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I have a question for the women out there that needs an honest answer. I'm an average-hung guy, and my wife and I are looking to spice up our sex life. We've always had great sex, but we are enjoying a sort of "rebirth" of our marriage after 11 years and want to try new things. So, we are considering using a large dildo as part of our sex play. It's 11" long and 7"+ in girth. My question is about the girth issue -- I'm only 5.25", and I've always listened intently when women have talked about how incredible a thick penis feels. When I talked to my wife about using this toy, she was hesitantly receptive, then admitted that she was a little worried because if she didn't enjoy using it (we tried it briefly once many years ago and it hurt her a bit), I might feel bad for having her try it, but if she enjoyed it, I might feel inadequate. She described it as a no-win situation for her, but said that she does think she wants to give it a try.
So here's where I'm at. I have to admit I am a little worried that she will enjoy the girth so much that her mind will wander away from my equipment. It's not that I'm worried she'll prefer a dildo to the real thing, but it's a concern based on another guy she knows. She grew up with a good looking guy who has always had a thing for her. This guy once bragged that he's really thick. Something to the effect of "girls always say it hurts too much." In our third year of marriage, they talked about having an affair, but when they started fooling around, she stopped it and she came clean with me. Last year, he contacted her again and they emailed one another back and forth for a few months behind my back (we were going through a very rough time or she wouldn't have done this, so don't judge her for it- not that you would). Their emails were mostly innocent, but he did indicate at one point that he wanted to hook up and he tried several times to get her to meet "just for dinner." She put an end to all of this eventually, and we focused on our marriage and have made great progress.
I hate to admit that I'm so shallow, but I'm worried that she'll like the dildo a lot and it will lead her to think more of him. Honestly, were they just friends and none of this other crap had ever happened, I don't think I'd have a problem with her fantasizing about him, but under the circumstances, I don't want to deal with that. And yes, I know she may fantasize about him anyway, but I don't want to do anything to encourage that! And we were young when we got together, both pretty inexperienced, so since she's never been with a guy bigger than me, she probably believes herself when she says it wouldn't matter to her. But I'm scared that once she's had this big thing up in her, she'll start to think maybe it does matter.
On the flip side, I'm just like any other perv of a guy, and I'd love to see my wife writhing in ecstasy while I use the thing on her. I'm really into the idea if this other guy weren't lingering in the back of my mind and (god please no) her mind, as well. I hate that I'm so obsessed with this issue and that I allow it to cause me to question anything about myself, but it is what it is.
And one other question, just on technique -- if we use the dildo, will it be useless for me to make love to her immediately after we use it, i.e., will she be so stretched at that point in time that she won't even feel me. If it would be more intense for her, I'm fine with just getting her off with the dildo and some creative rubbing/licking/etc, but I suspect she will at some point want to switch the dildo out for the real thing. If she doesn't feel much at that point, I know she would never ask me to switch BACK, but if I know that she may not be feeling me, I can slyly suggest it so that she doesn't have to worry about bruising my ego.
Thanks for listening to the ramblings of an insecure husband. I look forward to hearing what people have to say.
So here's where I'm at. I have to admit I am a little worried that she will enjoy the girth so much that her mind will wander away from my equipment. It's not that I'm worried she'll prefer a dildo to the real thing, but it's a concern based on another guy she knows. She grew up with a good looking guy who has always had a thing for her. This guy once bragged that he's really thick. Something to the effect of "girls always say it hurts too much." In our third year of marriage, they talked about having an affair, but when they started fooling around, she stopped it and she came clean with me. Last year, he contacted her again and they emailed one another back and forth for a few months behind my back (we were going through a very rough time or she wouldn't have done this, so don't judge her for it- not that you would). Their emails were mostly innocent, but he did indicate at one point that he wanted to hook up and he tried several times to get her to meet "just for dinner." She put an end to all of this eventually, and we focused on our marriage and have made great progress.
I hate to admit that I'm so shallow, but I'm worried that she'll like the dildo a lot and it will lead her to think more of him. Honestly, were they just friends and none of this other crap had ever happened, I don't think I'd have a problem with her fantasizing about him, but under the circumstances, I don't want to deal with that. And yes, I know she may fantasize about him anyway, but I don't want to do anything to encourage that! And we were young when we got together, both pretty inexperienced, so since she's never been with a guy bigger than me, she probably believes herself when she says it wouldn't matter to her. But I'm scared that once she's had this big thing up in her, she'll start to think maybe it does matter.
On the flip side, I'm just like any other perv of a guy, and I'd love to see my wife writhing in ecstasy while I use the thing on her. I'm really into the idea if this other guy weren't lingering in the back of my mind and (god please no) her mind, as well. I hate that I'm so obsessed with this issue and that I allow it to cause me to question anything about myself, but it is what it is.
And one other question, just on technique -- if we use the dildo, will it be useless for me to make love to her immediately after we use it, i.e., will she be so stretched at that point in time that she won't even feel me. If it would be more intense for her, I'm fine with just getting her off with the dildo and some creative rubbing/licking/etc, but I suspect she will at some point want to switch the dildo out for the real thing. If she doesn't feel much at that point, I know she would never ask me to switch BACK, but if I know that she may not be feeling me, I can slyly suggest it so that she doesn't have to worry about bruising my ego.
Thanks for listening to the ramblings of an insecure husband. I look forward to hearing what people have to say.