Women coming on strong

MickeyLee

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the gender profiling line was a bit of a tease, since Ms. Ellie admits to shameless flirty for her own.

so jealousy is ample reason to treat a partner like shit? sorry, no.

if i get jealous, that's my own shit.. i've got no right to "punish" the boy for something harmless.


and, yes, there is a serious double standard here.. if some woman had posted about innocent flirting leading to her man/boy/partner giving her the "treatment".... half the women here would grouse about not letting some asshole being so controlling.

if she talked to about it.. fine.. discussed all the boundaries and why she felt hurt.. wouldn't be a reason for me to post. but the "treatment" sounds like punishment.. is controlling and manipulative.


check out girl tugged his sleeve... not his cock :rolleyes:

if my women/man got touched, i'd ask if she/he was okay with the touching.. if not.. kill the toucher.. if okay.. then.. whatever. life goes on.
 
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ManlyBanisters

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Kotchanski

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the gender profiling line was a bit of a tease, since Ms. Ellie admits to shameless flirty for her own.

so jealousy is ample reason to treat a partner like shit? sorry, no.

if i get jealous, that's my own shit.. i've got no right to "punish" the boy for something harmless.


and, yes, there is a serious double standard here.. if some woman had posted about innocent flirting leading to her man/boy/partner giving her the "treatment".... half the women here would grouse about not letting some asshole being so controlling.

if she talked to about it.. fine.. discussed all the boundaries and why she felt hurt.. wouldn't be a reason for me to post. but the "treatment" sounds like punishment.. is controlling and manipulative.


check out girl tugged his sleeve... not his cock :rolleyes:

I see your point, but I'm working on the assumption that he knew before hand that she'd take issue with it, knew her boundaries and went ahead regardless because it gave him an ego boost as he says...

Which reads very much like "He did something knowing full well I won't like it, because it gave him something he wanted" which doesn't sound all that respectful to me, and it certainly isn't something I'd tolerate (though I'd not post about it personally) be it flirting or anything else he knew I didn't find acceptable.

There are plenty of things my husband would be pissed at me doing, and I don't do them out of respect for him, or at the very least stop when I know I've crossed the line... I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting the same in return.
 

MickeyLee

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*snuggles with the Cowboy* is a loverly shade tree, no?



my assumption was flirting is allowed.. Ms. Ellie has posted about The Capt'n being a flirt, always with a feeling of affection. going by her post, she got mad when Clerk Girl touched him.

"he joked back... fuming" maybe he didn't know she was fuming. i've mock-pissed at the boy more times than not. it all sounds like a misunderstanding. something that should have been solved with a "you know, i really got upset back there. i was hurt." followed by a "didn't realize, i'm sorry."

being grumbled enough to bring the issue to LPSG in a thread? to get a cheer of support and a chorus of "shame on you, Capt'n"



i'll bow of from here on out, cuz i got nothing to add other than being a bit "wtf, why is behaving like this OK???" by the whole show.
 
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hsarge

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Cap, you got the response from Ellie that you wanted. She is jealous. And Miss Ellie, we know you attract the guys like a bear to honey.
 

LaFemme

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Personally, I don't worry about flirting I can see. I'm proud of the man I love and if another woman shows interest? Well, good for her - but he's coming home with me. Especially when I know that he loves me, loves being with me and thinks that I'm the sexiest woman he'll ever have in his bed.

But if it were me in that store, walking up and catching my hubby flirting with a cashier and he suddenly stopped - I might worry. It's what happens behind my back that I worry about.

I like things out in the open and above board. I always tell my friends or b/fs "here are the things that hurt me, please don't do this" or "let's see how we can make this better for both of us". I am not one to give anyone the treatment - I might give myself a timeout to think, but that's for me and not to punish anyone.

Some girls are pushy, some girls flirt with anyone and there are some girls who only want men who are in relationships; some girls don't flirt at all and some are just friendly. I just need to be good with myself and the people in my life.
 

EllieP

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Guys, everything's ok here. Yeah, it was the touching that set me off, and them him knowing he got my goat, well, I just went off on it.

He's been very apologetic, and I admit I milked it! It's my prerogative after all.

Yes, there is a double standard at work here, always has been.

I am not the jealous type at all. I know he's coming home with me. I just needed to vent a little.

He is a twit, though, but I would flirt with him in a heartbeat! LOL!
 

monstro

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This is one situation in which one specific person (the cashier) responded in one specific way (flirtatiously) to another specific person (your husband.) She probably didn't notice the ring on his finger (if he wears one) and he was probably--in my own stupid estimation--embarrassed about the interaction and wishing to minimize it in order to avoid your quite understandable upset. Sounds to me like you're married to a very attractive man. Let him know how glad you are that he's yours.
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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Elle, I agree that I don't think the heavy come-on flirting is gender related.

I agree with ML's and LeFemme's posts. Not knowing either one of you, but reading many of your posts, I imagine you to be very beautiful and friendly, and am 'assuming' (yeah) that your husband also has an easy smile and is probably very easy to talk with.

I don't understand jealousy, so is hard for me to speak to that. I can only say that when women come up to my husband and flirt, I take pride in it. I can honestly say I've seen women come on to him (some pretty strong) and it just makes me proud of him. But I also know he understands when and where the line is. He says he feels the same about me. We have been together for over half our lives, but even early on it just wasn't part of our relationship.

I agree primarily that if you should be upset with him, it should be because he failed to notice your displeasure with the cashier, and his failure to redirect the conversation, or stop completely. (Hindsight: He should have put his arm around you lovingly as the cashier finished the order... and give you a quick squeeze and kiss on the cheek). And instead of showing your displeasure with her, perhaps walk up behind him and give him a quick squeeze around the hips and say "hey hon, ya beat me to the counter again!"

I am not sure, just thinking out loud at alternatives that would have put the girl in her place so she would know 'hands off, this is my guy' and at the same time make each of you feel good about each other. Then instead of being angry, you could have laughed with him at how silly the girl was being.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, just some ideas you and your husband might could talk about ... if it happens again...
 
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rawbone8

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:rolleyes:

Feeling territorial, threatened, angry, punishing him with "in the doghouse" treatment and posting to a thread in a public community to shame him even though the spouse is supposedly trusted could never be jealous, could it?
 

lafever

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I'd be more worried if he wasn't getting hit on, you're looking at the wrong side of the coin here. You should have been happy, so there lies the problem, it's with you not him. You shouldn't be so insecure, maybe you need to be reminded that he's with you. And if he's a hot guy and he chose you then that means you're some hot stuff yourself, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and felt sexy at what you were looking at? It's been my experience that if a woman doesn't feel sexy about herself then she becomes insecure.
 

dolfette

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i honestly don't see how he did anything wrong.
she touched his sleeve and fluttered her lashes?
urm...yeah...that's how some women flirt.
he was a lone man and she was likely tired & bored shitless.
she pulled it back a notch when you arrived.
he still laughed and joked? well...that's kinda normal.
should he start being rude to her just because you had an attack of the green eyed monster? IMHO, an unreasonable expectation.

there was laughing, joking and a sleeve tug.
had he grabbed boob or snogged her i would get it.
 

ManofThunder

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(Prepare for a gem of anti-wisdom from ManofThunder.) I agree with a lot of what's been said. In my view, flirting is fine as long as it doesn't go beyond mere flirting. If it turns into a chat-up line, then things can get a little uncomfortable. As a single man, I flirt all the time. However, I also flirt when in a relationship. You need to define 'flirt' - some people are hurt/annoyed by a simple compliment. As has been stated previously, you need to stay within the boundaries of your relationship, but no harm is done by a little banter between two people. The truth is, if you have an attractive partner - they are going to receive some attention. (I use 'attractive' broadly, as it is many things to many people.) It's all about trust and the abuse of it. You should know your partner isn't going to cheat - that should be mutual. As long as they don't cross that pre-set line, there's no problem. In a relationship or not, if a lady is a little flirty with me, I respond in kind. It feels rude to just ignore or shrug her off. Besides, it's flattering. Smiling at someone doesn't mean you wish to have sex with them and saying "I like your hair" doesn't mean you're a hair-rapist in your spare time. I was once accused of being 'creepy' for liking hair. Don't you want to play with it? It's normal, I tell you!
 
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I've noticed women are a lot like celestial bodies when it comes to flirting and sexual promiscuity. Insecurity is like mass, and the attention they crave is like the resulting gravity from said mass. The more insecure she is, the more attention she's going to crave in order to sustain her self image. Sometimes their insecurity reaches some kind of critical mass, and then they just turn into an outright slut (or a star lol). Not even trying to be disrespectful, it's just the way of the world...