wish I wasn't gay!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sex101, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. sex101

    sex101 Member

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    first of I know I am gay and there is damn all I can do about it. I havnt really accepted it yet tho and I am not out, I havnt even been with a guy.

    Right now I would give nearly anything to be a regular straight guy, if only I could flick a switch! Is there ang other gay guys out there who would switch to being straight if it was that simple?
     
  2. Industrialsize

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    I wouldn't switch if you paid me.
     
  3. BBB2.5

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    No way ..not ever....I am very proud of who I am.
     
  4. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    Be proud of yourself. Love yourself. As a trans woman I understanding about dreaming about something you're not but I embraced who I am and now living an amazing life.
     
    #4 B_Nia88, Feb 7, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2012
  5. rbkwp

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    would suggest at your age, often younger many of us have / go thru what you are going thru matey, myself it was 16, then another period, 23-25 odd
    guess its a matter of just living thru it all...

    out there who would switch to being straight if it was that simple?

    and i would never change it either....
     
  6. Classylady

    Classylady New Member

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    I know from friends and family who are gay, most are quite happy, but I do have a few who lament over not being able to express themselves as they are not attracted to other gay men. This can be very frustrating, I myself couldn't imagine not being able to enjoy a sexy younger man who I find attractive, and when I discuss the issues of my gay friends with them and how they feel about it, the angst and depression can be overwhelming to them. I do my best to help them overcome society's unfortunate view of gay men and lend my support. It does help to join support groups where many discuss their issues and not just frequent gay bars where sex is the motivator. I do feel for your frustration, we live in a world where most say we are accepting and understanding and what one does in their bedroom should not define their whole life...but those who are closed minded will always be the majority, and we will need to deal with their morals as set upon us. Life is short, enjoy it, and never think changing is an option, you simply cannot flick that switch, rather...flick the switches you can control, and celebrate your individual unique self. We all are looking for happiness, and in a world where the grass seems greener on the other side, we don't realize the pain and heartache those around us may also be suffering. Good luck to you, I hope you find who you are in life, and allow yourself to be happy. PS, I saw your photos, and you are absolutely sexy as hell! If you were straight, I'd be doing everything I could to get you to come home with me young man!! WOW WHAT A BABE YOU ARE!! :) CL
     
    #6 Classylady, Feb 7, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2012
  7. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    sorry you feel that way but your dreaming of life in self hate. Being gay does not mean you have to broadcast it like a pride fest but you should at least accept it in yourself.
     
  8. Stephenmass

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    Not all that long ago, very late teens and probably even early twenties when I was very sexually active I used to think and say the very same thing 101. I would have done just about anything to "be straight" and I tried to also. I think it is very common when our sexuality supersurfaces to want to be str8 because it's not that we hate who we are by any means, but we wonder why we can't be like "everyone else". My guess is, for you to ask that question of yourself, you are the same way. In time, you will accept who and what you are, whatever that may be as sometimes that changes a bit also. But should you be 100% gay, the sooner you can embrace it, instead of hating it, will make you much happier. Not an easy journey, at least it was not for me. Now I know who and what I am, I am proud of who I am and I don't necessarily define who I am by my sexuality but rather who I am. I happen to be gay along with who I am. Beyond that I am just like everybody else and want the same things in life. I think you are a very nice looking guy; your problem will be who is full of shit to spend the night with you (if it's not what you seek) and who wants you for you if that is what you seek. All your choices. Wish you lived close by, I could have been an "ear" for you. If writing will help, feel free. Let me know what's going on inside.
     
  9. 11ish

    11ish Member

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    you are what you are, stop worrying about what you think you should be, and do what makes you happy, or pursue to what makes you happy. thats your first amendment right. pursuit of happiness.
     
  10. D_22

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    Man, this sounds like me years ago. From my own experience and what I've observed, you won't be happy until you allow yourself to be yourself.
     
  11. invisibleman

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    You may lose people that you love because you are gay. (GIVEN) People may not like you for who you are. (GIVEN)


    My life would've been a lot simpler if I were TRULY straight....maybe not. :confused:
    You think that you are the only one dissatisfied with the cards in life they have been dealt? You aren't.

    There are people sick in hospitals that wanna be healthy. There are people who want to walk again but cannot. There are black people that don't want to be hassled by racist white people. There are Jewish people that don't want to be hassled by anti-Semites. There are women that don't want to be raped or bothered by men. Everyone has problems with who they are. And you cannot control other people's prejudices and perceptions of you.
    (GIVEN)

    I say live your life with as much authenticity as you can. If you are gay, be gay. If you are straight, be straight. If you are bi, you are just fooling yourself...you are really gay.:biggrin1: (Kidding... YOU STAY BISEXUAL.)

    But I think in life...you have to learn to deal with uncertainty and be humble. Sometimes the road of authenticity is a lonely road. And popularity...you cannot afford to give up your individuality...being the person YOU WERE MEANT TO BE...NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S IDEA OF THAT.

    I am happy being who I am. I am happy being a man. A gay man. A black gay man. Yeah I am dissatisfied with my gay experiences...but I am also dissatisfied with my experiences dealing with some white people....some black people...some gays and lesbians...some straight peeps too. That doesn't mean I don't want to be human. Sometimes I don't want to have a heart because emotions are too much. But again...I have to have a heart...an authentic soul of my own. That is what makes me ME and your heart and soul makes you who you are.


    You should learn to appreciate what life you do have. Live and love consciously for yourself. You don't have to make large leaps. You can take baby steps.

     
  12. crescendo69

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    Good luck on your road to self-acceptance. I hope you find the support you need in friends, family and maybe support groups in your area, not just on the Internet. I have been a self-loather most of my life, and believe me, it is a destructive thing to you and those around you.

    Support groups and gay organizations may help you by providing good role-models who have already overcome some of the difficulties in coming out, as well as giving you a broader outlook as to how different gay men handle these difficulties. You learn you are not alone, and there are options in how to grow into an individual with a sense of self-worth.
     
  13. Daddy Lucas

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    The switch I wish I could have flipped years ago was the one that said: "Stop waisting time wishing you were someone else - go out there and embrace life! It takes life to love life!" Easier said than done but we all have the power to make it happen. You can do it - I did it! I have been with my man happily for 34 years now. If I would have accepted myself sooner, we could have been together even longer than that!!! Have a great journey, my man!
     
  14. sidney322462233

    sidney322462233 New Member

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    i agree with those who say you should celebrate who and what you are. only you for you. sometimes another can help you discover that switch of what is wonderful about you ... pletonically. find and embrace the adventure of you. it can be quite enlightening!
     
  15. Countryguy63

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    Why do you wish you were'nt gay? Maybe looking at the source can help us, help you better.

    So many people have gone through what you are experiencing. And it's not the same sex attraction that is the problem.

    I think if you really are honest with yourself, it's not being gay that you dislike, it's the challenges that come with it. And by "challenges", I mean the bigotry and homophobic attitudes that are out there.

    I know, it's easier to say"embrace it" than to do it. But, when you do, you'll find so much comfort and self appreciation that comes with it.

    Keep voicing your thoughts, accept those that are there to support you, and take those that don't with a grain of salt.

    Good Luck :smile:
     
  16. 1Cody

    1Cody Active Member

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    Thought I might be gay when I was younger. I found a hot chick that I really wanted and the sex was great. Today, I say I am pansexual attracted to beauty. They say sexuality is fluid and can change. I kind of agree with that. What is true today may not necessarily be true tomorrow. Also, as you go through changes, your focus changes. You want to be totally str8? Stop looking at the objects of your desires. I remember when I was very fit. Not to be arrogant, but my self image was up there and when I seen the Jean Claude Van Damme movies, he didn't even phase me and I didn't have any sexual attraction! So get busy and feel good about yourself. Self esteem though seems to be a buzz word, really is important.
     
  17. mask13000

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    First of all, you are not alone. I'm sure thousands of people are in your position, wishing they weren't gay. The way you feel isn't wrong.
    But you should concentrate on accepting all the parts of yourself. Stay away from labels if they make you uncomfortable. Focus on loving yourself. That said, being gay is awesome. I wouldn't change it if you paid me but I didn't always feel that way. Hang in there!
     
  18. angloblack

    angloblack New Member

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    I also wished I could flick a switch to be not gay. I had a lot of interest from women when I was younger and wished that I could satisfy them sexually. then I became paranoid about AIDS and became convinced that I would get it, and that the only way to avoid it was to become heterosexual. This led to anxiety and other mental problems, had to leave university, and was directed to several psychiatrists. The main psychiatrist would only say "there are no easy answers" when I asked her if someone who was gay could become not gay. She finally told me to get a job and a lover (I assume she meant male) and stay away from university. I got a job and met a beautiful tall man who was obviously interested in me, but I was uncomfortable with his on-the-job advances (plus other people got in the way) and we ended up never getting together. Then after that job I developed full-fledged mental illness as my anxieties grew worse. The mental illness caused me to be less interesting to men, plus had to live at home, so I had no love life and no sex life. When I became vocal about my sexual orientation after having hid it and being encouraged to come clean about it, people often said that they didn't believe I was gay (including my father) and said that I wasn't really gay. I, not having had any enjoyable gay experiences, seized these words and became more confused, as people were recommending that I try women. Up to this point I had never been able to have sex with women, had little to no sexual reaction to them. Then I found a woman from Ukraine with whom I developed a close friendship, and one night we fooled around in bed. There was no penetration, but for the first time I had a full erection for a woman, without having to think of a man. But it didn't last; I went back to being attracted to men, and we eventually split. I'm 44 now and still have never had a truly enjoyable gay experience, and still wonder whether I might not be better suited to women. But in the process of questioning my orientation I've wasted 20 precious years of my life, developed mental illness, had to leave university and lost career opportunities, and in general have ruined my life. Moral of story: please try to be happy with you as you are. Listen to your own voice, don't be swayed by people who disagree with you regarding your orientation. Enjoy being gay while you have the youth to enjoy it. With your good looks and sexiness you should find happiness with the right guy, or with lots of sex, whichever you prefer. Trying to force yourself to change who you are leads to unhappiness and potentially illness and poverty. If you discover you are really bisexual, then explore both sides of your sexuality, embrace it, and be happy with it. Try to be happy with yourself as you are!
     
  19. sexplease

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    no, i wouldn't. I revel in the challenges of life... and besides, no one can do as good a job at being me but me.
     
  20. sex101

    sex101 Member

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    Thanks for all the responses guys they are really helping me, maybe I can start to look at it differently, and grow to embrace it. In the past u had always hoped I would grow out if it. it might be a challenge but that's wit life's about.
     
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