Women alone in restaurants

[ManlyBanisters]

Maybe, but I'm there are plenty of other, equally valid reasons too.

Oh there are! - Many! :biggrin1:

Me too, but only at lunchtime, perhaps because for me dinner is a shared meal so eating it alone underscores that I am in fact at that time, alone.

I guess I don't have that 'shared meal' association - Sunday lunch was only guaranteed 'ensemble' meal in my household as a kid, not exclusively - but the only guaranteed one.

Weirdo.This seems to be 'female' thing though I'm sure many will disagree.:tongue:

I only know 1 other person who is enthusiastic about the cinema as a solo expedition, and he's not female :tongue:

I'm not afraid of my own company at all. I have done a lot of travelling and then different rules apply. When travelling interaction with others is part of the reason for travelling. At home I don't usually feel that way.

Well exactly - many people are comfortable with their own company and yet do not like dining alone (at all / depending on circumstances) - that is what I was saying - I don't believe that is a factor. You're comfortable eating alone in a restaurant at night as part of the travel experience - I am comfortable doing the same regardless of whether I'm travelling or not. Interesting difference.

I just prefer, on the whole when in the presence of my own company, to do be physically alone. Naturally that's not always possible. Maybe I'm the weirdo.

Well - doubltless, but not necessarily for that reason.

Generally speaking I find the experience of being alone in a crowd (context aside) a positive one. I've been to festivals, concerts, recitals, fairs, theatre, street parties, clubs, pubs, galleries, etc. alone - I nearly always enjoy. Admitedly in a different way than I enjoy doing the same things with friends or a partner - but not any less. I dunno - gives me the oportunity to observe and learn and I take in things differently when alone, not only the event but the way others react to it. I do Gonzo journalism in my own head :redface:

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I love dining alone, I think it's relaxing... I'll normally bring a book with me, though.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

I also like dining alone.
I've never had a problem from staff,thinking it's strange or anything.
I have eaten alone since I was thirteen or so and for me it's a long standing habit.I usually have a newspaper or occasionally a book,to
entertain myself,if neccesary. I just like being by myself,alone without having to keep up a conversation if I don't feel like it!
I've enjoyed,movies,concerts,dancing,going to clubs,all sorts of activities by my self. Mr. Ed on the other hand hates being alone,or doing anything by himself! I don't quite understand not wanting to be alone.
I cherish my time alone.
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[Principessa]

you should then change your sex behavior in your profile :wink: Trust me he is 100% heterosexual male. :wink:

never happened to me, sometimes I go seat by the bar during the summertime when lot of people are around and until I finish the first (heavy) drink I don't feel that comfortable...
I think in my case is some sort of what somebody calls "social phobia" or, as I call it, "not a lot of self esteem" but I definitely prefer to have somebody sharing the table with me, I love to talk :biggrin1:] It's different for men. Nobody raises an eyebrow at a man dining alone, regardless of the time of day or caliber of restaurant. Women especially at dinner are expected to be accompanied or escorted by a man.

I love dining here because the food is devine and the evening menu is diffrent to the lunch menu.

There seems to be a real social stigma attatched to dining of an evening by yourself. I almost felt like standing on my chair and announcing to the room that I was here by myself and I wasn't stood up by a date.

I know what you mean, it's a classic double standard.

I was joking.

Well if you dine out garbed as you are in your avatar; I could see how you may get tired of fending off the horny hordes of women. :wink: :tongue:

I think that's one of the best aspects of traveling...getting to experience new foods. It would suck to get food poisoning while on a trip though.

When traveling for pleasure I agree; but for business I just couldn't take the chance unless I didn't have a program scheduled the next day.

 

[Quite Irate]

I like eating alone, but whenever I go to a nice place alone dim-witted men make the mistake of thinking that I'm approachable.

 

[B_Italian1]

Do any other women feel uncomfortable going to restaurnts at night by themselves?

I don't think it's just a female thing. I've never dined out alone at night. I have at lunchtime. I'll usually read a newspaper while I'm eating.

It was a very uncomfortable feeling being there on my own, and I don't think I will be dining there alone at night again.

I would feel too weird sitting alone in a restaurant waiting for my dinner. You can't stare at people, and you can only stare off into space or look at the table for so long. Lunchtime is different. There are a lot of people alone and in a rush to get back to work.

 

[dong20]

I know what you mean, it's a classic double standard.

How so - I mean what's the other side of the standard? Is this the gender side to the situation, for men it's OK but not women, and thus are looking to be 'picked up' - like in bars?

I'm not agreeing it's OK or true, just saying it's a common sentiment.

 

[D_kvng]

nothing better than eating alone in a fine restaurant, nice glass of vino, taking it all in, making up fantasy's about the fellow diners, US is a great place all singles speak, try Europe, Middle East and differing cultures and languages. Females I realize can be uncomfortable, however come on your chatting in this group!

 

[lwd]

There was an episode of Frasier where his date flakes on him and he dines alone and is very insecure about it. One mishap leads to another and he ends up leaving the restaurant prematurely with a big wine stain on his tie...

Dragon, if you feel that anxious about it:
1) Is there a nice bar area where you can dine there (most fancy places in the US will have one), experience the different menu, and not "feel" alone?
2) Are you willing to come at an earlier hour (say 6PM) to reduce the social stigma, as it's not a prime hour?
3) If you simply want to enjoy the food, can you order your meal to go? I know for a fancier place "pick up" might seem a little weird, but you would be surprised at how many nice places there are where you can still order your food to dine elsewhere...

 

[B_cigarbabe]

I would feel too weird sitting alone in a restaurant waiting for my dinner. You can't stare at people, and you can only stare off into space or look at the table for so long. Lunchtime is different. There are a lot of people alone and in a rush to get back to work.

I can't imagine why, you would'nt be able to stare back ,at the people who are staring at you. Is this some set rule, about dining alone at dinnertime?
I don't change my behavior in a restaraunt,simply because of the time of day, or that I'm by myself.
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[rob_just_rob]

I seldom dine alone - when I do, I'm not eating for enjoyment, but merely because I need sustenance. So the dining process is usually boring, mechanical, and over quickly (I had an ex like that, too. Ba-da-bum.).

 

[earllogjam]

I seldom dine alone - when I do, I'm not eating for enjoyment, but merely because I need sustenance. So the dining process is usually boring, mechanical, and over quickly (I had an ex like that, too. Ba-da-bum.).

Is that why single people eat so fast? I've noticed this trend at dinner parties.

 

[Irish]

As a straight, taken, guy, I'm sure I can add just slightly more than nothing to the topic...

I don't mind dining alone. I generally have plenty of things to think about so I'm not bored, if anyone approaches me for any reason I don't have much trouble dealing with it, and I don't have to feel bad if I don't have anything to say to whomever I'm with at the time.

When I see someone by themselves I usually approach with extreme caution if at all. If they look bored (but potentially interesting) I might ask if they want any company/mind if I join them. This isn't just something I do when I see an attractive woman, I've wound up having random meals at various restaurants with total strangers. Sometimes it works out well, other times it's maybe just a few comments from a table away, sometimes I just mind my own business.

In any case, I don't see a woman any differently if she's dining alone - other than potentially stronger than I might if she were with someone, but that's very circumstantial, as well.

 

[B_Italian1]

I can't imagine why, you would'nt be able to stare back ,at the people who are staring at you. Is this some set rule, about dining alone at dinnertime?
I don't change my behavior in a restaraunt,simply because of the time of day, or that I'm by myself.
cigarbabe:saevil:

It would seem odd to me to walk into a restaurant at dinner time and ask for a table or booth for one. Mostly everyone in there would be in pairs or more. Another person mentioned there's only so many times you can rearrange your silverware while you're waiting. I tend to agree. I would feel self conscious and not know where to look. Lunch is different. People are kind of in a rush--in and out--and back to work. You see many people alone.

 

[Pirate Wench]

I never eat alone in a restaurant whether it's high end or just fast food.

I would rather eat in my car than in a restaurant alone.
I get take out, and take it home.

If I had no choice, I'd definitely have a book with me and....having the extra chair(s) removed is a good idea !

 

[D_tfyjcghcf]

Since becoming suddenly single 3 years ago, I feel that its imperative for me to dine out in a nice restaurant alone. I enjoyed it when with a partner so why let it go when the relationship ends?

It has taken practice though but is now worth it. Do persevere it is really a nice new experience once you lose the hang ups. I now feel a big boost of confidence knowing I can walk into any eatery anywhere in the world and have a nice meal.

Here are some tips:

Take something to fiddle with -- not a book, it makes you "hide" which is shy behaviour and makes you feel reclusive. Mobile phone to fiddle with is good, something interesting like a sketch pad to doodle is better.

Chat to everyone - as many people as you can - waiters, next table etc it is amazing how many people feel sorry for you and will help you or even buy drinks! You can always ask the staff to help if you feel uncomfortable - they are always happy to help a single woman diner.

Really enjoy your food - it is so much more enjoyable without someone else wittering on whilst you are tasting your food!

Celebrate your freedom and show it to others, it may help to inspire them.

Enjoy! The world is yours after all.

I don't like to rely on others or be constrained by their needs, if I want to eat a decent meal at any time I do!

T
x

 

[earllogjam]

As a straight, taken, guy, I'm sure I can add just slightly more than nothing to the topic...

I don't mind dining alone. I generally have plenty of things to think about so I'm not bored, if anyone approaches me for any reason I don't have much trouble dealing with it, and I don't have to feel bad if I don't have anything to say to whomever I'm with at the time.

When I see someone by themselves I usually approach with extreme caution if at all. If they look bored (but potentially interesting) I might ask if they want any company/mind if I join them. This isn't just something I do when I see an attractive woman, I've wound up having random meals at various restaurants with total strangers. Sometimes it works out well, other times it's maybe just a few comments from a table away, sometimes I just mind my own business.

In any case, I don't see a woman any differently if she's dining alone - other than potentially stronger than I might if she were with someone, but that's very circumstantial, as well.

I have sometimes reluctantly shared a table with a stranger when I'm in a rush and the wait for a table was going to be long but 9 times out of 10 it feels awkward like a forced date and I rarely enjoy my meal.

It's a sharp contrast to skiing alone where you get to cut in long lines, ski at your own pace and exchange pleasant conversation only as long as the chairlift ride.

 

[185248]

Maybe you were missing what is contained in your signature . All of us need a little solitude now and then, for some reason when we choose to do it in public at places like restaurants, it's looked on as a mystery. Why? Why is that person eating alone?......human curiosity can be worse than a cat at times.

 

[The Dragon]

You might be right vibrationzzz,
Lots and lots of red wine and red meat, but no red blooded man.
One day it might happen.

 

[185248]

You might be right vibrationzzz,
Lots and lots of red wine and red meat, but no red blooded man.
One day it might happen.

Maybe I am right Dragonfly. One day it will happen. You posess a very strong soul, a noble one I may add. It takes a little longer for another soul that matches yours to find you.