Women being good lovers

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Jovial, Jun 10, 2006.

  1. Jovial

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    I've read women's posts talking about what they like from men (large cock, nice body, staying power, etc.). I'd like to hear from women what they think makes a woman a good lover. Why are you a better or worse lover than other women?

    I'd like to hear from some women first before the men reply, otherwise their responses may be biased. Thank you.
     
  2. B_GorgeousJane

    B_GorgeousJane New Member

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    Well, for me, it's all about having an open-mind, wanting to please your partner, learning what your partner likes, enthusiasm, passion, learning how to use what YOU have to its best ability, intelligence, ideas and understanding. To name but a few essentials.

    Failing that, big tits and a tight pussy seems to work for most men... :cool:
     
  3. ClaireTalon

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    I guess an answer to your question won't come without self-praise. So don't attack me for it.

    What makes me a good lover is that I have the attitude of quid pro quo, applied on sex. Giving and taking is my catch phrase, I'll certainly never be the passive one who only takes, I'll always reward pleasure, and retaliate teases. I'm not shy, and know a pretty big list of seductive things to heat up fore play and to give mind-fucks long before we end in bed. Gorgeous Jane got it all right, it's about enthusiasm and passion that makes sex enjoyable, and those are two character features that I have in abundance.
     
  4. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think first step in being a good lover is wanting to be there and not only because you feel you have to. Being open minded enough to let a man explore your body and not holding back, which isnt easy to do as most of us women have insecurities about our bodies.

    Also to communicate, if you like what he is doing then tell him and encourage him to do it more, if you dont like it them find a way of letting him to do something else.

    But generally speaking i think things have changed alot from what they used to be. Men really do want to please their woman and not just themselves anymore..and its all about letting them do

    Anyway thats just what i think makes a good lover
     
  5. Jovial

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    Thanks for the replies. I guess I'm also interested in knowing if women in general think about or worry if they are good lovers or how they could be better. From my male perspective it seems like there is pressure on men to be good lovers. Do women feel the same pressure?

    I guess this was a joke. Or do some women think that this is all men need to be satisfied in bed (long-term)?

    This is interesting. So being a good lover means letting the man be a good lover? :confused:
     
  6. B_GorgeousJane

    B_GorgeousJane New Member

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    :wink: yes it was a joke. I think...

    it takes communication and willingness from both partners to make sex good - I understand what Lee means, but I don't think she meant the woman to be as passive as you might have interpreted it.

    Claire was right, it's give and take, and you have to be confident and relaxed enough for both. And part of what makes a woman a good lover is to help her partner be confident and relaxed.

    Basically, what makes a woman a good lover are the same things that apply to men - skill and attitude (the confidence, passion, open-mindedness) are all more important than physical attributes.
     
  7. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lee_M
    But generally speaking i think things have changed alot from what they used to be. Men really do want to please their woman and not just themselves anymore..and its all about letting them do


    Yeah absolutley, we women are never going to be good lovers if we arent secure enough with ourselves to let men explore every part of our bodies, inside and out. Its a 2 way street and for one partner to be a good lover the other has to be open to allowing them to do so.

    If you mean in a more physical sense then a good female lover is a woman that isnt scared to try anything to please her man. Men are very visual creatures and if that means a striptease than do it, if he wants to just look and play with your pussy and learn about it then let him. Also dont be scared to get dirty, some things we find corny or cliche are the tried and true methods. talk dirty, play dirty, whatever it takes to gets things happening (all within reason of course)
     
  8. lisa_2662

    lisa_2662 Member

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    I agree with most of whats already been posted on here. Being enthusiastic and open with your partner is key. Trading off foreplay and getting each other ramped up for the main event is key in my book. I think a lot of people think a good who's girl in bed is going to be like a pornstar moving from reverse cowgirl to the piledriver and then doing the splits, but a lot of those crazy positions (except cowgirl, that one rocks lol) aren't really that stimulating, and can take your mind off of the actual pleasure. I've also found that being vocal and telling the man how it feels, or what you want, turns them on big time and helps creates better sex.
     
  9. Jovial

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    Thanks for the replies. OK, now, do any guys have an opinion on this subject?

    I guess the same general ideas apply to both sexes. I like what Jane said: understanding. But it's hard to understand someone else, especially if they are just too different from you to begin with. I like confidence also. I dream of being with someone that understands me and can sort of read my mind and anticipate what I want them to do and say.

    Also, I wonder if there is a double standard. If a woman leaves a man because he's not satisfying her, it's the man's fault. If a man leaves a woman, we blame it on men not wanting to be monogamous. I think if a woman is a great lover then her man wouldn't dare leave her.
     
  10. Ethyl

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    I've had ex's who insisted I was the best sex they'd had, but our break-ups had nothing to do with sex, or the lack of skill and enthusiasm. And they didn't just tell me this while we were in bed, but after the relationship ended (they almost always come back). Emotional immaturity was usually the culprit for the falling out, not sex.

    As for the reason i'm a good lover? As in the aforementioned posts, i'm passionate, a giver and a receiver. Intuition plays a key role. Sensuality is as important as sexuality to me. I've been told i'm an excellent kisser. Kissing, in my experience, is a good indicator of what is yet to come. Not foolproof, but it helps. I'm willing to try just about anything once and if I like it, I want to excel in it. Most of all, sex is fun and my partner knows how much I love it.
     
  11. Gisella

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    Well, im a good lover to some men that like urgent, hard, athletic, high stamina, hands all over the place , passionate sex in many short sessions...im too impatient for preliminares and blablablas...soft taking pices of clothes and etc...when im sex hunger i want to eat good now! and thats all...

    As i already say many times i get bored very easy with slow loving making but i want to learn to enjoy foreplay and last longer because i prefer just penetration bang bang above all else.
     
  12. Mr. Snakey

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    :smile: I would think all the woman on lspg are good lovers having a better understanding on the topic ! Enjoy having them here!
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    I don't know that anyone is going to be able to "read your mind" on the first run out. However, forming an intimate bond with a woman who cares about your pleasure will ensure you of a partner who will learn to anticipate your needs and desires. In my last serious relationship, I was vigilant. I learned that my man didn't want to talk to anyone when he first got home. He wanted to wash his hands and face, feel like the world was washed away and left outside. I knew it was best to allow him that, and get him a healthy snack immediately. This was always rewarded with a much better mood and outlook, as well as hugs and kisses, which are always easily turned into teasing and tempting by a vigilant woman who is a great lover.

    I think one thing which makes a woman a good lover is an excellent knowledge of her own body, especially of it's physical abilities/limitations, and how to give it pleasure. Another is keen observation. Another thing is determination to give pleasure, and to receieve it. I simply do to a man what I think would feel good if it were done to me. I watch his reactions. I figure out what to do for him based on what has worked on others before him, what has worked on me, and what is working for him right now. Also I'm an envelope pusher. I like to push limitations, and have at least one of us experience something wholly new as often as possible.

    As for double standards, I'm going to say no. A man is not going to simply stick around for a good lover. Not forever, anyway. A man will stay with a woman he loves, I guess. By all accounts I'm an excellent friend, the men I know think I would be a good mother, and the men I've bedded all think I'm a good lover. Yet I have exes, some of whom left me. I find this to be a ridiculous supposition. Some men will stay with some women. Some men won't stay with any women. Do men leave good women who are good lovers? Yes. Why? In my experience, it's because he wants to find out how many others he can find like her or better. (With one exception of a man who was apparently afraid of getting everything he wanted.)
     
  14. OBsessed

    OBsessed New Member

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    What makes me a good lover is that I really enjoy my husband's cock. I can't get enough of its taste, feel and sight. He knows how much I enjoy playing with his male piece! :smile: I initiate oral sex at least as often as he does - and I don't expect reciprocation, either, unless were in bed already and intend the oral part to be just foreplay.
     
  15. ClaireTalon

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    Hehe, you've got to find the brake, Gisella!

    A personal tip from me would be to get some good eating first (aka have yourself fucked inside-out and littered with grip marks), then rest some and enjoy a full menu of starters, main course, maybe with snacks in between. That's my usual way to handle things, because I'm not very good at keeping the speed low on the first time, and it really works.

    Of course, if you have problems controlling yourself once the stimulation starts, you should think about another important element of good sex: discipline, especially self-discipline. It is hard, but it's learnable, and the best thing is: Those are the best lessons you can have, learning something ;-) Indeed, self-discipline contributes decisively to the pleasure of the partner; someone who is able to hold himself from just dashing forward and getting himself off will be a better lover in my book.
     
  16. Gisella

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    :biggrin1:

    Hehehe...

    Claire...i was just thinking about my ways in food courses..when i go to a buffet restaurant i start many times with the dessert...chocolate delight or strawberries something, coconuts, mousses and etc and strong black coffee...:tongue:

    I have to have bang bangs and later may have patience for some slow foreplay...

    Im telling u people...I have to learn a lot in the slow self dicipline arena of sex !!!:redface: :rolleyes:
     
  17. Gisella

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    :rolleyes:

    And trully im not thinking about my partner as im thinking much more about me...i do prefer pleasure me...and if he wants have fun he must follow me..OPS..i'm not a good lover!!! wow...

    :chairfall:

    I think and almost sure i enjoy to use men bodies to my own pleasure...sorry..:eek:

    :redface:
     
  18. ClaireTalon

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    Nothing illicit about being a bit egoistic, and wanting to be pleased, but in order to go with my quid pro quo sex policy, I have to give a lot too. Men will return for more of they know they get something more than just change in return for their efforts of giving pleasures to me.

    Don't worry, your not a bad lover, sis!

     
  19. Ethyl

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    The old adage "you can do anything if you put your mind to it" applies here. It IS difficult to go slow the first time around. I find the initial animal lust needs to peak at least once before curiousity and exploration follow. That's where the real fun begins:tongue:
     
  20. Gisella

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    :kiss: :kiss:

    Thank u Claire and Mercurialbliss...

    But i think is because i do not get pleasure from oral play in me as i get from intercourse (i never cum from oral sex or external masturbation..never..just vaginal sex & masturbation) that i like to disregard most of foreplay...

    I'm learning..well i was learning because im single now..have to wait a bit more to continue my education in that...:rolleyes:
     
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