Women: if you'll tolerate bad or mediocre sex, what constitutes average or good sex?

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

I went to Craig's List and posted a question to the women who might be reviewing that section.

All of the responses I got agreed with the earlier statement that "2 out of 3 men are horrible in bed".

In all, I might have had 7 to 10 women email me. Yeah, I know, not very statistically significant.

Out of those women, I only had one who said that the woman should take part of the blame for bad sex. She went on to elaborate that if a woman does NOT communicate with her partner then she really didn't have a right to complain.

I emailed her back saying that yeah, this "let me hold you by the hand as I break you in" might work for an inexperienced young man, but society kind of dictates to us men that that is NOT macho at all.

It would certainly get old after a while.

 

[str82fcuk]

I went to Craig's List and posted a question to the women who might be reviewing that section.

All of the responses I got agreed with the earlier statement that "2 out of 3 men are horrible in bed".

In all, I might have had 7 to 10 women email me. Yeah, I know, not very statistically significant.

Out of those women, I only had one who said that the woman should take part of the blame for bad sex. She went on to elaborate that if a woman does NOT communicate with her partner then she really didn't have a right to complain.

I emailed her back saying that yeah, this "let me hold you by the hand as I break you in" might work for an inexperienced young man, but society kind of dictates to us men that that is NOT macho at all.

It would certainly get old after a while.

Hmm. Well if anyone, for whatever reason, is unwilling to consider suggestions from his or her sexual partner, then I would say that they are, by definition, a bad lay ...

Equally, if anyone, for whatever reason does not make the effort to communicate their wishes, then it is hard to feel any sympathy for them if they are not satisfied by the result ....

I am really surprised that this point even has to be considered. I would only count it as bad sex if one tried and failed to adequately communicate ... Otherwise ... and with all due respect ... I would have to call it ... really ... well ... just for once I think I will have to hold my tongue just in case there are some reasonable explanations for this strange phenomenon ...

 

[W/In 1 Stand Dev]

I think a lot of women are kinda insecure about their looks and are too worried by what their lover would think of them if they said "Lick me like this," or "Finger me like that, " "Harder", "faster", "softer", "slower".

They don't want to be judged. Granted they're in the sack and about to do the deed, but they don't want to be thought of as easy or a slut.

I think.

Sad, but I think true.

The women folk have no idea what kind of experience their man has. I'm sure they are worried that they will piss off the man by giving him too much guidance.

They might think the man will take it as condescending, and get his feelings hurt.

Ahhhh..... jeeeeshhhss.... sex shouldn't be fraught with so many worries and emotions.

(on a side note, I would like a woman who was really good at giving a BJ, but I don't want to think about how she got so good

 

[Aplus]

I think a lot of women are kinda insecure about their looks and are too worried by what their lover would think of them if they said "Lick me like this," or "Finger me like that, " "Harder", "faster", "softer", "slower".

They don't want to be judged. Granted they're in the sack and about to do the deed, but they don't want to be thought of as easy or a slut.

I think.

Sad, but I think true.

The women folk have no idea what kind of experience their man has. I'm sure they are worried that they will piss off the man by giving him too much guidance.

They might think the man will take it as condescending, and get his feelings hurt.

Luckily not most of the women I've been with. In my experiences, sex has almost always gone better with a good amount of communication. And I don't believe that communication has to follow a clinical or textbook approach either. I suppose that is how a lot of people view it, but it doesn't have to be. If you wait, sometimes you'll be waiting a very long, or unfortunately, forever. That's no fun at all.

 

[str82fcuk]

Luckily not most of the women I've been with. In my experiences, sex has almost always gone better with a good amount of communication. And I don't believe that communication has to follow a clinical or textbook approach either. I suppose that is how a lot of people view it, but it doesn't have to be. If you wait, sometimes you'll be waiting a very long, or unfortunately, forever. That's no fun at all.

Yes it could be lucky for you Aplus or maybe you are just doing something right

unfortunately I never cease to be amazed at how many people seem to find it impossible to express things sensitively - in general and not only when it come to sex

It would take me too long to say more than really people
would be well advised to refrain from using the imperative mood (or tone) unless your partner is comfortable with that, and one might try avoid using the word 'you' as much as possible
Of course I am sure that I too could use quite a few pointers in this regard :redface:

anyway, sex being such a primarily animalistic thing, a lot of the best communication is not really verbal at all :tongue:

it's not difficult to indicate if something feels good or not so good :wink:

and if one has to use words then things like 'oh yes' and 'thats nice' are often sufficient to provide encouragement :smile:

If one wants to get into complicated stuff one should always try to preface what one is about to say with a term of endearment e.g. 'baby could we try' or 'darling that hurts a bit too much'

anyway surely this is all obvious and I dont need to say any of this :biggrin1: (actually I do remember having had the misfortune of getting trapped with one of the glum silent or too-cool-to-talk types )

 

[Not_Punny]

I know it wasn't intended that way, but I think this thread is a bit cruel to/about men.

Rare is the man who DOESN'T want to please his woman in bed. At least in the "Westernized world".

If a woman keeps on having a lousy time in the sack, IMO it's a 50/50 sharing of the responsibility. There are exceptions, such as the man being an overbearing oaf -- but then, surely a gal knows that before getting into bed?!

No-chemistry is ALSO something that one knows, long before getting into bed, so why hop into the sack unless they're some kind of chemistry?

IMO, if a woman is having trouble with lousy lovers, she oughta first take a long hard look at what SHE is or isn't doing in the sack.

- - - - - -

Men hate to ASK for directions. Why is the sack any different than the road?

 

[SereneBlue]

Rare is the man who DOESN'T want to please his woman in bed. At least in the "Westernized world".

In my experience some men didn't have the same ideas of what constitutes 'fun in the sack' as me. Plenty of them got ticked off at my suggestions.

Just one typical example: On a vacation with an old boyfriend I suggested using massage oil during foreplay. He looked at me with a sneer and said, "Ugh. I can tell you're a very experienced woman." He then got up and got dressed again. I was so hurt I got dressed in turn and left him to watch tv in the room alone. I fell asleep depressed that night. Great way to start a vacation, huh? And all because I made the whorish suggestion of using massage oil.

IMO, if a woman is having trouble with lousy lovers, she oughta first take a long hard look at what SHE is or isn't doing in the sack.

Was I the bad lay or was he? I don't know. Although I do know when I tried to make things better it led to arguments along with insinuations that I was a whore for suggesting such and such (such as massage oil or whipped cream). Unfortunately I now live with the regret of having wasted most of my 20's and 30's putting up with sex that disappointed and left me unsatisfied. Eventually my libido died because I dreaded sex so much. It is only now that I'm single again after all these years that I'm trying to rediscover my sexuality.

 

[TheRob]

I know it wasn't intended that way, but I think this thread is a bit cruel to/about men.

Rare is the man who DOESN'T want to please his woman in bed. At least in the "Westernized world".

If a woman keeps on having a lousy time in the sack, IMO it's a 50/50 sharing of the responsibility. There are exceptions, such as the man being an overbearing oaf -- but then, surely a gal knows that before getting into bed?!

No-chemistry is ALSO something that one knows, long before getting into bed, so why hop into the sack unless they're some kind of chemistry?

IMO, if a woman is having trouble with lousy lovers, she oughta first take a long hard look at what SHE is or isn't doing in the sack.

- - - - - -

Men hate to ASK for directions. Why is the sack any different than the road?

oh God I love you mary me RIGHT NOW!
lol

PS you are hot

 

[TheRob]

In my experience some men didn't have the same ideas of what constitutes 'fun in the sack' as me. Plenty of them got ticked off at my suggestions.

Just one typical example: On a vacation with an old boyfriend I suggested using massage oil during foreplay. He looked at me with a sneer and said, "Ugh. I can tell you're a very experienced woman." He then got up and got dressed again. I was so hurt I got dressed in turn and left him to watch tv in the room alone. I fell asleep depressed that night. Great way to start a vacation, huh? And all because I made the whorish suggestion of using massage oil.


Was I the bad lay or was he? I don't know. Although I do know when I tried to make things better it led to arguments along with insinuations that I was a whore for suggesting such and such (such as massage oil or whipped cream). Unfortunately I now live with the regret of having wasted most of my 20's and 30's putting up with sex that disappointed and left me unsatisfied. Eventually my libido died because I dreaded sex so much. It is only now that I'm single again after all these years that I'm trying to rediscover my sexuality.

that's a terrible thing to say to someone
I mean if you had asked for another guy to join in or something I culd see saying something but jeeze all you wanted was a massage
I'd be quite happy to massage a woman

 

[SereneBlue]

There's a guy I'm interested in now who holds the sincere belief that any woman who's had more than 10 sexual partners in a lifetime is a slut and whore. While he won't volunteer the information if the topic of women's sexuality comes up he won't hide his sincere belief about this either. The vast majority of women today he says fall within the boundaries of these definitions.

 

[Linda Sue]

There's a guy I'm interested in now who holds the sincere belief that any woman who's had more than 10 sexual partners in a lifetime is a slut and whore. While he won't volunteer the information if the topic of women's sexuality comes up he won't hide his sincere belief about this either. The vast majority of women today he says fall within the boundaries of these definitions.

Sounds like a hung-up, woman-hating creep to me. If a man has lots of conquests, he's a stud. A woman? She's a "whore." Give me a break. Any lover of mine who appreciates my love-making has all the men before him to thank.

 

[TheRob]

well it's his personal belief tho
he probubly feels the same way about men
I know I have similar standards formen and women
I know that both rush into sex far too soon these days

 

[SereneBlue]

well it's his personal belief tho
he probubly feels the same way about men
I know I have similar standards formen and women
I know that both rush into sex far too soon these days

Indeed he does hold men to the exact same standards. He also holds himself to these discriminating standards as well. One thing he isn't is a hypocrite. Which is more than I can say for most other men who hold similar beliefs.

 

[TheRob]

Indeed he does hold men to the exact same standards. He also holds himself to these discriminating standards as well. One thing he isn't is a hypocrite. Which is more than I can say for most other men who hold similar beliefs.

or most other women!

if he holds everyone to the same standard you can't really call him a sexist
sounds like he just wants the romantic ideal

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

The more I read, the more it sounds like most men are horrible in bed.

There are two people in bed, if the man's horrible the woman's allowing him to be. I don't tolerate bad sex, if it's less than amazing I'd guide him into being brilliant. Like I am

 

[Act2_Begins_Now]

There are two people in bed, if the man's horrible the woman's allowing him to be. I don't tolerate bad sex, if it's less than amazing I'd guide him into being brilliant. Like I am

Sometimes they have no interest in being guided.

 

[goodwood]

Men can have bad or average sex and still climax. - says NJ

No. No, no, no. This is not the case with this guy. If the woman does not cum - there is no point. I will hold off until she cums and is happy and if she doesn't, then I won't. I won't tolerate average sex where I cum and she puts up with me until I do.
Sex needs to fully involve her cumming like crazy and being completely satisfied.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

In those cases Act2 I find a baseball bat and a megaphone help

 

[str82fcuk]

In those cases Act2 I find a baseball bat and a megaphone help

I find those don't work with brick walls that are as thick as posts ,
but I am surprised at the number of people who insist on trying that
long after anything ...

anything ...

anything that ...

now what was it again that they were all there for in the first place ????

connection??? contact??? closeness??? communication???

funny how some people won't let go of the bat long after the game has been played and lost ...

 

[Principessa]

Sometimes they have no interest in being guided.

True! I once had a man so bad at oral sex I was sore for 2 days. He seemed to think eating pussy meant just that! He gnawed on my labia like it was an ear of corn. I firmly tapped his head with my fingers until he stopped. This was when I realized he was singing Home, Home on the range. Apparently he learned to eat pussy from Sam Kinnison. At that point I told him exactly what I needed in order to cum. He managed a few gentle licks then went back to munching on me. GRRRRR. At this point I realized he was incapable of pleasing me orally. So I basically scooted away, and when he tried to follow me, I put my feet on his shoulders and pushed him away firmly.:biggrin1: Needless to say that was our first and last encounter.

]Men can have bad or average sex and still climax. - says NJ

[/color]

No. No, no, no. This is not the case with this guy. Really? How bizzare If the woman does not cum - there is no point. I will hold off until she cums and is happy and if she doesn't, then I won't. I won't tolerate average sex where I cum and she puts up with me until I do. Sex needs to fully involve her cumming like crazy and being completely satisfied. May God bless you and keep you Goodwood. :smile: Men like you are few and far between. Sadly, I was 40 before I met one and he was just a fuckbuddy. :redface: Now that I know how truly great sex can be every time I have no intention of tolerating anything less.