Women: if you'll tolerate bad or mediocre sex, what constitutes average or good sex?

[Marina67]

So many great responses already! I'm late in this, but definitely want to add some feedback, starting with the initial questions.

In the past, I think I have had bad sex. It was too mechanical and/or the passion just wasn't there.

So, I'm curious. Once the "act" is over, do you mull it over in your mind..."mnn... yeah, that was just average sex."

What is average sex?

Are you happy with average sex?

Or do you always want something more or something better?

Or is this just a "grass is greener" thing?

Thanks,

Within One Stand Dev

<b>What is "average sex?"</b> For starters, I've probably had a lot less sex, and definitely a lot less decent sex than many, here. With that said, I think probably 80% of the sex I've ever had was mediocre or average, at best. Of the remaining 20%,I would say that most of that (I'll guess 3/4 of all the good to great) is attributable to one lover only. It was good to great based less so on physical technique, than emotional/mental variables. Though I have had very good mechanical sex, it has never been better than when the mental and emotional sex was in sync. Some of the other guys were proud of their techniques, but without the emotional/mental factor, it's never been as good as the other stuff. In short, average sex - to me - is when there's little/no heart and mind in it.

With that said, I've had years of "average" sex and in context of a relationship, it can be okay if we both just want that and little else.

Admittedly this also came from me having mediocre relationships for the most part. It took me years of finally realizing I didn't need/want some of those relationships and it was good to end them.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I think the main reason some people will tolerate bad or mediocre sex is that they don't know that's what they're getting. Not everyone having bad sex is complaining about it. Sometimes people will tell me about their experiences and it sounds like though they've never had anythng significantly different they've been wondering if they're missing out on something.

I was recently talking to a good friendwith whom I used to work. I remember her talking to me about her experiences when we were working together a few years ago. At that time I was having really amazing sex 4 days a week. I remember frequently thinking that I was having much better sex than she was, and wondering if I was just able to get off better, or if I was having better sex because I was in love, or if I was having better sex because my partner is better. In the intervening years, she began having better and better sex. And in our discussions about this, we've come to the conclusion that is is a combination of the factors I mentioned.

NJQT, this friend of mine recently got her pussy eaten by the dude who chewed on you. It has to have been the same dude. He's a few years older than you and in north Jersey, right? Please, please tell me there's only one dude that awful out there!

Marina 67, there is no such thing as wanting mediocre sex. If you want something and get it, then by definition it's excellent. After all, it is perfect: everything you want. If the word mediocre is anywhere near it, you're fooling yourself into thinking you wanted it so you'll feel better about getting it. You're settling. In your own way, you just added another answer to the OP's question. One more reason a person might tolerate mediocrity in their sexual encounters is if they are willing to tolerate mediocrity in general.