I have noticed that lately when a new member listing 'female' comes on and asks anything sexual, many of the women here jump on the post(s) shouting 'fake, fake, fake!'
I don't like it.
I don't understand it.
Firstly, if these new female members are indeed female we (because I have done it too) are stomping on them, giving them no support whatsoever and undermining their sexual self-expression.
If they are men pretending to be women then there is an up side and a down side to leaving them be. Up side: they distract the horn dogs away from the real women who don't want that kind of attention. Down side: the way they represent themselves as female to the unsuspecting puts women in an artificial light and 'confirms' unrealistic expectations. Although, to my mind, the only men who fall for it are the kind that have those unrealistic expectations anyway and do not listen at all when real women try to set them right.
There are two reasons for me posting this. The first is to ask the women here to dial it back a notch on the witch hunts. The second perhaps undermines the first and that is to ask others opinions on my 'witch hunt' take on the situation. Am I over-reacting?
This is mostly gibberish, so bear with me, please. I can't speak for the women (or all the men) but I think there is bad blood between some people - a grudge; sometimes because of the 'witch hunts'. Some non-fake people in the past were accused of being 'fake' and hold hatred for the accuser(s). As a result, all those accused of being 'fake' (often by the same people) are immediately defended by the perceived past-victim(s) of that same 'anti-fake' group. This leads to an accidental rivalry (excluding trolls etc). Each group believes they are on the side of good and mean no harm, so are left with bitter feelings for the other - instantly dismissing anything they say (relating to fakers or not). The newly-accused take sanctuary with their 'defenders' who
can fill them with dislike for the 'accusers' and add to the problem. Sometimes, whether they choose to believe one side or not, they are left feeling isolated from the wider community - with the 'fake' label hanging over them, still aggravated by the occasional remark. For the thin-skinned, a light-hearted website turns into a battlefield and they often leave as a result.
I'm not myself at the moment, so you'll have to forgive me, but essentially I'm saying that 'witch hunts' can lead to site-wide problems. Anything ranging from name-calling, to calling black - white, just to oppose the other person. It would be wrong to assume either of these 'groups' (a term which I use loosely) is to blame, however - I'm sure the aforementioned 'rivalry' has extended to behind-the-scenes sniping and PM's; something mutual. I don't think women are the only ones to do this at all. Men are just as quick to shout, "Fake!" Paranoia has led me to suspect people are fake, incorrectly. I think it's good to be honest about your instincts, as long as you think carefully before making them public. If this reads as crap, it probably is. If so, I apologise in advance for my lacklustre posting. :smile:
