Women & "Coming"

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Symphonic, May 15, 2008.

  1. Symphonic

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    My sexual partner feels the urge to "cum" but can't from intercourse alone even though she feels the urge so badly. I wonder if it's possible at all; she's come before from my penis alone, but now...

    Am I a failure? What's going on? D:
     
  2. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    Need more info, does she come from digital stimulation of her clitoris or when you eat her out?
     
  3. B_HornyPrincezz

    B_HornyPrincezz New Member

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    Alot more foreplay is needed I guess. Maybe she's not feeling the same old crap day in day out. She might need you to spice things up a little, something like pre-foreplay lol what I mean by that is take her to a nice romantic dinner or any night out and make her feel so special that she really is buggin for sex with you. This should make the sex alot more kinky, therefore stimulation would be greater.

    But hey, don't listen to me; between me and my friends, I'm never the one to ask for sexual advice. :D

    x x x
     
  4. Symphonic

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    More Info: We do a lot of foreplay, and she can cum ti a vibrator ( apparently ) but she can't to my tongue. Apparently she's been trained? Or maybe I am unskilled!
     
  5. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Sounds more psychological than anything else if she's cum from sex with you before. Perhaps she's stressed about something. Are you two having other issues?

    Just saw your previous post. Her clit's been trained to need a high vibration to cum. Ask her to lay off the vibe for a bit and you can probably make her cum with your tongue.
     
  6. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    How and when women have orgasms varies a ton from woman to woman.

    To be frank the fact that she doesn't come from oral sex means that at least for now you have a woman that doesn't orgasm easily, so I wouldn't feel bad at all that she doesn't come during intercourse.

    However, pretty much any woman's ability to orgasm can definetly be improved. Here's what you can do to work on it.

    Most importantly, don't make this a big issue with her, that definitely won't help, being relaxed and not under pressure is crucial to a woman being able to orgasm.

    You need to focus first on getting her to come from clitoral stimulation. Talk to her during a relaxed intimate moment and have her show you how she likes her clitoris to be stimulated. This varies a lot from some women that like a very gentle touch to women that need their clitoris rubbed pretty much as hard as you can to orgasm.

    Once you have learned how she likes her clitoris stimulated, while doing that focus on some verbal stimulation for her. Generally women will get excited hearing how attractive you find them, how hot they are, how nice their breasts/ass/whatever are, how you have to jerk off when they're not around, etc., play with this and find the kind of words she likes to hear.

    At the same time, search for the areas of her body that she also likes stimulated while you are working on her clitoris, for some women this can be her neck, her ears or her nipples, play with this to find the hot spots.

    Regarding oral sex, most women like to be penetrated with fingers while you are licking their clitoris, and you should also be stimulating her G spot with those fingers. Take two fingers and insert them, and search for her G spot. This is a slightly spongy area about 1-1/2" in on the top of the vagina, massage this with the tips of your fingers in a "come here" motion.

    Some women initially will not have much sensitivity on their G spot, but with my ex-wife I found that they can develop this sensitivity over time. We went from just massaging it for the hell of it, and then to "that feels good" and finally up to the point where she would squirt heavily and orgasm from G spot stimulation (man the first time I got a face full from that was really fun).

    Some women enjoy anal stimulation with a finger tip during oral sex, so experiment with this if you haven't already. Start very gently and see how she reacts.

    Some women will get very excited from full hand stimulation in their vagina during oral sex, to play with this keep adding fingers until you get up to 4 if she keeps enjoying it, and put pressure on to insert the fingers as you work over her clitoris with your tongue. If she likes it she'll push her hips towards your hand (man do I love the first time that happens with a woman, you've got a live one and now its on).

    To be honest if she doesn't climax from oral sex, at least right now its not going to be easy to get her to climax from penetration, but as I said earlier women can gain this ability over time. Not right away, its not a quick process, but it can happen.

    Some men don't like vibrators in the love making process, but I actually like them if it helps the woman get off. I would recommend having her use a vibrator on her clitoris while you fuck her in the doggy position (I like the "pocket rocket" model vibrator for this because its not too big and clumsy and its easy for them to hold). I'd be surprised if she didn't orgasm with this setup, and it may over time help her to orgasm from penetration alone.

    However you need to be realistic, the fact is that many women never orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, and you might have to accept that with this woman.

    I had a girlfriend that could only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. I would just make sure she came from either my fingers or my tongue on her clit before we went to full fucking. She liked the fucking part too, it felt good for her while we did it, we just didn't stress about her not coming from that and it was good for both of us.

    Good luck-

    CalBoy
     
  7. englandgirl

    englandgirl New Member

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    bring her 2 the brink of orgasm either with a vibe or yr tongue,then when shes on the verge of cumming put yr cock in her,all the way in so yr pubic areas rubbing against her clit,then move 2gether get the rhythum going,move as 1,u make yr hips rise and fall but leave yr cock in deep,not in and out,just in deep keep ur bodies joined on her clit,she'll definately orgasm like that.
     
  8. Symphonic

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    I've given up on sex. I told her to enjoy her vibrator; she doesn't seem to mind though. n_n'

    Thanks for the tips!
     
  9. B_KOKOBWARE

    B_KOKOBWARE New Member

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    Wow I will try this:biggrin1:
     
  10. Honey123

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    Great advice CalBoy... nice to see a man eager to put in so much effort and time into pleasing a woman. I could use some of that kind of loving dedication.
     
  11. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Let her use her vibrator on her clit while you fuck her. That way she will get used to the feeling of having you inside of her when she cums. Eventually if she uses it less and less during sex she will get used to yu making her cum without the vibrator
     
  12. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    Honey123, I'll agree taken out of context that quote sounds like I don't give a fuck about women's sexual satisfaction, but if you read the whole response I wrote I think you will come to a more correct conclusion that I actually care a great deal. In the quote I was trying to say that he shouldn't feel that there is something wrong either with her or himself, but I can see how it didn't read that way. The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of women that don't orgasm easily through intercourse only, and neither of them should stress over that.

    I didn't say to stop trying, and gave him some tips on how to push her over the edge. Personally I'm a hard worker that "never says die" when it comes to trying to make a woman feel good, I'll go for hours doing whatever it takes, a tongue in the ass, a big dildo in them while they use a vibrator (I actually like that a lot, its very relaxing to watch women come this way without worrying about popping too soon yourself), I don't care what it is as long as it feels good to them.

    I'll prove this to you if you like...

    CalBoy
     
  13. Honey123

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    Perhaps my response wasn't well worded... you sound like a man that is very intent on pleasing his lover, which is good. But too much of a good thing can be bad. Sometimes when my man has put too much attention on making me cum, it almost eliminates my ability to do so.

    What I was trying to get at is that sometimes a woman just wants to enjoy sex without there being any focus on her orgasm. I dislike it when a man repeatedly tries to find ways to push me over the edge. Just let it come naturally. Communication and trust in the relationship outside of bed are the two biggest things that influence my sexual satisfaction. If I'm unhappy in the kitchen, ain't no way I'm gonna scream "give it to me more baby" in the bedroom.

    Don't give up, try new things and explore those things that stimulate her... but don't make it the entire focus AND if you feel like it has become the driving force in bed, then let it go for a while - take a break from trying to make her cum and just enjoy each other in bed. It'll happen when it happens... when she's ready.

    Oh, and what I said yesterday was that you were giving great advice and it sounded like you put a lot of effort into pleasing your woman. Sorry if my excerpt didn't quite capture what I meant to say.

    Honey123
     
  14. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    Geez Honey123, I guess we both misinterpreted each other's responses, but I think we're now in violent agreement and your last post had some very insightful and nicely written comments.

    I wish I could try putting them to use, with my current life situation sex is only a "spectator sport" (and I guess "one man band") operation for me now.

    I like reading this forum though, there's some pretty arousing stuff on here and a pretty good mix of people and experiences.

    CalBoy
     
  15. Honey123

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    So why is it a loner activity for you? I thought you were married.
     
  16. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    Honey, I'm not meaning to drop a sob story on you, but I'm in a messy situation with a woman that has a lot of emotional and substance abuse problems with our kids also in the picture. Trying to give them as close to a normal upbringing as possible with this messy situation hasn't left any space or time for a girlfriend. Hopefully some day, or maybe I'll meet somebody that's in the middle of as big a mess as I am and we can commiserate while we diddle each other.

    CalBoy
     
  17. B_jacknapier

    B_jacknapier New Member

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    I could never be with a woman long-term if she couldn't orgasm from sex. It's just too important to me.
     
  18. Honey123

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    I could never be with someone that expected orgasm from sex - if they expected it everytime or even most the time. I cum when I cum and sometimes it just isn't there.
     
  19. Honey123

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    I hope you aren't being an enabler and accidently making the situation worse. I'm sober - have been for oh, forever... 28 or 29 years. I forget.
     
  20. CalBoy101

    CalBoy101 New Member

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    I think I was for a while, I didn't really understand addiction, but I'm being very black and white about the situation now and it will be for the better for everybody.

    Nice knockers by the way, I got a nice twinge in my loin when I pulled up your pics. Its still there.

    CalBoy
     
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