Well Ladynsniffer/Marcus we're the same age and I respect your life-style choice but it's not for me, although we've had some similar experiences. During the time I was dating I was turned down for intercourse several times due to my size. Sometimes I would get oral or manual, and I would always give oral and manual. Sometimes there would be intercourse and on occasion it even provided some satisfaction for my partner. Usually though, it was one-and-done in dating terms.
I've been married once and for 32 years. My wife is older than I and very experienced sexually, not only did she have many lovers, some of them were very well hung. In the early days she portrayed herself as "pre-orgasmic" or even "frigid", I don't know if that was to not hurt my feelings (unlikely) or that's just what she thought she was. I do know that while she enjoys being worshipped orally, she never climaxes that way, it always comes down to penetration and that's where we had our problems. It was difficult to make "contact" with my small cock and the wetter she was, the tougher it got. Combine that will my quick trigger, and you have a recipe for an unsatisfying sex life for both of us.
Early on we considered "opening up", there was a friend who was in the 8-1/2-9 in range who would have participated. We stepped away from that precipice. I doubt our relationship would have survived it. I am not into humiliation or being dominated (which doesn't mean I'm not hen-pecked).
We found vibrators, dildos, and extensions on my penis that could help deliver "feeling" into her cavern. The extensions, while limiting my sensation, gave me the "porn-star experience" and enabled me to see the effect a big cock could have on her (and delayed my own ejaculation so I could go long enough to get her off). I can't do that just by myself. I enjoy those encounters.
They are rare these days, she's had some health problems from a genetic condition and one of the side effects of the treatment is that it thins her vaginal walls and makes intercourse painful. That doesn't mean by itself I'm a better fit, but it does mean she can't easily take the sizes she used to enjoy so much. She does get off on Jacuzzis, though.
It's not like she hasn't said hurtful things to me ("I don't know why we're together, I like big cocks!" "I can't feel anything!" "Are you erect?" "Is it in yet?" "Where's your dick?") but down deep she must have the wisdom to realize that you love someone and are with them not for what they have, but for who they are. After all, 32 years have passed.
The responses of some of the ladies here have been quite interesting. Not unlike some of my own experiences. As I have gotten older, I am of the opinion that a truly sexually aware and capable woman should be able to have a satisfying and enjoyable encounter with a man no matter what if they in fact like him.