I am never able to go all in. We manage it ok and it's better than other gf's I've had that could not go all in in any position. There have been some that had no problem taking it all in any position but this girl rocks.
     
  16. D_Andreas Sukov

    D_Andreas Sukov Account Disabled

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    Let her go on top and control the penetration. For more than one girl, ive had to let them control it, to get use to the length or girth, whatever this issue was for them, whilst i just sat there (pretty much). Im not supposing you sit there like a lemon (hey!) but maybe you can caress her whilst doing so etc and let her dictate it. I really cant stress how much women hate you "helping" as they try and take as much as they can.

    It takes alot of work, but when its all done, as has been said, it is truly worth it.
     
  17. D_76froy

    D_76froy New Member

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    I can certainly relate to this - thank you Ellie for saying it so well. Although I enjoy having a large penis, there are times when I wish is was just a little bigger than average (particularly when it comes to girth). I have often had women who were initially intrigued with my cock but because it was painful when we fucked it just didn't work out. Fortunately I have several women with vaginas that will accomodate me easily, and we have a wonderful time. My ex-wife was another story -- loved each other dearly, but she was always uncomfortable when we had sex and usually had to give it a few days in between before she was ready to let me fuck her again. It was the main reason for our divorce -- I didn't want to fool around on her and she grew tired of sex.

    My advice: find a woman who can handle your size that loves you.

    -Ranger

     
  18. Enid

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    I have not really stretched with time wrt girth. Length I've adapted to. I can't really get on top comfortably. It is, as others say, like I'm a virgin in college all over again. Especially if it's been a little bit since last we rode the hobby horse.

    I love love love the inverted jockey position though!
     
  19. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I have never found being on top easy if he's too big. It's more like a knees up position but you are just on top. It's no easier than say laying on your back with your knees pulled up. I also find it very hard on my knee joints to try to control the depth while on top. It's really a big pain as far as girth goes. It's easier to lay completely on top of him (like reverse missionary, with her on top and him on bottom) when it comes to not tearing. I can also put my pelvis higher (like near his belly button) as to not allow him to push too deeply inside.
     
  20. dolfette

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    agreed.
     
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