Women coming on strong

monstro

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Ah, of course, it's all Ellie's fault. Bad Ellie, bad!! Blow-jobs and sandwiches all round!

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying it's Ellie's 'fault'...my intent, admittedly drunkenly and without much prior forethought, was to simply ask for a reconsideration of the way the question was formulated. My interest in her post, and all the posts here, is primarily textual. I realize that's not how most people read these things, but whatever....

My intent was to move from the general to the specific...to move from 'women coming on strong' whatever that might possibly mean, to the actual incident itself, and the players involved. Admittedly, this is pretty weird and of very little interest to anyone other than myself. If you wish to argue then I cede the floor--you win--feel free to do a victory dance.

Ultimately, as I see it--and I'm crazy, so take that for what it's worth--the great majority of the things that are posted on LPSG are syntaxtical formulations full of presuppositions, general statements, and assumptions. Myself included.
 
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EllieP

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Well, the original question was lost in the fray, I'm afraid. Seems my emotions got more press than what I asked: do women come on stronger with their flirting?

I'm talking real flirting, not whistling on the street or calling out from cars. I'm talking one on one flirting. And I guess I mean flirting with a purpose. I flirt all the time, but it's more for entertainment, not to achieve a goal.

I realize I'm not representative of all women, but it appears there are some who will do whatever it takes to achieve their goal. Am I wrong in assuming this?

I know most of the guy's angles and methods, but the more effective ones don't seem to be as over the top, at least what I've experienced.
 

dolfette

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we are, in general, smaller in stature and less intimidating than men. i don't think it's that either gender is more outrageous by nature. i think it's that most boys grow accustomed to getting away with less.
 

ShannonH

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I think people will use whatever works. There are plenty of guys who will happily go for a girl who's being a shameless flirt, but more women who prefer that a man be more subtle.

Personally I really prefer a woman who makes me work for it a bit more.
 

nicenycdick

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In answer to the questions posed: I think men are less hesitant to "put it all out there", for many reasons. First, it is usually the man who is aggressive in these things, and we do so with a knowledge that rejection may be imminent. This damps down our presentation...we can always deny that we were interested in the first place. Second, women are not, it seems, solely interested in how a man may look; flaunting ourselves physically may not work for men as well in most social situations. Men are much more enamored with the physical and if a woman has what men want (tits, ass, etc.), she can grab our attention easily. When a woman comes on strong, therefore, she may well have a captive audience.

For the reasons stated above (and they are rather simplistic, I agree), women may have the power to use their physical sexuality more effectively than men. And, yes, some do so.

Maybe...
 

justacynic

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Well, the original question was lost in the fray, I'm afraid. Seems my emotions got more press than what I asked: do women come on stronger with their flirting?

I'm talking real flirting, not whistling on the street or calling out from cars. I'm talking one on one flirting. And I guess I mean flirting with a purpose. I flirt all the time, but it's more for entertainment, not to achieve a goal.

I realize I'm not representative of all women, but it appears there are some who will do whatever it takes to achieve their goal. Am I wrong in assuming this?

I know most of the guy's angles and methods, but the more effective ones don't seem to be as over the top, at least what I've experienced.

Women "flirting" generally comes across to me as just being nice/making conversation. I typically do not pick up on it, which I do not believe to be atypical for men. Some women get that and are accordingly more aggressive by doing something like initiating physical contact. Hand on the shoulder and such. then again, there was a gal that kept accidently brushing my arm with her breast while we talked at a club and I *still* didn't understand that she was coming on (heavily) to me. Just simply tell me you want to fuck and I'll get it! LOL
 

Jillang

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I don't know about all women but I had something similar happen in a restaurant. Waitress totally chatted up my husband and practically scowled at me while taking my order. My husband was completely oblivious to it and needless to say I was incensed.

Needless to say she found her tip at the bottom of a dirty dish.

Ha ha, I work part time as a server and we are trained to compliment the couples because it's better for the tip and puts people at ease. I'm not sure about her but like, nice purse, I like your haircut where do you get it done, you make a cute couple, or nice shirt are as far as I'll go though.
 
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I dont even know how to say this..but here goes. Women especially attractive women get male attention ALL the time. The older men get the LESS attention they get from pretty young things...let him have his fun..He seems like he only loves you ellie. YOU get attention from men here all the fime..and from your pic I have a feeling outside too...I wouldnt worry about it.:)
 

EllieP

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I dont even know how to say this..but here goes. Women especially attractive women get male attention ALL the time. The older men get the LESS attention they get from pretty young things...let him have his fun..He seems like he only loves you ellie. YOU get attention from men here all the fime..and from your pic I have a feeling outside too...I wouldnt worry about it.:)

Believe it or not my husband gets much more attention than I do. He's an entertainer, so he's very comfortable with attention from strangers. The kind of attention he gets is different than what I get, however.

He's handsome, but he looks so approachable. Think Dennis Quaid with a beard.

I think that's what does it for him - talent and looks and friendliness. He claims he wasn't nearly as friendly before we were married. I'm glad I anchored him!

He says I'm the one that looks unapproachable. Sometimes I wish, but I don't think so. I think I'm a lot friendlier than him.

Oh, by the way, we've been back to that market a few times and the checker is still there, sometimes she bags our groceries. She is very friendly, and I am friendly right back. No grudges. She'll still acknowledges Cap with a hello. I tease him about it.

Let me just say that it was never a major episode with us, but it made me think about why some women flirt so strongly sometimes. I've never been quite that bold with a stranger. Now with Cap I'll flirt his clothes off. I know. I've done it many times!
 

D_DanLather

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I would say women can be as bad as men....so it depends on the woman, just like it depends on the man....

I had a woman in college come up to me after having been saying Hi to her in the mornings for a couple weeks, ask me to go to lunch with her, mind you we have only been saying HI did not know her name or anything else about her....So at lunch we have nice chat and then she asks me what I am doing this weekend and I told her no big plans, she flat out asks me to come up to her house and have sex, and then asked me what kind of protection I liked...So pretty straight forward and aggressive...

Different college, was working out in the weight room, and had this young gal watching me, every day I was lifting she was there, finally one day I was having trouble with my bench and there she was to help spot me which I thought was cool. Well she then stayed right with me thru the whole work out, not saying anything just giving me smiles when I looked at her. At the end of my work out she asked me what I was going to do next, and I told her go back to my apartment and take a shower and probably go cruise the mall. She asked if she could come back to my apartment and wash my back, and then let nature take its course...I smiled at her and said how about a hug for now, she latched onto me like a vise...She was persistent on seeing me at the gym, but I didn't have any attraction to her.

Had another young lady at the school library that I had been talking too off and on, and there I was down on my knees looking for a book, she comes walking up in a tube top and short blue jean skirt, I look up and see her looking down and smiling at me, I said hi, and told her I was looking for a particular book, then she said I have something for you to look at, and when I looked up to say something she grabbed my head with both hands and shoved my face into her crotch, she had panties on, but still, then she let go of me and laughed as she walked off....

I could go on, but I would say that women can be passive or they can be aggressive when it comes to the opposite sex. Just remember your husband came home with you, its not like he was trying to get laid, and its not a bad thing for him to flirt, you get to benefit from the stimulus, well probably not that evening since he knew you were pissed...Also as men get older we like to know we are still attractive to the opposite sex, its just our way of saying Cool I am not too old out of shape yet that women don't find me attractive...

However your husband should take it as a compliment that you got upset, just tells him that you love him and want him to be your very own, which is not a bad thing to know as well. Maybe you should have slapped him on the ass and told him to knock it off playfully and told him I will be taking care of you when we get home and gave him a seductive smile, that would have woke him up, and that would have let the young gal know that you can look but I am going to fuck him when I get home and you can't.
 

dolfette

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men have followed me down the street.
total strangers have physically tried to pry me off the guy i'm with and out the door with them.
you dont get much more strong than that.
the worse a woman has done is get a little kiss-rapey.
 
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Do not know if this is comming on strong. Have had it happen a few times where females have approached me at nightclubs kissed me, then place a piece of paper in my pocket with their name and phone number on it.

Two of them turned out to be sane.
 

very_hairy

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After reading many of these posts, though not all, I have to say - some of you are very ignorant and over-bearing. Sure, Ellie may not want girls flirting with the hubby, well, don't marry a guy girls will find good looking. Don't want him to flirt back? Talk to him about it - it is human nature to want to feel wanted, so it's hard to not. Anyways, I don't think he did anything wrong. You're mad at him for talking to someone :rolleyes:- think about how childish that sounds.
 

EllieP

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After reading many of these posts, though not all, I have to say - some of you are very ignorant and over-bearing. Sure, Ellie may not want girls flirting with the hubby, well, don't marry a guy girls will find good looking. Don't want him to flirt back? Talk to him about it - it is human nature to want to feel wanted, so it's hard to not. Anyways, I don't think he did anything wrong. You're mad at him for talking to someone :rolleyes:- think about how childish that sounds.

You're funny! I was made at him for talking to someone who was almost exposing her breasts to him and, while he knew I was not fond of that he kept going. Childish? OK, I'll give you that. So?
 

MoneyForNothing

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I've noticed women are a lot like celestial bodies when it comes to flirting and sexual promiscuity. Insecurity is like mass, and the attention they crave is like the resulting gravity from said mass. The more insecure she is, the more attention she's going to crave in order to sustain her self image. Sometimes their insecurity reaches some kind of critical mass, and then they just turn into an outright slut (or a star lol). Not even trying to be disrespectful, it's just the way of the world...

That's yet another well polished turd of propaganda that bible thumpers and similar types use to socially attack people that behave outside of their codex. Common sense and scientific knowledge: people seek security mainly in uniformity. They don't risk stigmatism. Especially women, who are intrinsically more conformist and particularly subject to stigmatism for "promiscuity". Real explanations such as above average hormonalization (as in african women versus asian women) will suffice. No need for proliferation of urban legends that get it exactly backward.