Women--how High Is Your Gullibility Quotient?

thirteenbyseven

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Here is another topic to entice, infuriate or ignore. Over this past Easter weekend I listened to an overnight radio show where the guest was a middle-aged woman name Abby Ellin. Ellin is out on a national book tour peddling her tale of female woe and male deceit, something that should sell as fast as Big Macs and Starbucks coffee given the present state of sexual politics in America. Just as I was about to change to a sports talk station I began listening to her case history. It was so riveting and unintentionally comical that I lay in bed shaking my head and laughing.

"He was not my type."

On her first date in 2010 he took her to the Four Seasons hotel in New York for dinner. She was 42 and single and he was 58, scrawny, under six-feet with a large proboscis, receding hair and an overbite with large "Mr. Ed" capped teeth. But he was also a doctor, something held in high-esteem in her cultural background and seemed genuinely interested in her. They went home to her place.

"We kissed, got naked, rolled around on the bed, and then....nothing."
"Sometimes it doesn't work, he said. "I'll do better next time."


After that somewhat disappointing relationship debut, Abby quickly learned her new boyfriend was (seemingly) much more than meets the eye. He said he was with the CIA, an ex-Navy SEAL and had been on a slew of top secret missions overseas for our government and had the medals to prove it. He worked for the Pentagon and was a Navy physician down at Guantanamo where the most high-profile captured al-Queda prisoners were taken. She began calling him "the Commander."

"How can you be in the military? You're Jewish?"
"There are seven of us," he deadpanned.


One would logically conclude a woman's suspicions would be aroused upon seeing this human dichotomy. Yet Abby eagerly listened in rapture as he heaped-on ever more preposterous, harrowing tales of being intricately involved with the capture of Osama bin Laden. This coming from an individual that looked more Anthony Weiner as Carlos Danger than a Navy SEAL, all of whom seem to be tall, muscular, ripped specimens out of a gay male wet dream.

"He gave me a necklace of cultured pearls from Mikimoto. But I knew they weren't."

Yet all good things must come to an end. "The Commander's" masquerade was exposed when had the gall to give her a necklace of minimal worth and call it a Mikimoto. Would any suitor of good intentions give a woman a Timex and call it an 18-carat Rolex Lady Datejust? Jewish-American princesses can detect a phony piece of jewelry a mile away!

Women of LPSG, how high--or low-- is your gullibility quotient when it comes to men? Some women are born with a built-in B.S. detector, yet some seemingly intelligent women are deceived and taken for a sometimes heartbreaking ride. Stories....we want stories!!!

 
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DaisyDoesIt

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You know how they say 'you can't cheat an honest man?"

I'm not after anything. I want to be single, I got lots of interests, friends, sex partners and money.

So---I like friendships, I like guys with decent values, I like good dancers, I like outdoor stuff , I like intelligence and people doing something with their lives. Absolute honesty is non negotiable.

I'm not into bullshit and it's easy not to step into any.
 

LaFemme

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I was deceived by a guy telling me he was single when he was actually married. There weren’t any clues. No furtive behaviour, he stayed all night, nothing. A friend clued me in by stating his surprise that I would date a married man with a pregnant wife. I curbed that guy in seconds.

I think sometimes that we deceive ourselves though by disregarding the signs because we want something to be true. We want him to be “too good to be true” so all those red flags get ignored. I know that any time I’ve ended up in a bad relationship, he indeed showed me who he was quite quickly - I just chose to ignore the signs, I wanted him to be “the one”. I didn’t trust myself enough.
 

EllieP

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Reading the original post I kept thinking of Simon in True Lies. "I'm not a real spy. I have to lie to women to get laid. I have a little dick. It's pathetic."

At one time I was a lot more gullible than today. But if you've got a story to tell me it better be entertaining because that's probably the only enjoyment either of us will get out of it.

I'm way too old for playing around. I'm a straight shooter, and if I find out you're not then move out of my way.

I don't get too impressed by many people. I was starstruck the first time I went to a music awards show until I found out that most of the performers were either neurotics wearing great masks or regular people who couldn't believe their luck. It's the stories of those regular people that I'd believe before anything else.

I'm not saying I never fell for a believable make-believe story, but I've learned a lot from them.

https://www.lpsg.com/xfa-blog-entry/bad-dates-2.3644/
 
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My gut is pretty accurate, so it isn't necessarily what fools me, but what I will accept.

From acquaintances, I may clock their inconsistencies/untruths/fantasies but I am unlikely to pull them up on it if it's not harmful. I'll smile and nod and leave them to it. I can even have great affection for someone who tells tall tales.

Places like here? Does it really matter? I may suspect someone is being untruthful. I may even get warning bells, but I may overlook it because... What's the harm to me? I otherwise find them entertaining and fun so I will accept them at face value. These things have a way of coming out sooner or later.

I couldn't be romantically involved or close friends with someone like that though, I'm pretty down to earth and I am attracted to other down to earth peeps.

The only times I have gotten into trouble were when I ignored my gut - usually because someone was endearing or fun. Is it gullibility if you know though?
 

MickeyLee

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Yeah, I don't suffer fools or liars. I got a high-tech bullshit detector set to ultra-sensetivity. First sign of deception or betrayal I am contemplating double Dutch with their lower intestines.

Now with friendships. If I like a person enough I will over look small exaggerations and wee fibs. Online people I am even more tolerating of bullshit and lies because the distance protects me against fallout or damage.

Often Fibber McGee's are pitied. How can you hate your life/self enough to play a vicious game of make believe.

Predatory liars are another beast. These cocksuckers need a swift fist to the throat. And several lessons in consequences. Fuck those people.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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My father didn't leave room for gullibility in me. My mother too, but pops went a little further in explaining how far some men will go in order to manipulate circumstances to suit their penises.

I question everything and everyone. I always have and always will.
 

LaFemme

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Yeah, I don't suffer fools or liars. I got a high-tech bullshit detector set to ultra-sensetivity. First sign of deception or betrayal I am contemplating double Dutch with their lower intestines.

Now with friendships. If I like a person enough I will over look small exaggerations and wee fibs. Online people I am even more tolerating of bullshit and lies because the distance protects me against fallout or damage.

Often Fibber McGee's are pitied. How can you hate your life/self enough to play a vicious game of make believe.

Predatory liars are another beast. These cocksuckers need a swift fist to the throat. And several lessons in consequences. Fuck those people.
You sound like my youngest. She is ready with a throat punch pretty much anytime! She does not suffer fools at all. You’d think an artist would be more gentle, but no - don’t bs her. She’ll stab you in the eye with her paintbrush!
 

MickeyLee

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You sound like my youngest. She is ready with a throat punch pretty much anytime! She does not suffer fools at all. You’d think an artist would be more gentle, but no - don’t bs her. She’ll stab you in the eye with her paintbrush!

Most people are surprised to know how most art chicks are bristling with improvisational weapons.
 

LaFemme

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Most people are surprised to know how most art chicks are bristling with improvisational weapons.
She has some deadly tools. I should know - I bought a bunch of them. She mostly paints, but she also draws. She’s the queen of sharps objects and deadly focus. :)
 
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thirteenbyseven

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I'm enjoying all the honest responses!

I didn't want to help Abby Ellin sell her book so I didn't provide an Amazon link. However I should add another interesting bit of her story. One fine day the Navy NCIS came a-knocking on her door and asked if her three-timing ex-fiancé had prescribed a whole lotta pain killing medication for her. She looked askance and answered no.

The pseudo-swashbuckling Navy SEAL- CIA- secret ops wannabe physician was arrested, convicted and sent to prison for writing illegal pain medication and not for being a pathological liar in matrimonial relationships with several women around the country. :broken_heart:
 
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Similar to @LaFemme 's "want something to be true".... mine is more of a "give the benefit of the doubt" until confirmed but proceed with caution. Not really gullible... more like "give them enough rope to hang themselves". When lies are confirmed, I open that trap door under the gallows and don't look back.
 

AlteredEgo

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I loved a sociopath. They make themselves your perfect match, and they'll stick to the act for as long as they are interested. In my case, he did it specifically to break my heart. Any kind of support I needed, or even just wanted, he provided without prompting. It was like he knew what I wanted before I did. He heard me order a breakfast once. From then on, anytime I slept in the same place as he did, I awoke to that breakfast. He drove hundreds of miles to help me with projects. He listened to me. Really listened. He saved my life once. I loved him so much. But he wasn't that guy.

I missed a red flag. A crack in the facade. I don't remember the exact context, but he said these exact words. "I don't even dislike you." I thought it was a joke. I laughed my face off. "I should hope not. I would expect you're not in the habit of spending this much time and energy on women you don't like. Plus, I know you love me."

He then told me a story of a woman who broke is heart, and even told me her name. I don't remember the story, nor her name. He said afterward that he spent a few years courting women, getting them to love him, and then breaking up with them once he was sure their love was real. Then he'd tell them, when they asked why, that it was because of... whatever her name was.

A week later, we were speaking on the phone, and he was fairly distracted after the first few minutes. I had to go to bed, so I said my goodnights, and then told him I loved him. Usually, he said it back. In fact, he usually said it first. This time, he said, "Do you know what love is?" I answered in the affirmative. "Then I believe you."

I have never heard his voice again.

I haven't done the work to prepare myself for something real. I don't trust my opinion of men anymore, so I just fuck them and keep the at arm's length. I just haven't felt like doing therapy. But I wouldn't inflict my mistrust on a dude who really wanted to love me.
 
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