Wife's Groupsex Fantasies

[olp79]

My wife and I have been exploring our fantasies and I wanted to know if anyone on here had any thoughts as to where this might be headed. I apologize for the longish post...

We’re in our thirties and she was more experienced than me when we met. She’s been with around twenty men, I’ve been with ten women. Her main fantasy (she tends to think of it, I believe, about half the time when we have sex) is of me having sex with another woman while a group of men watches. Sometimes she fantasizes about me inviting the men to join in. I am clearly the dominant figure, ordering them what to do with her. Sometimes the woman in her fantasies is one of my ex girlfriends.

We also watch porn a couple times a week. She prefers groupsex scenes and she likes to fantasize about me being one of the men in the movies. She tells me, and I believe her, that she does not imagine herself being involved in these fantasies, they revolve around me, not her. When she asks, for instance, if I’d like to be one of the men in the movies fucking a group of women, I respond that I would, provided that she was one of the women. She doesn’t seem interested in being involved in the fantasies, however. The only other women I’ve explored this territory with were very interested in being involved. One probably would have had a threesome if we’d gotten around to putting one together, particularly with another man (we talked about it but it never happened).

She also tells me that she’s never had a threesome although she did have sex with her ex boyfriend a few times on webcam on a swinger website and says that she enjoyed it. I’ve suggested that we try this but she hasn’t wanted to.

For the time being I’m happy with what we’re doing in the bedroom and I’m not planning to push this any further. I’m willing to consider opening things up a bit if she wants to but I wouldn’t push it either. I am wondering where it might lead, however, and what’s going on in her mind. Does anyone have any thoughts as to what’s going on or where this might be headed?

 

[vlls]

it depends on too many variables buddy what it boils down to though is trust and getting rid of jealousy (At least to reasonable extend)... that should help you get through any obstacles and enjoy the ride! let us know how things turn out!

 

[olp79]

Yeah, I'm sure you're right. She did again yesterday. Talking about me fucking my ex-gf and another woman while another man watched. I finished and then told them to go take care of him. I asked her about it and she explained that I could be mean to another woman but not to her...I think I have a naughty girl on my hands.

 

[Bbucko]

Sometimes fantasies are best left being just that: fantasies.

If you really want to bring this to some sort of next level, discuss limits and boundaries way in advance of anything actually happening, unless you're prepared for some hellish drama to ensue.

Couples entering into groups need to be prepared for all kinds of inevitables, even if them seem inconceivable at the time you're planning everything. Here's a great example: how can you verify that you'll be the alpha/Dom male amongst a group of (relative) unknowns? How would you react if one of them rejects your authority?

Are you both really sure that you can see your spouse in full-throttle fuck with someone else?

Are all drugs/stimulants off the table, whether for you (both) and/or your playmates? Does that include alcohol and cannabis?

Where is this scene going to take place? Do you really want all these people knowing where you live?

Is there a swingers group in your area? Where will you find all these people who'll go as far as you'd like while still obeying your limits? Are there any specific body types/ages/races you'd find unwelcome or otherwise displeasing to your fantasy?

How long do you see this party continuing? How will you get everyone to leave when you're done?

Is this a one-shot deal, or a new barrier being lifted in your mutual intimacy? How do you decide when a repeat's in order?

Groups are great provided everyone's one the same page, but they can be a complete mess if you're not; take it from someone who's been on both sides of the coin.

 

[olp79]

Good points Bbucko, I appreciate the advice. Like I said, I'm in no rush to push things forward, just very curious as to what's actually going on inside her head. I expect that, if anything does progress from fantasy to reality, it won't be for quite some time. Thanks again!

 

[dolfette]

women have lots of fantasies that they like to keep just as fantasies. it's perfectly normal.

men tend to assume we're going somewhere with them, or we just need encouragement to act them out. often that assumption couldn't be more wrong.

ffs, i have a fantasy that involves a hammer and nails!
only hot in my imagination. seriously.

quit trying to make it more than it is and she'll open up even more! lots of guys would love a wife who wants to watch porn and trade fantasies as part of their sex lives. create an imaginary world where you can have any celeb you choose. run with it!

 

[D_Balls Cezanne]

women have lots of fantasies that they like to keep just as fantasies. it's perfectly normal.

men tend to assume we're going somewhere with them, or we just need encouragement to act them out. often that assumption couldn't be more wrong.

ffs, i have a fantasy that involves a hammer and nails!
only hot in my imagination. seriously.

quit trying to make it more than it is and she'll open up even more! lots of guys would love a wife who wants to watch porn and trade fantasies as part of their sex lives. create an imaginary world where you can have any celeb you choose. run with it!

What the lady said.