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Woke up and realize "HELL NAH!"

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by blkbro510, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    Ladies and gentlemen have you ever woke up and realize that it was over. You didn't feel anything for that person anymore. You think forever and been with them for years but then you just wake up and there's no thing there!:eek:

    I still love the person but I'm not trying to see them any time soon. Am I wrong?


    One of my homies gave me this song today, but I need more than music. What is it that I'm going through cause I don't do this!

    YouTube - Keyshia Cole - I Changed My Mind
     
  2. Rowan Ravenseed

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    Its probably denial, chances are the relationship has been deteriorating for a while but you didn't want to face it becuase you feared to be alone so you buried it then one day your subconscious went "Hey mate you know being alone ain't so bad" So you've let go
     
  3. Darkriff

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    ^ what Rowan said. That's pretty much how I started to feel when I decided to get divorced, I was heading in that direction, but wasn't completely there yet. I just got tired of all the lies. After she lied to me one more time beyond that, that's when I knew it was time to call it quits. Nothing worse in this world than a fuckin liar.
     
  4. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    Yeah but usually when I fall away I get caught up in the spell of "we belong together. You are my soul mate. You are my everthing you know that right?" and I just fall for it. But now I'm feeling like "FUCK OFF BITCH!"
     
  5. fatddyslam

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    dont stay with her because you feel bad for her. if you care about her, stay true to yourself and break up with her. people who continue to date even after falling out of love or being frustrated just end up cheating on each other. dont fall for the trap.

    communication is key. be honest and she has to understand.
     
  6. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Agreed. I think what keeps a lot of people in bad or going-nowhere relationships is the fear of not being able to find (let alone envision) someone who is actually a good fit for you. We're pretty rough and unforgiving when it comes to perpetual singlehood, and once you get of a certain age, you are expected to foster something long-term, get married, etc. This has been an attitude I've been thrusting against for quite some time, especially since I'm not where I want to be career-wise or emotionally to go get hitched up.

    But you're right. "Waking up" to it isn't new, and whether it's deliberate or not, people are locked in out of fear. Same thing when it comes to switching careers or moving somewhere new -- the fear of the unfamiliar holds you back. You're afraid to make any ripples for fear of losing the "stability" you already have, whether it causes you grief or otherwise.

    You should use this time to get back into your own being and figure out what it is you truly want.
     
  7. B_talltpaguy

    B_talltpaguy Banned

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    You're simply maturing. Childish guilt trips aren't working anymore.... Give yourself a pat on the back bro, you just evolved to a new, better reality.
     
  8. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    Yeah I'm scared. I'm so used to it now I have to do something new, aggggghhhhh!!! I'm so used to her and her ways. Suppose I get caught up again and be her bitch again.
     
  9. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    Thanks man.


     
  10. naughty

    naughty Sexy Member

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    COngrats! That takes a lot of courage to break free. If you dont mind me suggesting this , the thing that really helped me on one of my moments was a book by Iyanla Vanzant called "In the meantime" It gets pretty real. I was of monumental help. She helps you take this time to work on you until the next time happens.
     
  11. D_Circumcisus Skinless

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    You are so good at talking to guys!!!!!, can you tell me something: for a site dedicated to the support and celebration of the Large Penis...why are so many Men here seem Broken in spirit, even the one's who say they have it all together!, you hear the same thing or a variation of the same thing voiced: a woman or Women were involved or is this all in my imagination?, well I hope I'm imagining it!
    Thank you Naughty!
     
  12. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    Okay cool I'll look into it. Thanks!


     
  13. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    I wouldn't call it broken in spirit its more going through a transition. As human beings we all hate change, especially sudden change.

    Secondly, the worst part about it as a guy ( or person, thus leaving it open to all genders) you really can't talk to your buds about it cause they are either "too busy" or think you are "bringing them down" or "bringing the drama". So we learn to just gave folks the happy face in life and keep shit to yourself.



    No wonder why these therapist are getting rich now a days. Thankfully there's this forum where you can just get someone to hear you out and gieve you some sound advice!





     
  14. helgaleena

    helgaleena Sexy Member

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    Do not do like that motorhead song, 'going back to the devil I know' too many times, that is all. Still if you have been with somebody that long it is almost as bad as a legal marriage, in terms of untangling your lives. Just tease it apart however long it takes to unravel. If you find yourself 'backsliding' admit it and let her know it up front, that you are still on your way...
     
  15. SpoiledPrincess

    SpoiledPrincess Sexy Member

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    Is it only me who finds it disturbing that this guy can talk in these terms about the woman he would have said was his soul mate only yesterday?
     
  16. wseattle

    wseattle Superior Member

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    bad obbsession by GnR is a good song for this topic
     
  17. Countryguy63

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    You have the wrong "Buds" Unless you are constantly going on and on about it, a true friend (Bud) will bethere for you in both the good times, and down times.
     
  18. D_Circumcisus Skinless

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    Hey I wasn't say you were broken in spirit as a matter of fact your the opposit of that, I was making an objective statement from the different threads I have read since being on this site!, my hat is off to you brotha, people have got to learn to bite back when bitten, and I see your already there, I was in a very similar position and I bit back! been lonly for a while too, but my peace of mind was and is way more valuable! and life is to short for BullShit!:cool:

    Peace my brotha!
     
  19. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    The soul mate was months ago--and it was from a conversation I was in on facebook and thought it would be interesting to get folks pointview on here. And it was a friends who seemed to be soul mates. This is not the same person.


     
  20. naughty

    naughty Sexy Member

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Awwwww thanks, BigD!

    just trying to add the "support" the name suggests...
     
  21. naughty

    naughty Sexy Member

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    Baby,

    it sounds like you need to get new homies. Friendship ideally should be a two way street. Those sound like acquaintances to me. The women and men I truly call friends can tell me about myself let me get mad and we are back in business the next day (Or maybe longer depending on how good a mad I worked up! LOL! ) I actually had one of my best female friends tell me while crying on my shoulder "Damn girl, I wish I could be a bitch like you, then I wouldnt keep getting messed over by these jerks" I had to crack up laughing over that one.
     
  22. blkbro510

    blkbro510 Admired Member

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    No I don't need new homies. I like you guys. You guys give some sound shit. The last time I talked to my friends I STAYED IN THE BULL SHIT! I'm not going back! So lets focus on me standing my ground and not becoming this woman's bitch again. Alright everyone lets focus on that part! For me please.
     
  23. naughty

    naughty Sexy Member

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    Thanks, sweets!
     
  24. SpoiledPrincess

    SpoiledPrincess Sexy Member

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    You say being her bitch but you don't really explain how she treated you badly?
     
  25. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I'd like to know that as well.
     
  26. B_talltpaguy

    B_talltpaguy Banned

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    Whatever you do, don't stay in contact with her at all, if you can avoid it. If y'all get along n shit otherwise, maybe you can be friends again later, but not for at least a few months. It sounds like you're better off going the c-ya-next-lifetime route, but that's your call. I'm not there at ground zero. lol
     
  27. willow78

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    I'm not going to give relationship advice but I can certainly give single advice. Forget about this person. If you stay with someone you don't really love, you will HATE your life - you won't be happy, and I truly believe that mental/emotional health can greatly affect physical health. You will be stressed out over this person. The thought of going home after work to this person will make you miserable. Instead of looking forward to the weekend, you will see it as a chore and dread spending 48 hours with someone you don't care for. Before you know it, you will be in your 50's or 60's, the best years of your life will be gone and you will resent the person you wasted them on.
    So I suggest you think of how much fun you can have as a single person. You can do all those things you wanted to do but they didn't. You don't have to do the things they wanted to do but you hated. You don't have to visit their parents/family that you don't get along with. You can spend more time with your buddies - I mean REAL buddies who will listen to your problems and not tell you they're too busy. Sure you'll miss the sex, but you still have your hands! :biggrin1:
    I would rather be happy alone, than miserable with someone I don't love. Don't feel guilty about leaving this person. You'll feel worse if you stay.
     
  28. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    change does suck. but it's gotta happen.i'm going through it as well.
    i've been single for two years now,and i try to work all the time i have to myself as best as i can.it can seem dark at times(i only know jump-offs/booty calls,no single available women)but stay positive,you'll get through it.
     
  29. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 Banned

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    I have never bought into the idea of a soul mate (seems like so much nonsense to me), so, no never have felt that way
     
  30. wseattle

    wseattle Superior Member

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    Just curious since i am a big canucks fan in seattle.. how did you become a fan of a team in NZ and canada while living in texas? peace
     
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