Women assuming wrong sexuality?

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

Hey -- look at it as a plus. Your "OGTs" are filtering out small minded women who haven't got a clue how to have fun.

Right, but I'd like to not have to combat that notion every time I go out. I'm getting older here.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

I've seen you post in other places, and I've seen your avatar and subconsciously thought 'those lips belong to a gay man.' I never even looked at your percentage. I wish I had better advice for you. Maybe explore that ten percent more. This seems like a case of 'everyone knows you're gay before you do.'

But I don't know you. Don't let some anonymous stranger on some website judge you. Good luck with the women. I hope your problems go away, or I hope you can conquer them.

Didn't know that lips or anything else on someone's body dictated what sexuality they were. But, thanks for the compliment.

As for your information, I've already tried doing things with a guy (hey, I'm not 100%) and found out... with certainty, that I didn't like it, didn't care for it, and didn't want to do it again.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

Yep, totally stupid reasoning, but you can bet it has an impact. I would have said it was the whole reason, but you say your friend does similar things without his sexuality being misconstrued. Does he actually pick up? Or does he just not get told he is gay? Maybe they think he's gay too, but just don't tell him? Or maybe it has to do with something else - maybe the signals you're sending out, as someone else has said.

Not to my knowledge he has never been called gay.

I'm not sure what you exactly mean by "picked up." But, he got 2 numbers and made out.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

I'm not sure "acting gay" makes much sense. I have a lot of straight buddies who act stereo-typically gay all the time. It's just a form of communication. If your friends know that you are attracted to women, that most likely is the best way to get the word out. I noticed in your gallery that your photos are artistic. I mean, they're not just close-up dick shots. They actually show your body in various graceful positions. You seem to be a guy who views things that way. To me that would be a plus in terms of meeting and inter-acting with women. All the best.

Thanks. I fully understand what you are saying. I am friends in RL with a LPSG member and I guess he gets asked if he is gay sometimes too (he is 1% as well). As he said when I talked to him the other night, I kind of have a "i dont give a shit" kind of attitude. I don't really have boundaries or at least try not to have boundaries. Why be bottled up in some stereotypical role.

Like I said, I'm not looking to change who I am or what I do... I am just trying to figure out how some women in society are deeming me to be gay with little to no information about me.

If it is my artistic side, then... well, I'll be damned...

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

As much as I don't dig the idea of having to defend my straightness at times, I'd rather put up with that than have to pander some sort of external demands to be a butt-scratching neanderthal guy who constantly has to prove himself to others. That's probably the same reason why I can only tolerate bros and dumbasses in infinitesimally small doses and why I choose friends that are more free-spirited, easy-going, and don't give two shits about that stuff. Likewise, if a girl's that scared that I'm really gay, I guess it ain't meant for me to poke her.

All that said, it isn't easy to be that confident all the time. I'm 30 and I still have a hang-up about being misjudged in general, let alone sending off gay signals. And it kinda sucks sometimes because it makes me feel that much more cynical about other people being as open-minded and acceptable as I think people, especially in our generation, should be. It also makes me miss the good times I've had in the past when in the company of other good-spirited people like Plug. I know I don't have anything to prove and I know that I am my own best compass at knowing how I feel and think about attractions. Still doesn't matter dealing with assholes any easier.

Eh, oh well. To that end, that's why I enjoy outlets like LPSG sometimes. Granted, you have to be explicit about what your 80-90-95-99 straightness means sometimes, but by and large people tend to accept others as they are on here and it's a good place to be how I wanna be without excessive judgment.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Not to my knowledge he has never been called gay.

I'm not sure what you exactly mean by "picked up." But, he got 2 numbers and made out.

Sorry, 'picked up' must be an Aussie-ism. But that's exactly what it means. Have you asked your friends if they have any insight on this one? After all, they know you better than we do.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

Sorry, 'picked up' must be an Aussie-ism. But that's exactly what it means. Have you asked your friends if they have any insight on this one? After all, they know you better than we do.

Yeah, since he was there and witnessed the whole thing we discussed it at length.

He doesn't know. About the only difference is that he likes to go to strip clubs and I don't. And if women can sense that... then WTF.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Yeah, since he was there and witnessed the whole thing we discussed it at length.

He doesn't know. About the only difference is that he likes to go to strip clubs and I don't. And if women can sense that... then WTF.

ROFL :biggrin1:. We certainly aren't THAT good at sensing things. I guess the only suggestion I have left is that you ask 'why' the next time a woman says she thought you were gay. Might be a bit embarrassing, but it might at least give you an idea of what's behind it. I hope you do figure it out eventually (or that you find a woman who DOESN'T think you're gay just as you are). You seem like a nice guy.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

I did ask. Their answer was "don't know, that is just what we think." Rather frustrating. Damn snap judgements.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

That's no joke..They are!!! ..and I'm starting to believe that there are more hung gay men..than straight either ;-)

That may indeed be the case. It seems like I read about some study that concluded that exposure to higher testosterone in utero causes homosexuality.

 

[Pitbull]

Funny.
In the past I had women assume I was gay.
I have no idea why.
I have close to zero fashion sense.
Don't dance.
Drink beer.

But no gay man ever made that assumption
(that I am aware of)
In fact ones that I mentioned to that some women thought I was gay got the biggest laugh out of it and were as puzzled as I was as to why they thought that.

 

[dude_007]

You are the creator. If the actors in your life story, in this case the females in the club, are assuming you are gay, some part of you is sending out that vibe. Perhaps a subconscious part of you is less than 99% sure you are straight and therefore the manifestations you create happen as they do.

But who can say for sure. Life is a mystery afterall

 

[formerex]

Plug It In, I'm in the same boat as you. Granted I'm not the straightest person out there, it's just frustrating that I do want to be with a woman and they'll make assumptions about me. And I am not sure when people will start to realize that the way someone talks, walks, dances, whatever has very little to do with what they like to do in a bedroom.

Most recently a girl that though I was gay ended up sleeping with me for a few weeks. I was really glad that I could get past that judgment but then I ended up not really wanting to be with her anyway. If a girl tells you she thinks your gay, have you ever offered to sleep with her? I was shocked at the results.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

That may indeed be the case. It seems like I read about some study that concluded that exposure to higher testosterone in utero causes homosexuality.

I have heard that there is a higher chance of being better hung if you are not 100% straight. But, no personal evidence to provide with that other than what I've heard from a few scientist and then also a few bi/gay friends.

Funny.
In the past I had women assume I was gay.
I have no idea why.
I have close to zero fashion sense.
Don't dance.
Drink beer.

But no gay man ever made that assumption
(that I am aware of)
In fact ones that I mentioned to that some women thought I was gay got the biggest laugh out of it and were as puzzled as I was as to why they thought that.

See, this blows the OGT idea out of the water. Are we sure that it is not what we DO, but what our bodies do (pheromones)?

You are the creator. If the actors in your life story, in this case the females in the club, are assuming you are gay, some part of you is sending out that vibe. Perhaps a subconscious part of you is less than 99% sure you are straight and therefore the manifestations you create happen as they do.

But who can say for sure. Life is a mystery afterall

I'm not 1%, I'm more 5-10% but LPSG doesn't allow for the more proper 5% designation. But yes, who knows.

Plug It In, I'm in the same boat as you. Granted I'm not the straightest person out there, it's just frustrating that I do want to be with a woman and they'll make assumptions about me. And I am not sure when people will start to realize that the way someone talks, walks, dances, whatever has very little to do with what they like to do in a bedroom.

Most recently a girl that though I was gay ended up sleeping with me for a few weeks. I was really glad that I could get past that judgment but then I ended up not really wanting to be with her anyway. If a girl tells you she thinks your gay, have you ever offered to sleep with her? I was shocked at the results.

Ha, I think I will try this next time it happens!!!

 

[EmJay]

If a girl tells you she thinks your gay, have you ever offered to sleep with her? I was shocked at the results.

I think you are on to something here haha LOL....

If I were to think that and he would say to me * I'm not gay, but let me fuck you, and then you can tell me if i'm gay or not* ..in a confident way and while looking straight into my eyes...my curiousity would certainly be stimulated right there..

Might even toss the idea of 'your sexuality' right out of the door..

But I know..you can't just go around and fuck every girl..haha

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

I think you are on to something here haha LOL....

If I were to think that and he would say to me * I'm not gay, but let me fuck you, and then you can tell me if i'm gay or not* ..in a confident way and while looking straight into my eyes...my curiousity would certainly be stimulated right there..

Might even toss the idea of 'your sexuality' right out of the door..

But I know..you can't just go around and fuck every girl..haha

I am definitely going to do this next time. I am very secure in my sexual ability and I am known to say crazy things like this. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Teasdale Tittithorne]

Pretend to be gay, and let chicks know that you could easily be converted. Women love a challenge, especially if you're cute!

That was the same idea I had - the "fag hags" always fall in love with their gay friends!

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

It still seems like once I get "called out" I am locked out.

Maybe I just don't know how to challenge them... and maybe the sleeping with me offer may be the trick.

 

[B_625girth]

when I was younger I had long blond hair, half way down my back. I am tall and was quite slim back then. I hung out with a pretty liberal crowd, and some of them were queer(before it was called 'gay"). other folks assumed from my looks and some of the folks I hung out with that I was a homosexual. I was slowly working my way into 2 relationships with a couple ladies. I was pretty picky, and turned down offers from young women to fuck them. they concluded I was queer because I would not fuck them. eventually, I was balling these 2 gals, and my rep spread that I was hung, and I started getting laid a lot. the few gals that spread the rumor, I never fucked any of them. initially, it's because I didn;t like them much & then later for telling lies.

then the folks who started the homosexual rumor on me, changed it to he's "bisexual". and that rumor still persists today. even tho I have been married for 30+yrs, have 3 kids, and get 3-4 offers from women per year to "step" outside my marriage. I still look good for my age, in good shape, hardly an ounce of fat on me. now the rumor persist because they are jealous of me, my life, and I went further than most of them, and certainly further than they thought I would.

 

[MrHangman]

Didn't know that lips or anything else on someone's body dictated what sexuality they were. But, thanks for the compliment.

Maybe that's the problem. You don't realize that there are signs. It doesn't matter if the signs actually exist or are correct because it won't stop people from making perceptive judgments about them.