i'd like to point out that this is an adult woman we're talking about, and not a child or a puppy or his property, and she has a mind of her own.
he does not ''get her off bc'',
he suggests that bc may be causing issues, opens up the discussion and then leaves her to decide for herself.
it may seem like nitpicking to you but language matters.
I agree with your post about him discussing the effects of the bc and how it's negatively impacting their relationship completely.
I've been with a woman whose sex drive died when she started on bc. Her sex drive died, and she was constantly emotional--crying at the smallest thing, getting angry, et cetera. She got off the bc after a month of trying to deal with it. The moodiness disappeared, but her sex drive never came back. It was immensely sad.
Probably the saddest part was that the death of her sex drive included a lack of interest in getting it back. She delayed going to see a doctor about it in spite of me insisting that sex was an important component of our relationship because she quite frankly didn't care about sex. She would get wet again, and her body would physically respond to sex, but during intercourse she was indifferent and despite orgasms and physical arousal, remained disinterested. It was quite strange actually.
Sadly, she never sought help to recover her original sex drive, which had been voracious. I say sadly because it was a major component of our breakup. Perhaps I sound shallow, but no enjoyable sex and no interest in improving it if it's not enjoyable was a dealbreaker.
Anyway, I would steer people away from thinking a reaction to bc that kills sex drive is related in any way to how attracted she is to her counterpart. For example, my ex who had those issues with bc was still attracted to me in all ways, but wasn't attracted to sex itself.
I'd say a strong approach would be to express to her how important sex is to you and that you need it to have a strong relationship. If she isn't willing to stop bc or see a doctor about it when you've told her that, it says that she's valuing clear skin over being with you and I think you probably know what you need to do from there.
I do fear this whole post was a waste.