Winning Your Ex Back...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Cherkey, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. Cherkey

    Cherkey New Member

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    My ex and I, recently broke up... And it's driving me crazy.. We both agreed mutualy that we would take a break because we moved too fast, and that we had too many feelings for each other. Then like a week later I made a fool of myself.. Basically I told him I didn't want to take a break. And called him like 3 times at work.. And he got pissed. We talked once, and he said he would call me back... And now he won't respond to my text, nor calls. Today I sent him flowers.. So I hope that can show him how much I cared for him.

    I know I should move on... But I feel like I'm just giving up on something great

    So does anyone know a way of winning Exs back..?
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    I can't help you and I wish I could. It sounds like you are really hurting and pining for this person.

    It sounds like it may help if you backed off for a little bit, the ball is really in his court now.

    My first love and I continued just "being friends" and ended up in bed together regularly for several years after we broke up, while we both continued dating other people. We both pretended that we were being mature and that it wasn't a big deal, but it really just extended the pain of the break-up for years. Since that learning experience, I've never taken an ex back or toyed with the idea of re-establishing a romantic relationship once it has ended.

    I know some people have had success before, though, and every relationship is different.
     
  3. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

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    Give it some time (a month or more), and then call or otherwise contact him to see how he is doing. Don't go the high pressure route... if he sincerely wants a break, then pressuring him to get back together will drive him away.

    IMO anyway.
     
  4. Cherkey

    Cherkey New Member

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    Ya.. You two are right.. I just need to back off. But it's so hard. When you use to talk to that person every single day..
     
  5. lopo2000

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    Moving on is a tricky thing to do... When we're on the process of letting someone go, there's always a voice that gives a certain seemingly justified reason that we have to do something, then to do that thing, we have to reconnected with that person, then drama happens again... So, try to fight these voices because these are your subconscious wants...

    Time will heal you, I promise... Hell, it took me a year and half to get over one guy I fell in love with! But, I recovered now and even when bumping into him, I don't really mind not greeting him, though I'll greet him to be professional. It's just recently so keep in mind that it's perfectly normal to regret things and to miss things that you used to have with him, but then another sad fact is, it's over...

    Just talk to one of us in here if you feel like jumping on his bones again, and we're more than happy to 'slap' you... :)
     
  6. finsuptx

    finsuptx New Member

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    I can't answer your question as to how to get an ex back, but I'm pretty sure smothering him won't work. The multiple phone calls (at work no less) probably did more damage for the long term. If I were the ex, I'd be very put off by your actions after we had "mutally agreed to a break", and the flowers would have ended up in the trash.
     
  7. D_Andreas Sukov

    D_Andreas Sukov Account Disabled

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    Sort your shit out. Spend some time getting yourself together and dont contact that person unless they contact you. You will be more attractive to him and others if you dont seem desperate for him back.
     
  8. hud01

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    Sounds like this is bordering on stalking from his perspective. If he isn't answering you that is a clue to back off, not to try harder. You probably have damaged this beyond repair. Regardless, you need to give him his space for a month or more.
     
  9. nitsud

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    I am going through a brake up too and all I can do is think about him. What bothers me is, I don't feel like he is going through the same heart ache as me.:crying:
     
  10. bigbulgelicker45

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    It's easy to say just go about your daily routine but the fact is your mind will continue to play the relationship over and over again so it's best to try and stay as busy as you can.

    I'm just glad he's out of my life now.
     
  11. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

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    One thing you might look into is research on "pursuers" and "distancers" which in straight relationships more often than not are women and men respectively. Pursuers tend to bring up problems and complaints in an effort to "improve" or "resolve" things, while distancers feel that they are being hounded and harassed. Research has demonstrated that something called "flooding," in which the target of complaints/criticism feels overwhelmed with stress, often foreshadows the end of the relationship. Having been on both ends of this situation, I can only tell you to be mindful of its destructive nature.
    http://j.brandler.home.att.net/emotional.htm
     
    #11 D_Harvey Schmeckel, Mar 11, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2010
  12. D_Relentless Original

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    Spot on ^, i avoided every place and situation where we could have bumped into each other, it killed me, but i did it, you know what?, i am so glad i did, i would not want my ex back under any circumstances, funny thing is, you never really know someone until you split with them.

    Hope all works out well for you Cherkey, it will get better, seriously.
     
  13. ZOS23xy

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    Grow up and move on.
     
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