Woman are in charge most of the time in marriage.
- Thread starter B_tallbig
- Start date
Osiris
Experimental Member
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2007
- Posts
- 2,666
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 13
- Points
- 183
- Location
- Wherever the dolphins are going
- Sexuality
- No Response
- Gender
- Male
You are exactly right. I do NOT want all the duty that I am currently taking on, but I have no choice or I'd be up to my neck in dirty dishes, clothes, and soiled togs. My household is in a minor state of flux due to both of us accepting new positions, children in school, and baby trying to adjust to it all.
I agree, however I do have this humorous image of a woman handing a guy this velvet pouch saying...
"OK, you have one hour to fondle, scratch, whatever the hell you want to do, but I better get them back in the same condition I gave them to you." :rofl:
Holy shit...
Times REALLY must have changed, and the household I was raised in is a VAST contrast to the responses listed above.
Let it be known, that I will die a bachelor before I ever surrender to the effeminate-male phenomenon of the 21st century. I double-fucking dare a woman to attempt to use sex as a bartering tool with me. Anyone doing either of the above, shouldn't be married at all, and God-Forbid them having children.
I find it ridiculous that anyone would demand 100% submission from anyone, and also that anyone would ever be happy with such an arrangement.
Nevertheless, there are "chiseled-in-stone" gender roles that are going to incline one partner over the other, in governing a particular mechanism of the nuclear family. It's not some vast conspiracy to weaken or strengthen a woman or man's position in the household. It's nature. It IS what it IS.
SHAME on the guys who surrender their strengths to delight a woman. Shame on the woman who ignores her strengths to please a man.
Double-shame those who use physical/emotional extortion and blackmail to get a leg-up on their partner.
To the OP: I can assure you that this will never occur if I marry.
Carry on...
...OB
Times REALLY must have changed, and the household I was raised in is a VAST contrast to the responses listed above.
Let it be known, that I will die a bachelor before I ever surrender to the effeminate-male phenomenon of the 21st century. I double-fucking dare a woman to attempt to use sex as a bartering tool with me. Anyone doing either of the above, shouldn't be married at all, and God-Forbid them having children.
I find it ridiculous that anyone would demand 100% submission from anyone, and also that anyone would ever be happy with such an arrangement.
Nevertheless, there are "chiseled-in-stone" gender roles that are going to incline one partner over the other, in governing a particular mechanism of the nuclear family. It's not some vast conspiracy to weaken or strengthen a woman or man's position in the household. It's nature. It IS what it IS.
SHAME on the guys who surrender their strengths to delight a woman. Shame on the woman who ignores her strengths to please a man.
Double-shame those who use physical/emotional extortion and blackmail to get a leg-up on their partner.
To the OP: I can assure you that this will never occur if I marry.
Carry on...
...OB
Women are in charge in many marriages, some expect, want and/or need to be in charge. Some learned from their mothers, others come to it naturally, but I believe most women are in charge because their men want her to be in charge. Some men want, expect or need a mommy to tell them what to do; and there are men who will do anything for their women out of love or lust: therefore a lot of women are in charge by default; and many women find that to be a comfortable role.
Men do need to keep track of life insurance policies that have been placed on them and if they are worth more dead than alive.
Men do need to keep track of life insurance policies that have been placed on them and if they are worth more dead than alive.
We switched internet providers yesterday (wireless - not cable or DSL) and when they were done the guy handed hubby the invoice and hubby pointed to me with a smile and said "That's her area to handle...."....and the guy gave me the invoice.....
The other guy with him (both in their 20's) said "That's what I do.....my wife handles the bill paying".
I think with my parents, it was just part of what my mom did at home....not necessarily a control thing....just how some things fell to her to do and others to him.
They had one checking account their whole marriage and, as far as I know, there were no major issues.
Love your siggy, OmahaBeef......a fine tuned male body is a wonderful thing to observe......
The other guy with him (both in their 20's) said "That's what I do.....my wife handles the bill paying".
I think with my parents, it was just part of what my mom did at home....not necessarily a control thing....just how some things fell to her to do and others to him.
They had one checking account their whole marriage and, as far as I know, there were no major issues.
Love your siggy, OmahaBeef......a fine tuned male body is a wonderful thing to observe......
Oh but I do that to my wife all the time!I let her watch me shower nude and wiggle my dick with soapy water running off the head.When her motor is realy running I tell her to mow the yard.When she's done,as a reward for being a good girl I let her blow me!:smile:Now I'm gonna run cause she willl see this and I'll get my ass beat or probed!LOL!!!!
No I am not going to beat you. :wink: You'd just love that too much.:biggrin1:
But we will see who mows the lawn next time.:tongue::tongue::tongue:
A nice juicy cock hanging in front of my face is so tempting it does have an advantage over me. Guess I will have to use my big guns.:biglaugh::boobies:
You'll pry my free will from my cold dead hands. Anyone who thinks control has a place in a relationship outside of certain bedroom antics (you know what I mean) isn't really the type I want to have a relationship with.
Am I alone in thinking that a modern marriage should involve two people encouraging other to be the best they can be? To be supported in choosing their own path?
Only moral children, sociopaths and minarchists actually need more control than they think they do.
Am I alone in thinking that a modern marriage should involve two people encouraging other to be the best they can be? To be supported in choosing their own path?
Only moral children, sociopaths and minarchists actually need more control than they think they do.
That would be great but in reality most relationships arent balanced.
I think that in most homes woman are really the boss , in a minority of homes guys are really the boss and even in smaller minority the marriage is a balanced 50%= 50% .
It's actually really great in practice. Lots of couples I know do it, I've done it when I've been in relationships.
As for women being the boss, I think you're projecting your own experiences onto reality there. Really I think it's still only the control freaks of either sex and those who choose to live with them.
Quite often it's only people with personality disorders (for instance narcissistic personality disorder often leads to control freaks, mainly men) who actually affect real "control" over someone within a relationship. There is a difference between a lack of power balance and someone actually consistently exercising their power in a manner that could be called control.
Power can be used to support, it can be used to liberate and it can be used to protect. Somewhere along the line you have to *choose* (consciously or not) to control someone.
Mr. Snakey
Expert Member
Mr. Snakey
Expert Member
I think you are right bottombuddy ...
the heterosexual couples I know best are my own family
my dad is a real pussy and my mom barters sex for all those fancy useless things that women like to buy
my elder brother does whatever his wife says just to keep the piece in the sack
but
my younger brother
won't put up with it so he gets divorced and then the women get all the goodies anyway without him even getting the sex
of course there are also women who like to control all men everywhere at all times whether they are married to them or not ... they rule the roost here in canada
of course I know there are a few men who like to have control of other men but they generally dont use sex as a bargaining tool for that
and of course in centuries past there were some men like knox for example who liked to control all men and women everywhere at all times, but I'm prety sure that is all ancient history and that matriarchy superceded patriarchy in most english-speaking areas about a hundred years ago
I'm with OmahaBeef on this one.
I'm 35.
I've never been married and I don't have any kids.
After reading this thread, I am really beginning to think I stand a good chance of dying (of old age) as a bachelor and still no kids.
The last girlfriend broke up with me Thanksgiving weekend.
I'm too stubborn and too independent to have anyone even moreso a woman who I am supposed to love and she is supposed to love me, to boss me around.
To use sex or the withholding of sex as a weapon, that's just plain mean.
I would hope that if I ever do marry, I'll still have enough wits about me to NOT marry a woman like that.
I'm 35.
I've never been married and I don't have any kids.
After reading this thread, I am really beginning to think I stand a good chance of dying (of old age) as a bachelor and still no kids.
The last girlfriend broke up with me Thanksgiving weekend.
I'm too stubborn and too independent to have anyone even moreso a woman who I am supposed to love and she is supposed to love me, to boss me around.
To use sex or the withholding of sex as a weapon, that's just plain mean.
I would hope that if I ever do marry, I'll still have enough wits about me to NOT marry a woman like that.
Speak for yourself bud:wink:
I am certain, because I live by the following non-negotiable principles:
1) I am stubborn as they come, if I know that I am right.
2) I am open-minded when a mutual decision must be made, but will always go forth in what is logically right no matter what I want or she wants. My approval towards anything is never knee-jerk. Compromise in it's purest form. This would be in the event that children were involved. At the moment, I would like to delay this scenario.
3) If I am wrong about something, or weak in a particular area, I will concede my initial position without any bruise to my ego. I am very receptive to correction, if correction needs made. I don't give a damn who's right or wrong as long as the wisest move is made. Given that my actions are ruled by logic and reasoning...and not emotion...this is a rarity. For example, if my wife is a cardiologist, she will be the first one I listen to in the event someone is having a heart attack.
(Getting into the thick of things)......
4) I learned some time ago, as an ignorant boy, that if I shelve my better judgment to the pursuit of vagina, I will fall on hard times in a hurry.
5) I learned some time ago, through observation of men close to me, that if you relent your own wisdom and strengths to a woman, you will never get out of that rut as a man, and she will respect you less for it. Good luck EVER getting that respect back. Every passive man I know gets the proverbial "Cleveland Steamer" from their women at some point, and it baffles me that they wonder WHY.
6) I learned long ago, that female companionship is not the end-all, be-all joy of life. FAR from it as a matter of fact, and more often than not, is a general pain in the ass. I am an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs test, and it will tell you right off the bat that my type can run indefinitely without companionship, and we shy away from commitment.
Lastly:
7) I love sex. I love women. But not THAT much.
I have no shame in saying that since they are 51% of the population, there is a mathematical certainty that there is A) more out there and B) they typically can be upgraded from the last one. If my looks or overall appeal to the opposite sex takes a turn for the worse, then I have no problem with masturbation:biggrin1:...OB
Principessa
Expert Member
We already know my household was odd :tongue: but my parents have always had what I consider to be a good, strong marriage. In 41 years I have never heard them raise their voices to each other in anger. That does not mean they don't disagree, it just means they do so in a civilized and logical manner.
My parents are very old school, as is fitting for people in their late 70's. Both worked full-time, my mom was a kindergarten teacher, my dad civilian personnel at the local Navy base. They share a checking and a savings account; but mom has always had a separate savings account of her own at the teachers credit union. Dad knows about this and it's never been an issue. Mom pays the bills because dad sucks with money.
Mom had a more traditional role when home. She handled most meals and cleaning. She has 2 rules which she refuses to bend on: she doesn't cook on Saturdays and she only prepares one hot meal a day. This meant on cold winter mornings dad was the one who made my Cream of Wheat, or pancakes or whatever. It wasn't a big deal, he didn't make a big production out of doing womens work. Mom usually did the laundry but dad either ironed his own shirts or sent them out to be done.
Blocko mentioned the narcissistic personality disorder, add in a healthy dose of OCD and that's my mom. :biggrin1: That's why she has always been a clean/control freak. Perhaps it's a good thing my dad was raised on a farm during the depression, and later became a Drill Sargeant during the Korean War. A different sort of man may have given in to her infrequent though volatile tantrums decades ago. She has not managed to control or change my father though. :tongue:
It's not like a 1950's household, mom and I often mowed and edged the lawn especially after dads'back surgery. Raking leaves has always been a family affair because there were so damned many. We would get 30 big Hefty bags in the spring and the fall every single year.
Dad has always been an awesome cook! His Mozzarella Chicken and BBQ Spareribs are legend. He also makes a kick butt sandwich. Until about 8 years ago when he started having serious back problems dad took care of the major outdoor home maintenance and yard work. This is funny, when they lived in NJ my dad would always plant a garden that was about 20'x10' on the side of the house. He would add mulch to the soil and till it every spring, then put down black plastic so he wouldn't have to weed. Yet he hated harvesting the fruits of his labor!:tongue: So every day mom and I would go out to pick the vegetables. If we forgot to check the garden for a day or 2 we would go out to find zucchini the size of my calf and softball sized tomatoes if they hadn't already burst on the vine.
They each have a car and he is responsible for their maintenance. If either car needs major work he just tells my mom he's taking the checkbook that day to get the car fixed. No big deal.
Is my parents marriage perfect? No, I'm sure there are things each would like to change, I think thats normal. Is it 50/50? I'm not sure but it works for them and thats really all that matters. :smile:
My parents are very old school, as is fitting for people in their late 70's. Both worked full-time, my mom was a kindergarten teacher, my dad civilian personnel at the local Navy base. They share a checking and a savings account; but mom has always had a separate savings account of her own at the teachers credit union. Dad knows about this and it's never been an issue. Mom pays the bills because dad sucks with money.
Mom had a more traditional role when home. She handled most meals and cleaning. She has 2 rules which she refuses to bend on: she doesn't cook on Saturdays and she only prepares one hot meal a day. This meant on cold winter mornings dad was the one who made my Cream of Wheat, or pancakes or whatever. It wasn't a big deal, he didn't make a big production out of doing womens work. Mom usually did the laundry but dad either ironed his own shirts or sent them out to be done.
Blocko mentioned the narcissistic personality disorder, add in a healthy dose of OCD and that's my mom. :biggrin1: That's why she has always been a clean/control freak. Perhaps it's a good thing my dad was raised on a farm during the depression, and later became a Drill Sargeant during the Korean War. A different sort of man may have given in to her infrequent though volatile tantrums decades ago. She has not managed to control or change my father though. :tongue:
It's not like a 1950's household, mom and I often mowed and edged the lawn especially after dads'back surgery. Raking leaves has always been a family affair because there were so damned many.
We would get 30 big Hefty bags in the spring and the fall every single year. Dad has always been an awesome cook! His Mozzarella Chicken and BBQ Spareribs are legend. He also makes a kick butt sandwich. Until about 8 years ago when he started having serious back problems dad took care of the major outdoor home maintenance and yard work. This is funny, when they lived in NJ my dad would always plant a garden that was about 20'x10' on the side of the house. He would add mulch to the soil and till it every spring, then put down black plastic so he wouldn't have to weed. Yet he hated harvesting the fruits of his labor!
:tongue: So every day mom and I would go out to pick the vegetables. If we forgot to check the garden for a day or 2 we would go out to find zucchini the size of my calf and softball sized tomatoes if they hadn't already burst on the vine. They each have a car and he is responsible for their maintenance. If either car needs major work he just tells my mom he's taking the checkbook that day to get the car fixed. No big deal.
Is my parents marriage perfect? No, I'm sure there are things each would like to change, I think thats normal. Is it 50/50? I'm not sure but it works for them and thats really all that matters. :smile:
Similar threads
