naughty said:
Doc,
I guess I must be naturally mean, because the idea of faking never even crossed my mind! If you werent hitting it, I probably would have felt like giving you a RUPAUL line, "You betta work!" LOL! No but seriously, I would think for sheer male bravado alone the man would want to know when he wasnt hitting the spot!
I absolutely agree with your approach. Which is why it always confuses me, when I hear these stories about women that just fake all the time. And this bit about being kind. Don't worry, men like me like to know when we aren't hitting the spot, then we can find a way to do so.
I remember way back when it was my first time. And as I had mentioned in earlier posts, I didn't need to be a genius to figure out that it sucked for myself and the girl at the time. But I could never have known how much it sucked, because it was a one shot deal, and we never discussed it.
Now when I am with someone new, I never plan that I'm going to see stars the first night, I realize the first night can never be the best night. It might be good, it might even be great, but good sex takes practice. Regardless of how good it was the first time, it always gets better. But to get it better you got to ask questions, or you've got to figure out the spots on a person some how. So for me, good sex is completely related to good communication.
That's why I'm so confused with women that fake, it's almost as if they don't want good sex. Its as if they just want it over with. And if they did, why go back to the guy. Funny cycle.
Now going back to the subject. I asked my current GF about this, and she simply said that at the time, she hadn't had an orgasm for years. And to save on the effort of trying to explain to guys why not, she simply faked. I understand, but I find it so unfortunate for her. That any one of those guys, if she had said something, might have done something differently, and she might have been satisfied a second time around.
As a certain type of guy I have three goals in the bedroom. Have a good time. Make my partner come. Make myself come. Usually in this order. I'm usually not upset with the end result unless all of these don't happen. Sex is just as fun as a light activity, as it is a deep activity.
If you look at it from the opposite point of view, and I were a women, and these were my same objectives, then it would make sense that coming is not my priority, but why I lie about it. As a man I certainly don't think about lying that I came or not when I'm with a new woman.
It obviously is just an insecurity issue, but it just irritates me that it is so widespread. Cause it doesn't need to be.
