woman

SpeedoGuy

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...but men will keep it to themselves and act how they see is accordingly (unreasonablly) without saying why

My experience was that sharing feelings, thoughts, or just about anything more than jokes with other males will quickly get a male labeled: pussy, fag, needy, nerdy, stupid, weak, ugly, etc. Is it unreasonable to want to avoid that type of treatment?

So, out of a sense of sheer self-preservation, men learn to do as much as possible alone and not ever admit to needing help on anything unless absolutely necessary. That kind of life training is difficult to reverse, even if men wanted to.

MEN are the confusing ones. They willn never tell you whats really going on i their head until its to late

See reasons above. Women claim to be more community oriented and seem to thrive on sharing feelings, needs, etc. Men are shamed for the same behavior, by women as much as by other men.
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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My experience was that sharing feelings, thoughts, or just about anything more than jokes with other males will quickly get a male labeled: pussy, fag, needy, nerdy, stupid, weak, ugly, etc. Is it unreasonable to want to avoid that type of treatment?

So, out of a sense of sheer self-preservation, men learn to do as much as possible alone and not ever admit to needing help on anything unless absolutely necessary. That kind of life training is difficult to reverse, even if men wanted to.



See reasons above. Women claim to be more community oriented and seem to thrive on sharing feelings, needs, etc. Men are shamed for the same behavior, by women as much as by other men.

True that no woman wants a man who fails into a crying heap at the first sign of confrontation, trouble etc but i really do think the Neanderthal thinking of men having to be the 'strong' one is disappearing, which is a brilliant thing.

I have als been in the situation where i have been in the beginnings or a relationship and have called it to an abrupt holt because ive seen the Jekyll & Hyde side of him. With me he is very sensitive, caring, sharing and then out with mate he turns into a chauvinistic asshole. There needs to be some point where a man is secure enough in himself NOT to feel the needs to change to be "one of the boys"
 

titanya

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The only danger I can think of is when one of my female friends begins to develop feelings that go beyond friendship, which really does tend to complicate things. Then I have to navigate very gently to preserve the friendship, while not encouraging the romance.
But men do this too... I know quite a few men that have gone beyond the 'platonic' level and wanted more from a friendship when it simply isn't going to happen... as with all things in this discussion, it works both ways and it's unfair to make sweeping generalisations about either sex.
 

B_coldstoli

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First, everyone is an individual, so stereotypes always cause trouble.
I have known men who understand women. They tend to really love women, and, they have more women friends than men friends. They tend not to go "out with the guys" or be obsessed with sports, or live the stereotype of the emotionally shut-down man. They tend to be complicated, cultured, sophisticated, witty, easy to talk to...and very interested in their women. And yes, this may be a stereotype, too. But I know a few men who do understand women...they are always a delight, and sometimes dangerous.>>

marvelous. I don't think I've ever seen such a perfect idealization so unkowingly conceptualzed.
 

B_tallbig

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Is a fact that most guys actually dont understand woman.Most of the guys that tell otherwise are lying.
 

SpeedoGuy

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There needs to be some point where a man is secure enough in himself NOT to feel the needs to change to be "one of the boys"

There were very few circumstances where I bent to conformity just to please others. I was always secure enough in my own feelings and individuality to be my own person, particularly when it contrasted with the pressure just to be "one of the boys." I even dared express that a few times.

I ended up spending a lot of time alone.
 

Love-it

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I don't view women as being more complex than men, but I realize that I can't follow their nuances or trains of thought and just accept and honor them for their ability to handle their side of the biological bargain.