Will you have biological children?

[MuscledHorse]

I reached the point a few years ago where I really wanted to ahve a a kid or two, but the problem I face being a gay male is that I'm not sexually attracted to women. So, unless I can find a lesbian with a turkey baster, that's not going to happen. I recently visited my cousin and his family in Iowa and had a great time with the kids. It makes me all the sadder I don't and probably won't have any of my own.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Frumious thanks for sharing even though it is a tough subject. :hug:

I reached the point a few years ago where I really wanted to ahve a a kid or two, but the problem I face being a gay male is that I'm not sexually attracted to women. So, unless I can find a lesbian with a turkey baster, that's not going to happen. I recently visited my cousin and his family in Iowa and had a great time with the kids. It makes me all the sadder I don't and probably won't have any of my own.

I'm not sure what it's like in your community, but in those where I've worked and lived there are families created from gay/lesbian relationships - usually involving artificial insemination. In fact, when I used to work in S. California, there was a clinic that provided this very service, or provided instruction for self-service, at a low cost for people who were gay but had an opposite sex partner to start a family with, so it is not entirely impossible.

 

[vince]

I love Lego. (except it hurts like a bitch when you step on it)

It's true as an Uncle or Aunt you don't have any of the disadvantages. But I don't agree you get all of the advantages.

I never would have got all wet nearly every night for four years giving her a bath.
Or been there the first day she took her first steps in the front garden and immediately ran out to buy a pair of shoes (Italian red patent leather!).
Or been there to teach her how to play first base.
Or re-learned trig.
Or had her tuck her head into my neck while we watched Star Trek and discussed who was nastier, Species 8472 or the Borg?
Or spent 6 months reading Lord of the Rings as a bedtime story when she was five.
and on and on....

I don't put anyone down for their choices regarding having kids. I just know it has been and continues to be, the best thing in my life.

 

[nakedwally]

I would love to have kids one day, but as far as biological kids are concerned it is impossible for me being HIV+ and all so maybe I could adopt or hire a surrogate mother

 

[B_JasonDawgxxx]

Matt wants children.But not till were in our 30"s.Im not really into it.But if they are his Im sure I will change my mind.But 1 thing for sure.A nanny is a MUST!

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

I love Lego. (except it hurts like a bitch when you step on it)

It's true as an Uncle or Aunt you don't have any of the disadvantages. But I don't agree you get all of the advantages.

I never would have got all wet nearly every night for four years giving her a bath.
Or been there the first day she took her first steps in the front garden and immediately ran out to buy a pair of shoes (Italian red patent leather!).
Or been there to teach her how to play first base.
Or re-learned trig.
Or had her tuck her head into my neck while we watched Star Trek and discussed who was nastier, Species 8472 or the Borg?
Or spent 6 months reading Lord of the Rings as a bedtime story when she was five.
and on and on....

I don't put anyone down for their choices regarding having kids. I just know it has been and continues to be, the best thing in my life.

Awww :hug:, loves it!
I used to have a toy called a 'light bright', it was popular in the 80s.
Anyway, I had a play room, and my mom got sick of stepping on these spikes for the light bright and told me to always clean it up after playing.

So one day I made this brilliant creation... I mean, the shit was fierce.
Come home from school the next day and my mom is vacuuming all my light bright spikes that I left on the floor and my creation. Old school vacuum cleaner, so I hear each one make *crunch, crunch, ding* sound like a register as it gets sucked in. Scarred for life. :biggrin:

 

[Phil Ayesho]

[*]Why or Why not?

at 23, my wife clearly wanted to have a baby.
In considering the idea... it was immediately apparent to me that no man who claims to love a woman could ethically deny his wife that basic biological yearning.

So I became a father

[*]Have you always known/felt that you would or wouldn't?

I really did not have an interest either way.... as a taoist... when my wife turned up pregnant... I just figured that that must mean its time to become a father.

[*]For those who will have or already have children, do/did you have a drive to procreate or is/was it social/religious or just the thing to do?

Its odd... up until the birth, no... I am a guy... it don't work that way... But when they were born there was some kind of switch thrown... I remember the first time I held my son my sense of smell became supernaturally intense...
TO this day I can identify my sons, their clothing, their cars, their things, by their individual scents.

It changes you... as I looked into my sons eyes minutes after his delivery... I thought to myself, " wow, if life is very good to me, this little person must witness my death just as I witnessed their birth"....

[*]Have your attitudes about biological children changed over the years? If yes, why?

I think I became far more aware of the real structure of human society and its propagation.
I know people who are very "green" and have avoided having children out their concern for the "earth"...
But when they make such ridiculous statements I just tell them they are full of it... that its just a stupid self aggrandizing rationalization for being self centered and not growing up.

There simply is no valid arguement to explain how educated affluent and environmentally aware adults NOT rasing similarly inclined children "helps" the earth in any way.
That leaves just the oblivious jackasses making babies... and how much do you think THAT generation will care about clean air and water?

The folks who say they donlt want kids cause they are too selfish are at least being honest about the reason.
And BTW, its a perfectly good reason not to have kids...


What I learned from parenthood is this...
You owe your entire existence to the existence of others... both those who came before you and whose sacrifices resulted in your very birth... and to the host of your contemporaries who help divvy up the task of making this while human society run to your benefit... enhancing your survival , enabling your quality of life.

no man is an island... you are a member of a social community and you derive benefit from that community.

And as such, you OWE your community, not only honorable conduct and right livelihood...
More importantly, if you are capable of raising decent children, you owe your community continued existence in the form of the NEXT generation of worthwhile human beings.

You owe your community to provide it with new members who are well balanced, well educated and capable of shouldering the task of community, themselves.

 

[vince]

Yeah had we Light Bright too and I don't blame your mother one bit for vacuuming it up! LOL.

 

[flaman]

I have 3 kids, and 6 grandkids, all from the oldest son. I guess he is trying to prove he has no "gay" traits in him.

 

[diamond]

I would love to have one child. I don't want more , for me just having the opportunity to be a mother is enough. I'd only hope for a healthy child, mentally and physically.

Having a child is the easy part, finding a relationship that can work within parameters and raising a productive, sane, and well adjusted child is just a different topic all together.:biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[Northland]

My one close call at becoming a father ended rather abruptly and sadly more than 30 years ago. I wasn't in the market for children at that time, and still am not (although if the baby had been born, I had full intentions of doing right by it). To the best of my knowledge and expectations of/for the future, I will never bring any children into this world.

 

[Deno]

I'd rather have robot children then biological ones.

 

[sdbg]

When I was in my late teens, I always figured that I'd go to college, find a good job, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. When I was 26, my best friend and I became involved, and I realized that I was gay. That killed the deal for me ever wanting to have kids of my own.

My best friend of 22 years had a daughter 13 years ago. They are like family to me, and I've seen the baby grow from 2 hours old up until the cute teen that she is now. The 3 of us hang out every weekend. It's the closest I'll ever get to having a child and family of my own.

 

[HyperHulk]

I've always thought it was my destiny to have kids. I'm great with them. I love them and they love me. Kids come easy to me, when they seem so hard for other people. But now, the older I get, I wonder if it will happen? I have it in my head that I want everything perfect when I have kids. I never want to struggle with money and I want to have a great home for them and a great environment. I'm afraid of having less for my kids. I'm thinking now, if I don't have a child biologically by the time I'm 45, I'm going to adopt.

 

[EboniGoddess]

• Why or Why not?
• Have you always known/felt that you would or wouldn't?
• For those who will have or already have children, do/did you have a drive to procreate or is/was it social/religious or just the thing to do?
• Have your attitudes about biological children changed over the years? If yes, why?

Thx <3

Will i have children? Yes, definately. I'd love to have some mini me's running aroung. They'd be spoiled rotten

I always knew I would have children but I refuse to have them at such a young age. I always told family I wouldn't even think about having children until I am atleast 30 (and maybe longer if i'm not married). Everyone thinks i'm crazy. Being my grandmother and grandfather has my mother (their only child) when they were 18 they even thought my mother was crazy when she didnt have me until she was 27 and married. I have a career to think about. I want me and my husband to be established before I get knocked up. I love children.....just not the snotty nose kids with vomit on their shirt.

How many? As far as how many probably two but I want both a boy and a girl so if I get stuck with two boys or two girls then I would likely have another. One of my best friends (a girl) was a scenerio like that. Her parents had two boys and her mother wanted a little girl so bad so they kept trying. They tried 1,2,3,4 times and all boys. That meant they had 6 boys. Then they said they would try one more time and if it wasn't a girl they would give up. She got pregnant again and thats how my best friend was born. I keep telling her she was the miracle child.:smile:

I couldn't imagine not having children.....just have to make sure its with the right guy

 

[Axcess]

Of course not . I don't think it is my destiny or that I was born for that role . Definitely not my thing.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Yes. Would be a waste of time if I didn't.

 

[B_jacknapier]

yes. i think it's a genetic imperative in my case

 

[Principessa]

Light Brite was around way before the 80's I had one when I was a kid in the early 70's. It was definetely one of my faves. Oddly my mom would never allow me Legos because of all the little pieces. :frown1:

Do you remember the song from the commercial?I think it went something like this: "Light Brite making thiings with liight. It's out of sight making things with Light Brite!" :biggrin1:

Awww :hug:, loves it!
I used to have a toy called a 'light bright', it was popular in the 80s.
Anyway, I had a play room, and my mom got sick of stepping on these spikes for the light bright and told me to always clean it up after playing.

So one day I made this brilliant creation... I mean, the shit was fierce.
Come home from school the next day and my mom is vacuuming all my light bright spikes that I left on the floor and my creation. Old school vacuum cleaner, so I hear each one make *crunch, crunch, ding* sound like a register as it gets sucked in. Scarred for life. :biggrin:

 

[FuzzyKen]

I have no biological children that I am aware of.

Some time ago, a legal precedent was set that was frightening. A man donated sperm to father a child somewhere in the United States. The child 15 years later found the biological father and because he was not rejected by the man who had served simply as a "sperm donor" when the kid had contacted him, the man found out the true meaning of "No good deed goes unpunished." He was hauled in to court and made financially responsible for the kid. This was in the Southeastern U.S. and I would question the sanity of the judge.

Now, there was a time that I would have absolutely said "No way Jose!" when it came to kids. In a sense I did have the task when my partner and I found a teenage Nephew who was being mentally abused by a younger and mentally ill Sister. We took the kid in and raised him as if he were our own child. There are children of all ages needing help and people who love them. There are numerous children inside United States borders and in many other countries that this board serves. If one is interested in doing child rearing, parents are more than needed.

I have never in my life been so scared as when I consented to do this. What I was taught by experience was that I was far more capable than I thought I was and that I was also capable of recognizing things others had seriously overlooked. I guess we never know what we can truly accomplish until we are placed in a position that we have to come through.