My Ideal Woman:
One that understands the VALUE of my used Car Parts
One that knows the value of that 1987 Grand National with no paint and no motor.
One that realizes my car lawn ornaments isn't a junkyard but a symbol of my wealth.
One that understands that it's not the drag racing, but the nitro methane in the air that makes us giggly.
One that doesn't expect me to watch Home and Garden TV and listen to Love Stories on the radio - all the time.
One that doesn't put on 10 tons of makeup, and leave a hair spray ozone in the bathroom. (This can be lethal with flattulence and a spark)
One that doesn't leave that curling iron on all the time. (Hence the spark)
And finally....
One that loves me for me, and not my 87 Grand National.