"wifeswapping" problem

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by colonelflashdance, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. colonelflashdance

    colonelflashdance New Member

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    hello.

    okay.

    for a few months now, it's been clear to my wife that a friend who was recently married wants to get with her. actually, he's been talking nasty to her before i even met her, so she thinks it's just steam being blown. however, the other night at a party, she was in a room with him and he suggested to her that we all go home together. at the same time, his wife was trying to flirt with me on the floor below. this has happened before at parties, where they made a comment to one or both of us, but my wife is rigidly against it. me... not so much.

    take into acount that i'm bi and have never been with another guy, and the fact that i'm actually excited about having a foursome or swapping or something. i'm freaky, i suppose. my wife... not so much.

    my wife said to me in a haze of pot smoke that the only way she would ever engage with more than just me is if she was attracted to the girl or guy... and both of these two are not her type, but the wife is my type, and i mean, while i wouldn't go out of my way to see this dude's piece, i wouldn't argue against it, either.

    this sucks.


    ths isn't the first time i had a talk about this with my wife. and the fact that she said she'd have to be attracted to the girl makes me all wiggly inside. because i know my wife's had crushes on girls before. but, she's also very jealous. if she saw me with another girl, she'd flip out. she gets pissed about me keeping in contact ,over the internet, with girls i knew back home (mostly platonic, thier choices, not mine of course.)... so i don't know where this is going. plus my wife has issues with her body because she's overwieght. that is easy to fix, i tell her, and we've both gone on a diet starting a week ago. what gets me is that she doesn't se how much wieght she's lost from when we started dating (i assume 50 pounds or more.) and she wasn't that big to begin with. so, maybe i can get her feeling confident enough to be adventurous? i don't know... she sounds to me like she 1/4 wants to.. but i think something is holding her back. me, i'm not without my confidence issues... but i think in being with someone i love for 3 years has given me a sexual confidence that i'd be able to take my clothes of in front of someone else now. i guess i'm a bit exhibitionist. i wish my wife was.

    lil' help?
     
  2. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    Sounds like your wife has a case of Morals !

    And I don't mean this to sound condeming, just an observation.

    I too would love to intermix with another couple, I would more than willing to service the guy as well as the girl...But I know my wife....No F'n way.

    Good luck,,,,
     
  3. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Maybe finding a couple that your wife is attracted to instead of trying to talk her into doing something she clearly doesn't want to do would be a good idea.
     
  4. colonelflashdance

    colonelflashdance New Member

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    yeah, that's already come up.

    she's too hung up on her insecurities i think.

    plus, she does have a case of the morals. haha

    good advice, though. thank you.
     
  5. dolfette

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    it's not her fault you got married before you'd satisfied your desire to experiment.

    she said no. case closed.
     
  6. snoozan

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    i'm with dolfette, i think you drop it with her completely. if at some later date you meet a couple that she's interested in, she'll tell you. she knows your desires. she's not going to forget them. the more you wheedle, the less she'll like the idea.

    i have an illustrative story. i had a boyfriend that liked anal sex. which was great. i like anal sex. so we decided to try it our first time together, and it was great. so we'd do it sometimes, and sometimes not, and things were fine. then he started wanting it every time we had sex, and i wasn't into it that much. well, instead of backing off and letting me lead that part for awhile, he started pressuring me. it got to the point very quickly where i started not liking anal sex with him, and when he upped the pressuring even more, i didn't want to have sex with him at all.

    my point is, once you start treating your partner simply as a way to fulfill your desires, it becomes hurtful. as soon as you start ignoring their feelings once they state them very clearly, you seem selfish and uncaring. you need to drop it. she's not just a vehicle for your sexual fantasies. that's what porn is for.
     
  7. D_Andy_Whorewall

    D_Andy_Whorewall Account Disabled

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    snoozan.....Good example and advice. It's good to hear from a womens point of view, as us men can be single minded.
     
  8. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    the real problem with wife swapping is eventually you get her back.
    ;)

    no really though..
    not cool..
    I don't prescribe to the whole 'swing' lifestyle.
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    Why not - if it works for both parties (and the others you swing with) why not? Why is it not cool?
     
  10. dreamer20

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    I'd like to swap her for a new car. *Slap*:slap:

    Just kidding Mildred.:biggrin1:
     
  11. zaza

    zaza New Member

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    Swinging should only be done by couples who have fully discussed it, are both into it, and have set an agenda they both agree with.

    You have discussed it with your wife, and she has given you details of when she would find a foursome acceptable. You still have your concerns about her jealousy. If you persue this you are asking for trouble.
     
  12. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    just personal preferance sweet ;)
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    Cool 4 cats isn't always cool 4 dogs - I guess you're a dog, dawg :wink:
     
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