With Apologies to Clement Moore.

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Oliver_Clothesoff, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the site,
    Were pictures of penises, some black and some white.
    Some members were hung, some had shaved off their hair,
    Some members were women, posing totally bare.

    In the chat room could be found all the usual gang,
    Chatting and stroking and showing their wangs.
    Some had their cams on to let everyone see,
    Some don’t even have cams, which is okay by me.

    When there in the room someone new just logged on,
    And wrote ”Check out my cam. Have a look at my schlong.”
    Intrigued, I clicked on his cam right away,
    And the first thing I saw was the inside of a sleigh.

    The moon on the crotch of his suit, red and white,
    Was the next thing I saw on that cold winter’s night.
    Then what with my curious eyes did I see?
    But a boner that practically reached to his knee.

    He took it in his hand, it was hard as a brick,
    Then right there before me, started stroking his dick.
    I could tell he was looking at LPSG dames,
    ‘Cause he stroked even faster as he called out their names.

    “There’s cece and FancyPants, and SoCalBaybee, too,
    And SerialKisser and L_Lynn and Mademoiselle Rouge.
    And Tarameter and JessicaLovely that I love to watch,
    As I’m flying my sleigh and rubbing my crotch.”

    His dick was all veiny, his balls were quite hairy,
    While the head of his cock was as red as a cherry.
    I was impressed as I watched him pumping his fist,
    For his shaft had to be just as thick as my wrist.

    He sat pumping away, that jolly old elf,
    At his size I did marvel, in spite of myself.
    Before too much longer he finished his jerk,
    Then put things away and got back to work.

    His mic he had on ‘cause I heard the slight cough,
    Of him clearing his throat just before he logged off.
    Then I heard him exclaim “Merry Christmas! Good cheer!
    And I hope, unlike me, you don’t come once a year.”
     
    #1 Oliver_Clothesoff, Dec 20, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2011
  2. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    :hail::hail::biglaugh::headbang::lmao::lmao::haha::arms::crazy: Great work... You continue to amaze me...

    Can't top that but I'll work on something Christmassy ~ :biggrin1:
     
  3. willow78

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    :laola:

    :biggrin1: Olly, this was brilliant! :biggrin1:

    :arms: :clap: :arms: :clap: :arms: :clap: :arms:
     
  4. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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    The Real Story of the Candy Cane

    A long time ago, in a little village, lived a candy maker known to all as The Candyman.
    He loved making confections
    To win the townspeople’s affections
    For in the kitchen, he was quite the handyman.

    But there was a special someone for whom he lived for her smiles.
    His wife was a beauty, quite stacked and with curves that went for miles.
    He loved his dear wife with all of his heart for she was the source of his joy.
    He was hung like a horse
    With matching balls, of course!
    And more than anything, she loved to play with his toy.

    They were the perfect couple and their love was quite rare
    She had an oral fixation
    Which caused quite the sensation
    In their village, there could be found none to compare.

    The candyman wanted to make her a special gift one year
    He thought very hard
    (Then he got really hard)
    And then started grinning from ear to ear.

    He gathered the sugar, the flavorings and food color.
    Rolling out the sticks
    Making sure they were thick
    He made her a candy like no other.

    It was a very hard candy, “Like me” he said with cheer.
    Long, sweet and taste-ily
    He made it rather hastily
    But he knew she’d never forget Christmas this year.

    The colors were chosen with detail in mind
    The white simulated
    His cum she titillated
    And the red was their blood intertwined.

    The sweet taste of peppermint gave a lasting impression
    Of delectible joy
    As she licked the new toy
    And reminded her why she loved this fixation.

    Now he must come up with a name for this wonderful new treat
    His wife had a pet name
    For his cock ~ “Candy Cane”
    Such a fitting name, for this sweet representing his meat.


    *This is the TRUE story of the Candy Cane. Of course, when the Candyman started selling this treat in the store, his wife came up with the now popular version of the Candy Cane story. Yes… it is true… the one you grew up hearing is simply an old wives’ tale.

    Merry Christmas!!


    (Enjoy your Candy Cane)
     
    BUSTERHYMAN and Mellow like this.
  5. spoon

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    Merry Christmas! :naughty: :flirt: :dance: :smlove2: :hail: :banana: :headbang: :fest30: :newangel: :mischievous: :heart: :arms:


    :eek:uttahere:
     
  6. august86

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    OMG Oliver and Fancy! Hilarious! :notworthy:
     
  7. DickDarlington

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    lol that's hilarious!
     
  8. Oliver_Clothesoff

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    Verry funny, Fancy!

    I always suspected there was more to that story.
     
  9. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I'm late to the gave on this one. Every now and again i go to search my name and I find little jewels like this one. Thanks so much for making me smile!
     
  10. B_prettyswinggirl

    B_prettyswinggirl New Member

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    Great thread! Sorry i'm so late seeing it! Bravo!
     
  11. BUSTERHYMAN

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    great good one
     
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