Women being bitchy towards each other...

[rtg]

Hi ladies, so I guess I want your opinion on why do you think some women are bitchy / rude to another woman for no apparent reason? Do you think it mostly comes from a place of insecurity? They feel threatened or jealous? I think that this is the key reason why sometimes I decide to not like women for no reason.

I've posted in women's issues as opposed to AAW as men probably have some insight too based on their experience with listening to women bitch lol.

But I ask because this really bothered me... last week at baseball there was another woman (around my age) filling in for my team. I was really excited to have another woman on the team. She didn't seem to share my enthusiasm. At one point She said something that I thought was funny and when I laughed she kinda just gave me a rude look in what otherwise could have been a moment of two women bonding.

 

[EllieP]

That's why most of my friends are male. I've had more problem making women friends than men, no question about that. I think it would be easy to say they're jealous, but I don't think so. Insecurity? Why in the world would I make someone insecure?

I see guys meet each other and within a few minutes they're old friends. How come it's so hard for women to do that? I really don't have an answer to your question @rtg, but it is sometimes frustrating to me.

My best girlfriends I've known for more many years. I do have some casual acquaintances that I talk to from time to time. But I can't call them close friends. I'm actually closer with my employees than them.

I have a very strong Type A personality, so that might turn some people off. Who knows?

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

To be perfectly fair, just because someone is female doesn't mean I'm going to hit it off.. and honestly I avoid social situations like that anyway, because I'm just not a huge people person. But....

I'd have to say it isn't hard for me to get along with someone I do happen to be in a social situation with if they're on my level (which just means come with respect), and from your posts you seem cool as fuck I'd have an easy time bullshittin' with ya. Maybe she was having a shit day, or maybe she was one of those people who can't get along with anyone.

Some women may be insecure, some may be stuck up and think they're too good to socialize with other human beings... but I'd say in my experience men do the same kind of shit, and this seems to be mostly something pushed by sexist morons who think all women hate each other and we're all back stabbers who gossip about each other.

Just because I'm not friendly with a woman doesn't mean I'm not friendly in general... but @rtg, I'd say that woman needed to relax her shit and let you make her laugh the way you make us.

 

[BetterFuture]

I've seen women do this in small group settings now and then. I think that the bitchiness can be caused by jealousy and/or insecurity. But if the goal is to vie for attention from men, I've got to say that I personally view this pretty negatively.

But there is something my group of friends (men and women... hung out a lot together) came up with about 20 years ago. The concept was "same sex asshole"... someone who treats people of the same sex poorly and people of the opposite sex don't see the negative stuff as easily. For example, this could be a new woman hanging with the group that the guys would think was normal or even kinda nice, but the women would see quite differently because she's be obnoxious or aloof to them. And it works the other way too: a man can be a same-sex asshole too. I'm tired, so I hope I explained that well.

@rtg, my guess is that it sounds like this woman didn't want to bother to get to know you at all and maybe was very insecure. It's too bad for her. But I wouldn't take it personally... it's on her, not you.

And @EllieP, I'm a bit similar... I generally get along better with women than I do with men in lightly social situations. Who knows why.

 

[Matt_x]

What did she say if you don't mind me asking?

Could it had been personal that would otherwise be constructed as you making fun of her as opposed to laughing with her. Maybe she is the type that dislikes when other people chime in on other peoples conversation; A & B type of attitude.

I wouldn't fret on the negative though, you are too charismatic and lovely, to let things like this bother you. Keep your head up, I wouldn't let things like this face me.

 

[MickeyLee]

i get along fairly well with other women.
after junior high, my encounters with click-bitchery has been sparse
my friends are about 50/50 male/female
my girls are down for me, i am taking it to the grave for them

i used to be a woman with only men friends
thanks in a large part to LPSG i am not making new male friends
i now like hanging out with other women, i got the whole united sisterhood vibe.

 

[rtg]

What did she say if you don't mind me asking?

Could it had been personal that would otherwise be constructed as you making fun of her as opposed to laughing with her. Maybe she is the type that dislikes when other people chime in on other peoples conversation; A & B type of attitude.

I wouldn't fret on the negative though, you are too charismatic and lovely, to let things like this bother you. Keep your head up, I wouldn't let things like this face me.

It was before the game and we were watching the pitcher on the other team warm up. I said "she has a really weird technique" and then this chick goes "it's because she can't pitch". I then laughed and put my hand on her shoulder and said something like "haha yeah you're right". So I wasn't chiming in on her conversation and I wasn't talking about her...

I think maybe she's just standoffish in general? Because she was a bit rude to another guy during the game and she really only had time for this one guy she came with. They are old friends... I wonder if she likes him though. This is one of the guys that I have a bit of a crush on too.

I just can't stand people being rude to me for no reason.

 

[Matt_x]

It was before the game and we were watching the pitcher on the other team warm up. I said "she has a really weird technique" and then this chick goes "it's because she can't pitch". I then laughed and put my hand on her shoulder and said something like "haha yeah you're right". So I wasn't chiming in on her conversation and I wasn't talking about her...

I think maybe she's just standoffish in general? Because she was a bit rude to another guy during the game and she really only had time for this one guy she came with. They are old friends... I wonder if she likes him though. This is one of the guys that I have a bit of a crush on too.

I just can't stand people being rude to me for no reason.

Some people just don't have social skills, or simply rude like you implied. But i like how descriptive you mentioned that you placed your hand on her shoulder in a playful "yeah your right". It shows a lot of character and that i wasn't wrong about you.

Maybe she does like him... he doesn't realize, and might have mentioned things about you on their own time.

I can understand how that can be annoying, but I truly can't be bothered for to long. I tend to stay clear of negative people.

 

[rtg]

Some people just don't have social skills, or simply rude like you implied. But i like how descriptive you mentioned that you placed your hand on her shoulder in a playful "yeah your right". It shows a lot of character and that i wasn't wrong about you.

Maybe she does like him... he doesn't realize, and might have mentioned things about you on their own time.

I can understand how that can be annoying, but I truly can't be bothered for to long. I tend to stay clear of negative people.

Yeah true. I doubt that guy had mentioned me since I'd only met him the week before lol.

But I also don't bother persisting with people if they continue to be rude or whatever. So I think I just won't worry about it... tbh all the women I've met through baseball (except for one in her 40s or 50s) have been bitchy. Lucky it's mostly guys though so I don't have to worry about them.

 

[Kilimandjaro]

well she was the only girl in the team before you arrived , i guess it can look like on only child that will get a brother/sisiter that will steal some of his parents attention... Maybe that is why she is not very friendly with you, just guessing there...

 

[rtg]

well she was the only girl in the team before you arrived , i guess it can look like on only child that will get a brother/sisiter that will steal some of his parents attention... Maybe that is why she is not very friendly with you, just guessing there...

No, she's not in the team and never was in the team. She was just filing in. I suggested to her that she should join the team but wasn't particularly interested.

 

[AlteredEgo]

It was before the game and we were watching the pitcher on the other team warm up. I said "she has a really weird technique" and then this chick goes "it's because she can't pitch". I then laughed and put my hand on her shoulder and said something like "haha yeah you're right". So I wasn't chiming in on her conversation and I wasn't talking about her...

I think maybe she's just standoffish in general? Because she was a bit rude to another guy during the game and she really only had time for this one guy she came with. They are old friends... I wonder if she likes him though. This is one of the guys that I have a bit of a crush on too.

I just can't stand people being rude to me for no reason.

You touched her? Some people really do not like that.

 

[Holly Doors]

Hi ladies, so I guess I want your opinion on why do you think some women are bitchy / rude to another woman for no apparent reason? Do you think it mostly comes from a place of insecurity? They feel threatened or jealous? I think that this is the key reason why sometimes I decide to not like women for no reason.

I've posted in women's issues as opposed to AAW as men probably have some insight too based on their experience with listening to women bitch lol.

But I ask because this really bothered me... last week at baseball there was another woman (around my age) filling in for my team. I was really excited to have another woman on the team. She didn't seem to share my enthusiasm. At one point She said something that I thought was funny and when I laughed she kinda just gave me a rude look in what otherwise could have been a moment of two women bonding.

I get this a fair bit I think in the main it's some kind of jealousy, I'm a pretty easy going woman myself although I will stand up for myself and have been known to put nasty people in their place or even on their ass when required. the thing is though it really beats me why women have to have this nasty attitude, I'm a great friend if I'm treated properly. I think some women don't like me because I always try to make an effort to look good and dress nicely, my boobs don't help either but I don't get that either it's what god gave me! I get comments that come from nowhere like oh look at her with those ridiculous boobs flaunting it all, I bet that husband of hers paid for them! They're clearly natural but I think that's another thing, because I married a guy that has money and a big willy, I certainly didn't marry for money and he actually has studied hard in his life and works for everything we have. Yeah we drive nice cars and have a lot of fun but I'm sure everyone else would do the same if they had the opportunity to, it really pisses me off sometimes but on the whole I try to brush it off otherwise I find myself turning into a bitch Lol

 

[rtg]

You touched her? Some people really do not like that.

That's why I mentioned it... I thought maybe that annoyed her. But how am I to know. But even before that point she wasn't exactly friendly.

 

[rtg]

I get this a fair bit I think in the main it's some kind of jealousy, I'm a pretty easy going woman myself although I will stand up for myself and have been known to put nasty people in their place or even on their ass when required. the thing is though it really beats me why women have to have this nasty attitude, I'm a great friend if I'm treated properly. I think some women don't like me because I always try to make an effort to look good and dress nicely, my boobs don't help either but I don't get that either it's what god gave me! I get comments that come from nowhere like oh look at her with those ridiculous boobs flaunting it all, I bet that husband of hers paid for them! They're clearly natural but I think that's another thing, because I married a guy that has money and a big willy, I certainly didn't marry for money and he actually has studied hard in his life and works for everything we have. Yeah we drive nice cars and have a lot of fun but I'm sure everyone else would do the same if they had the opportunity to, it really pisses me off sometimes but on the whole I try to brush it off otherwise I find myself turning into a bitch Lol

Thanks for sharing i appreciate that. And I can relate to a lot of what you've said.

I try to brush it off too but then when I'm alone I start thinking about it and make posts like this haha.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Women usually don't like me. This has been true since elementary school. It's fine. I don't usually like them either. It only bothers me if I was interested in getting to know the woman. Being bothered is fleeting. I really only like women who have lots of similarity to me. Maybe other women feel the same way.

Sometimes it has been very obviously related to insecurity, jealousy, or envy. Sometimes it is because of my relationship with some man, whether that relationship between is platonic, casually sexual, a monogamous romance, or the fact that we used to have sex ages ago and she's the one he beds now. Sometimes it's my own fault and I've put my foot in my mouth and cannot recover. Sometimes I have had some kind of previous beef with someone she knows. Sometimes it is the "same-sex asshole" cleverly mentioned above. Sometimes it is to keep me from making inroads with a new group of women. Sometimes it is to keep me from advancing at work because we need to compete for the same promotions or sales prospects.

Usually? It's the first thing I mentioned, insecurity, jealousy, or envy regarding a man, nearly always one I've previously bedded. Wives and girlfriends of exes fucking loathe me. I don't steal time, I don't violate their monogamy, and I always try to extend my friendship and my social and business contacts to them. Sometimes they make it plainly obvious to me. Sometimes they only show him their disdain for me, and he tells me. I just think to myself, "I've been here for years. I was here before you, and I'll pick up the pieces when you are dismissed. Get used to me or your insecurity will sour his opinion of you." With ONE exception, the girlfriends of the men I keep close either made an effort to get along with me, or they got left (never because of me). The one exception was obviously going to be an exception. She was abusing him, and lots of victims dig in and hope things will magically improve after a wedding. Poor guy.

It could be anything or a combination of things. You're a delightful woman, @rtg . It's her loss. "Pop ya collar; don't let it get ya." -Usher Raymond
Brush it off. "Git dat dirt off ya shoulder." -Shawn Corey "Jay Z" Carter

 

[Holly Doors]

Thanks for sharing i appreciate that. And I can relate to a lot of what you've said.

I try to brush it off too but then when I'm alone I start thinking about it and make posts like this haha.

It's great that you do post stuff like this, it's something that really gets me sometimes hunni, I don't know why people can't live and let live sometimes. but after someone has said something nasty to me I find it bugs me for ages, really annoying!

 

[286798]

I think maybe she's just standoffish in general? Because she was a bit rude to another guy during the game and she really only had time for this one guy she came with.

Maybe she's the type who is not confident in new situations and the brusque response was just her defense mechanism. Some people are quiet, some are gregarious, and some are just rude... sounds like she might be in the last category. It kinda sounds like she was pressured into doing something she didn't want to do, too. And all of that has absolutely nothing to do with you... that's all her.

But to the general question: IMO, there are "guys' girls" and "girls' girls"... meaning there are women who gravitate toward the friendship/company of men, and there are women who prefer to be with other women... and this difference can often determine whether you click or not. (I am mostly a guys' girl, but have cultivated a core group of no-drama, no-BS girlfriends that I treasure.) I think some girls' girls don't understand why guys' girls don't want to bond over gossip and pettiness and take it as disinterest in them/the friendship, not a disinterest in the gossip. That leads to them being bitchy about the guys' girl.

I was really excited to have another woman on the team.

I have to admit that I sometimes have an internal resistance to bonding over gender. I'll not be as rude as this woman was, but it is something I recognize about myself. Just because we both have lady-parts doesn't mean we'll have much else in common.

 

[Wave85]

Maybe she's the type who is not confident in new situations and the brusque response was just her defense mechanism. Some people are quiet, some are gregarious, and some are just rude... sounds like she might be in the last category. It kinda sounds like she was pressured into doing something she didn't want to do, too. And all of that has absolutely nothing to do with you... that's all her.

But to the general question: IMO, there are "guys' girls" and "girls' girls"... meaning there are women who gravitate toward the friendship/company of men, and there are women who prefer to be with other women... and this difference can often determine whether you click or not. (I am mostly a guys' girl, but have cultivated a core group of no-drama, no-BS girlfriends that I treasure.) I think some girls' girls don't understand why guys' girls don't want to bond over gossip and pettiness and take it as disinterest in them/the friendship, not a disinterest in the gossip. That leads to them being bitchy about the guys' girl.


I have to admit that I sometimes have an internal resistance to bonding over gender. I'll not be as rude as this woman was, but it is something I recognize about myself. Just because we both have lady-parts doesn't mean we'll have much else in common.

I just get along better with women - most of my best friends have always been women. That said, I have always been a bit baffled by how some women treat other women or in some general trends, like why women tend not to elect women to public office even though they represent the majority of voters. Part of me wonders whether it is because for some women they feel like they are unnaturally trying to make their way in a world where the rules and culture are dominated by guys and they have a hard time interacting with other women in that context - or they have been molded by their attempt to conform to that world in ways that make them hostile to other women.

 

[twoton]

When I sense that a woman doesn't get along with other women, it usually seems to be out of competition. There are some women who need to top other women, consciously or not, they'll work to get to the top.

Generally, women who don't feel that need are turned off by those women, and tend to avoid them.