Women Aren’t Supposed To Fart, They Say

[Scarletbegonia]

And we had a great comic in Ask a woman where a postcoital couple are lying there and she asks when he is going to sleep so she can fart.

which led me to...
What is the etiquette of effluvium?

 

[ArtAppreciation]

No idea. I slept in a separate room from the ex (he snored) and he also farted. More than me I would say.

My farts are dealt silently, under the covers, and they happen rarely. Ninja farts. I did become a vegetarian two months ago, so I think that may have helped my future fart etiquette.

I love it when I have to go to Google new words like effluvium

 

[Rewardheragain148]

The digestive system has no etiquette my ex would let em rip.

 

[MickeyLee]

We know every horrible and embarrassing thing about each other. Farts are not a deal breaker.

I prefer a controlled release, sex toots and random poots can be awkward depending on the timing and power level.

The doggo farts are more of an issue. Spaz almost made the boy leap from a moving vehicle. I had a cold at the time which made it easier to appreciate the comic elements of the moment. Spaz was very proud of herself.

 

[T_Lurch]

It seems to be a more male thing to fart freely and openly. Some have no etiquette whatsoever; we used to have a dude who worked with us who'd fart with aplomb and panache. His favorite thing was to let loose at the time clock when everyone was in line waiting to clock out. Silent but violent. You'd know because a stench would assail your nostrils that could strip the varnish from a footlocker. Cries of "what the fuck" and "dayum man!" would fill the air and he'd giggle, proud of himself.


I try to hold it and go to another room, but according to the wife, I toot quite mellifluously in my sleep, to which I reacted with horror the first time she told me.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

My guy gets so excited when I fart.

Generally I'll excuse myself to the other room, but on rare occasion I just don't care I'll throw one his way and make his day.

He says I get pretty noisy in my sleep sometimes too. I just tell him "you're welcome".

 

[Scarletbegonia]

We know every horrible and embarrassing thing about each other. Farts are not a deal breaker.

I prefer a controlled release, sex toots and random poots can be awkward depending on the timing and power level.

The doggo farts are more of an issue. Spaz almost made the boy leap from a moving vehicle. I had a cold at the time which made it easier to appreciate the comic elements of the moment. Spaz was very proud of herself.

Or cat farts.

 

[MickeyLee]

Hi, my name is

Or cat farts.

One of my orange boy's nickname was given to him on the eye-watering potency of his toots. Wasabi farts.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Well, four years in, he finally got to the “so what if I accidentally fart?” point.
I guess a week of urinal emptying got it through his head that incidental doesn’t bug me.
But we both try to leave the room, but the sneakers? Oh, well.

there was one night where I left a tunnel in the covers for escaping gas. We ordered out...

 

[T_Lurch]

Well, four years in, he finally got to the “so what if I accidentally fart?” point.
I guess a week of urinal emptying got it through his head that incidental doesn’t bug me.
But we both try to leave the room, but the sneakers? Oh, well.

there was one night where I left a tunnel in the covers for escaping gas. We ordered out...

there was one night where I left a tunnel in the covers for escaping gas.

,
AKA the Greek Sauna or Dutch Oven. It varies for different people but a major culprit seems to be Italian food or Mexican.

They're just something we all do and can't help. My German shepherd Boo Boo (rest his soul) would let loose some eye-watering bottom burps. Seemed to happen when I'd put a bit too much steak drippings in his dry food. He loved it, but the barking spiders that ensued always told me when I overdid it.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

So, I just asked him if he ever smells my sleep farts.

He giggled and said "fuckin A I do".

 

[Enid]

I'm not with anyone and haven't been for a while, but Bob's (the orange cat) farts can be a petty big deal. I just deal with them. He's my big boi, I don't care if he lets out a toot that smells like wet Doritos once in a while.

I wanted to try and answer the real question about it though. My last lover and I would laugh at our occasional flatulence. One time we dissolved into giggle fits because it happened like in stereo. He farted, I farted.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I was raised that bodily reactions were never to be a cause of shame; however, we were to excuse ourselves, if possible, or, at the very least, say excuse me, just as if we had burped.

I have raised my own sons with the same etiquette.

A "prim and proper" spinster and "pillar of the community" told me that she was highly offended, when my sons farted in her presence.

I said that I was highly offended that she did not pull her shades down, when she used her toys from her "goody drawer". I added that the whole neighborhood knew this, and the kids often watched. She pulled the weirdest face, which went as pale as a corpse, upon realizing that everyone knew "her secret".

Her house was up for sale two days later. She moved, and we never heard from her again. I wonder if it was something that I said.

 

[Mittimer]

My husband and I have an open toot policy. I am lactose intolerant and until I learned that things like Lactaid existed, it was a bad bad time in my gastrointestinal life. I would have literally blown up or ran out of the room every few minutes. It took a good while into our relationship for me to be ok with open toots, but whatever lol .

He tells me that I will often pass gas in my sleep and giggle like the insane person that I am. I believe him, I'm mature enough to admit that I'm immature enough to find farts funny, even in my sleep.

Love you, @Mr_Mitt.

 

[622675]

And we had a great comic in Ask a woman where a postcoital couple are lying there and she asks when he is going to sleep so she can fart.

which led me to...
What is the etiquette of effluvium?

A health magazine reported that the average person (male / female) would fart 10-15 times per day. Odor is most often connected to kinds and amount of protein one eats.

**As for etiquette, here is about the best response I have ever heard.

The story goes that a young Asian bride and her husband were having a sexual romp when she produced a resounding high-pitched toot.

Having been raised in a very “appropriate” culture where embarrassment for the “other person” was always to be avoided, she simply smiled at her partner and said in a happy voice, “front hole so happy, back hole whistle”.

So fart with pride. It’s a happy sound.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

He tells me that I will often pass gas in my sleep and giggle like the insane person that I am. I believe him, I'm mature enough to admit that I'm immature enough to find farts funny, even in my sleep.

Yup, he did tell me after I asked him if he ever smells my escapee's in my sleep that sometimes I'll settle in and make happy little noises after a nocturnal-toot. Sometimes with a giggle.

 

[Mittimer]

Yup, he did tell me after I asked him if he ever smells my escapee's in my sleep that sometimes I'll settle in and make happy little noises after a nocturnal-toot. Sometimes with a giggle.

Good to know I'm not alone in my farty giggles lol

 

[Holly Doors]

My man passes more bottom gas than me however I'm not immune Lol, firstly I suffer from Megan Blase syndrome and have certain digestion issues which means I do often have a lot of gas myself. With me tho the gas mostly comes up than having to pass bottom burps, I belch a lot, a hella lot and often pretty damn loudly but it's something I can't help.
I think having the condition has meant I'm more understanding of other people when they need to pass wind whichever form it takes, in our household there's no shame in such bodily functions.
I do understand how strangers might get offended when say I was in a restaurant and a big loud belch comes up but I do sometimes explain if it's necessary.
At home my fam know the score so all good, I'm a great believer in the phrase 'Wherever tho be let your wind blow free, in church or chapel let it rattle'.
It also helps that we all have pretty childish senses of humour Lol.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Flatulence to me denotes a level of comfort that I appreciate. I dont think I could trust nor respect a partner that would hide such things, in order to perpetuate some false image.

 

[deleted1547822]

Flatulence to me denotes a level of comfort that I appreciate. I dont think I could trust nor respect a partner that would hide such things, in order to perpetuate some false image.

My wife is very comfortable with our relationship then...