Women assuming wrong sexuality?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Chocho_Lippz, Dec 27, 2010.

  1. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    I am tempted to put this in women's issue because I mainly want to see women's POV on this issue... but this is probably more proper since it is a relationship issue.

    Anyways... :)

    For some time now I have been going out, with or without friends - gay and straight. It seems that many times I get passed off as gay.

    For granted, I am not 100% straight, but I think my percentage still squarely puts me in the heterosexual camp. I still approach women just as I always have. In fact, I approach them more than all my friends - gay or straight. But it seems that quite a few times I've been asked if I was gay. OK, not really asked, but told that I was gay.

    It is rather aggravating. I know that I have some OGTs about me that others can see outwardly - I dress nice/uniquely, do my hair nice, don't drink beer, dance, and generally take good care of myself. But since when does not looking like shit and drinking mixed drinks equate to homosexuality?

    Anyways, pretty clueless on this one and it may be a little difficult to have you all diagnose this without seeing me.

    Disclaimer. I am not wanting to change who I am. If I act gay... then that is simply who I am. Someone is going to have to accept that. I'm not wanting to change my actions... I just want to learn what in the world is making multiple women assume that I am gay. Maybe it is as simple as that girls are in disbelief that a straight guy would do what I do and they are trying to discount me in any way they can. :tongue:
     
  2. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    Maybe some of that '10%' is very prominent in the way you interact or behave towards people. maybe more prominent than you know. Somewhere in there women pick up on that side in you..

    I once dated a guy who's had the same problem. Even I had to ask him several times if he didnt have some desire for men..but he didnt. It was just the way he could talk sometimes, walk´, his love for art and classical music, design (not that every Gay men likes that)..but his whole sensitivity..made me wonder if he might be bi..eventhough he showed that he was very much into me..and other women..

    Some men just have that whole metro vague aura around them..

    Maybe next time you should ask them why they think or believe you are gay or just simply accept that that's what happens

    People who meet me always think that I might be all about sex...I always have that problem...Its really annoying sometimes and sometimes even hurtful. I have asked several people what it was..They say it might be the way that I talk and look at someone. Well..I am not doing anything on purpose..

    But I might have to accept that that is how it is for me..but it is tiring sometimes, because it can make me a bit uptight about why men choose to interact with me (or not).

    Maybe we just need to accept it and let it go..
     
  3. simbablk

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    To this day I still don't know the full answer but...

    When I was in college, I was talking to this young lady who I kinda liked at the time and wanted to have sex with. We had a class together so one day while waiting on class to begin we began to chat. Eventually the conversation turned slightly sexual and I propositioned her for sex. She paused for a second and then, with a very serious face asked me, "but, I thought you were gay. You're gay, right?"

    I was completely shocked and caught off guard. I didn't know how to respond. But after a few moments of silence I asked her why did she think that. She responded that someone told her I was gay. So I asked her who that person was. She never told me who it was but said it was a friend of hers. So I politely told her to go back and tell her friend that I'm not gay. After we talked a little while longer (the professor was late) I asked again about having sex. She told me she would think about it.

    We never had sex but that stuck with me because to this day I still don't know why she thought I was gay or who told her that. But it was okay, a couple of weeks later
    I began a sexual relationship with another woman. It was great.

    Simba
     
  4. HappyBoi

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    I guess this is one of the few funny (read: positive-like) assumptions that surrounds gay men. I find it really funny anyway, that being aware of your looks, keeping in shape and using hair products or even some makeup, makes you TOO good looking? "Oh honey, uh-uuuh, he's too damn fine, he's gay, yup. All the good ones are either married or gay..". Hilarious! xD
     
  5. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    That's no joke..They are!!! :)..and I'm starting to believe that there are more hung gay men..than straight either ;-)
     
  6. Charles Finn

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    there is a movie out about 2 guys that play gay to get women
    they act very gay so that women can change them into being straight
     
  7. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    As far as I know, that is an actual statistic.
     
  8. cocktaste

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    Pretend to be gay, and let chicks know that you could easily be converted. Women love a challenge, especially if you're cute!
     
  9. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    This is probably your answer - reasonable or not.
     
  10. D_Chocho_Lippz

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    That is probably the stupidest reasoning ever (not you, the reasoning).

    But I'm not even sure that is it... like the last time I went out... my friend...

    drank the same thing I did...
    did his hair...
    dressed up similar to me...
    danced...

    However, he didn't get called gay. Why?
     
  11. D_Chocho_Lippz

    D_Chocho_Lippz Account Disabled

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    I think they do like the challenge of not knowing what you are going to do next.
     
  12. D_Fiona_Farvel

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    Perhaps something is off in the way you are signaling interest? Have you tried practicing on a female friend?

    Regarding your appearance:
    It has been a few years since I've seen your face pics, iirc, you are hot but have a muscular twink thing going on. Which works for me, however, if you're sending the wrong signals, could work against you.
     
  13. str821

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    Plug It In, I have had the same problem you have to some extent. I have definitely had girls ask me if I was gay and had girls say things around me that they probably would not have said if they had believed me to be straight. I think I'd have more of the problem if I went out looking to hook-up, which I really don't. I have decided that I only have the problem when I'm nervous around girls I am actually interested in because that nervousness causes me not project the confidence that I usually do. I am tempted to try to get close to girls by interacting with them, basically, as other (reasonable) girls would. That doesn't work. I think women find confidence more attractive than anything else.
     
  14. Not_Punny

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    Hey -- look at it as a plus. Your "OGTs" are filtering out small minded women who haven't got a clue how to have fun.
     
  15. MrHangman

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    I've seen you post in other places, and I've seen your avatar and subconsciously thought 'those lips belong to a gay man.' I never even looked at your percentage. I wish I had better advice for you. Maybe explore that ten percent more. This seems like a case of 'everyone knows you're gay before you do.'

    But I don't know you. Don't let some anonymous stranger on some website judge you. Good luck with the women. I hope your problems go away, or I hope you can conquer them.
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Yep, totally stupid reasoning, but you can bet it has an impact. I would have said it was the whole reason, but you say your friend does similar things without his sexuality being misconstrued. Does he actually pick up? Or does he just not get told he is gay? Maybe they think he's gay too, but just don't tell him? Or maybe it has to do with something else - maybe the signals you're sending out, as someone else has said.
     
  17. NEWREBA

    NEWREBA New Member

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    MHM, I really wonder what "gay men's lips" look like? It would be cool if you explained what you mean. I thought lips were just lips, although the OP's avatar is really sensual.

    As far as the topic goes, if the lips in the avatar are really yours, Pug_It_In, contact me. I'd just love to see them up close! BTW your photos are really amazing and beautiful. :biggrin1:
     
  18. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I'm not sure "acting gay" makes much sense. I have a lot of straight buddies who act stereo-typically gay all the time. It's just a form of communication. If your friends know that you are attracted to women, that most likely is the best way to get the word out. I noticed in your gallery that your photos are artistic. I mean, they're not just close-up dick shots. They actually show your body in various graceful positions. You seem to be a guy who views things that way. To me that would be a plus in terms of meeting and inter-acting with women. All the best.
     
  19. D_Chocho_Lippz

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    Understood that my body type has a "twink" thing going on... but I don't think that body type really matters, especially since I am not going around wearing no shirt.

    It is like me saying, well you wore pants to a club... you must be a lesbian.
     
  20. D_Chocho_Lippz

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    I agree. But in this last case... it was me who first approached the group. It was me who introduced myself and my friend to the group. It was me who was talking it up. So, it wasn't like I was not confident...

    But with that said, maybe that IS a problem... showing confidence but NOT being a typical hornball straight male. So confidence shows that I don't care and by not staring directly at their tits and ass all night, they assume I am not interested in women.

    It's a bitch being a nice guy with ethics.
     
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