Women: is it true some guys just don't "do" foreplay?

[NYC8"]

This might be a total dumbass-level question and it's certainly something that seems like "common knowledge"--however, a lot of things that are "common knowledge" are also just widespread rumors and cliches.

So, ladies, in your experience, what was the percentage of men who wanted to take care of you, versus those who very clearly only wanted to throw it in ASAP? Is it mostly a cliche, or will lots of guys just "not do" whatever, even if they are aware that you (or most women) want it?

 

[GottaBigOne]

Awwww, look at you. You're such a good lover you could never understand how anyone could be a bad one. Hooray for you, you're such a stud!

 

[NYC8"]

I re-phrased it, are you happy now? This is a site where people have long and frequent discussions about whether size matters to women, if size is correlated with skin color or foot size, etc. I thought it was a fair question since it seems to be part of "common knowledge" as much as the others.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Yes, there are for sure guys who are selfish and pretty much only into their own pleasure. Trust me, I've dated them. I learned that lesson, though. The real shock for some other guys might be to learn that they aren't very good at it. I'm sure it's the same for some women when they go down on guys, too. The key is a) communication and b) a desire to make sure your partner feels pleasure, too.

There are reasons why 30 feels better than 18 ever did. :wink:

 

[MsLulu]

I'd rather have no foreplay than "minute man" any day. I've experienced both. Sometimes, honestly? I don't like a LOT of foreplay, I just want to get on with the sex. Other times, it's nice to build up to it.

 

[GottaBigOne]

I re-phrased it, are you happy now? This is a site where people have long and frequent discussions about whether size matters to women, if size is correlated with skin color or foot size, etc. I thought it was a fair question since it seems to be part of "common knowledge" as much as the others.

Calm down dude, just an innocent little jab. Grow a tougher layer of skin man.

 

[madame_zora]

Yes, there are for sure guys who are selfish and pretty much only into their own pleasure. Trust me, I've dated them. I learned that lesson, though. The real shock for some other guys might be to learn that they aren't very good at it. I'm sure it's the same for some women when they go down on guys, too. The key is a) communication and b) a desire to make sure your partner feels pleasure, too.

There are reasons why 30 feels better than 18 ever did. :wink:

I rarely find a guy who's interested enough to learn to give oral well. Usually I'd prefer to skip that part and go right to the main course.

Surfergirl, you are so right about communication, a lot of guys think that just because their last partner liked it a certain way menas the same thing will work for everyone else. I'm sure if I only had one standard blowjob technique there would be a lot of guys who would be bored to death.

Believe it or not, the 40's have been even better than my 30's for sexual enjoyment. I must be a slow learner!

 

[SurferGirlCA]

I rarely find a guy who's interested enough to learn to give oral well. Usually I'd prefer to skip that part and go right to the main course.

Surfergirl, you are so right about communication, a lot of guys think that just because their last partner liked it a certain way menas the same thing will work for everyone else. I'm sure if I only had one standard blowjob technique there would be a lot of guys who would be bored to death.

Believe it or not, the 40's have been even better than my 30's for sexual enjoyment. I must be a slow learner!

Well, I have something to look forward to in a few years, MZ. :wink: Yay!

I think another aspect of this is that guys watch porn and so they have a really strong idea about what THEY want a girl to do to them based on that. On the other hand, most porn that I've seen does not spend a lot of time focusing on pleasuring a woman orally, so guys are kinda flying blind down there. Also I am sure that a lot of girls don't feel comfortable giving pointers, so guys just do what they've always done and assume it's doing the trick. God forbid a man be made to feel he isn't sexuality incarnate all on his own. :tongue:

 

[B_Danceswithlamps]

I guess I would agree with men just plowing through. From what I have read and heard throughout my lifetime, A lot of guys just seem to care about themselves, and just plough through everything without much thought. Aparently, this translates into sex also. I would say if they only care about themselves, and what they are experiencing, then they don't deserve what they are getting. But that is just my uneducated opinion... :biggerGrin: :biggerGrin:

 

[SurferGirlCA]

I guess I would agree with men just plowing through. From what I have read and heard throughout my lifetime, A lot of guys just seem to care about themselves, and just plough through everything without much thought. Aparently, this translates into sex also. I would say if they only care about themselves, and what they are experiencing, then they don't deserve what they are getting. But that is just my uneducated opinion... :biggerGrin: :biggerGrin:

Exactly, mfoley! That's why they DON'T get it any more (from me, at least). :wink:

 

[ClaireTalon]

I'm not so playful, but I love myself some foreplaying, getting each other turned on, and taking care of all the spots and square inches of skin that give me extra pleasure. It shouldn't lead off the track to the real fucking though, but some playing with each other raise the intimacy level. And girls (guys too), don't forget the naughty kinds of foreplay, measuring and such.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Believe it or not, the 40's have been even better than my 30's for sexual enjoyment. I must be a slow learner!

The finest wines also take their time.

I am great at foreplay

"Brace yourself darling"

 

[AMikkell]

Amongst my friends, I don't know of anybody who refuses to do it, but it seems to me that a great many of them look upon it more as a chore, as another hoop they have to jump through to get what they want.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Amongst my friends, I don't know of anybody who refuses to do it, but it seems to me that a great many of them look upon it more as a chore, as another hoop they have to jump through to get what they want.

I wonder if they'd feel the same way if their girl felt the same way about going down on THEM. :wink:

 

[ClaireTalon]

<.>as another hoop they have to jump through to get what they want.

Lovely, couldn't have put it better, especially the hoop!

It's a shame that so many guys don't appreciate the foreplay as something to increase the mutal wanton. Also, I noticed so many proceed along an apparently set-in-stone theme: kissing - neck sucking - nipple licking - control grip (testing the wetness), so that I have to guide them to some more.

 

[AMikkell]

I wonder if they'd feel the same way if their girl felt the same way about going down on THEM. :wink:

I know some girls who do feel the same way about it, but he only asked about the guys.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Sex is better without the concept of foreplay. To call other activities foreplay is to reduce their importance in relation to penetration. This may be the thing you enjoy most, but reducing everything else is a phallo-centric nonsense that leads to bad sex and guys thinking in terms of hoops.

Amen

 

[madame_zora]

I know some girls who do feel the same way about it, but he only asked about the guys.

Yes, I think this is not exclusive to men, women frequently only give head because they know they're supposed to. Even then there are plenty who don't. I think a woman who is eager and able to give a good blow job is probably about as rare as a man who is actually good at and into giving oral.

Lordpendragon, you have a good point about foreplay, but I think it is a male/female difference again. I think for women, calling it a separate and distinct thing is less threatening, but for men it adds another chore. Go figure, we look at things differently and it clouds the issue for both.

 

[KidBrown]

Believe it or not, I've had the problem in the past where a woman has mentioned "just fuck me" and it weirds me out a little bit. It's funny what makes me anxious.....something like a small comment in regards to sex makes me queasy, but I can see an autopsy in person and not be phased.

Maybe I just take it wrong, but when I get the whole "I just wanna fuck" comment, it takes the fun out of sex for me. Animalistic fucking is fun for me every once in a great while, but it takes a special circumstance for me to like it. Generally I'm the kind that likes "making love". Sucks that most of the girls that are attracted to me are like "spank me, choke me, and fuck the shit outta me......leave the staring into my eyes somewhere else".......haha.

Christ, maybe I'm not tough at all anymore.....damn.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

Also I am sure that a lot of girls don't feel comfortable giving pointers, so guys just do what they've always done and assume it's doing the trick. God forbid a man be made to feel he isn't sexuality incarnate all on his own. :tongue:

I don't doubt that that's often true, but there are also quite a few women out there who don't give much feedback. On woman I knew barely made any noise and hardly moved the whole time. Not only was I sure she didn't enjoy it much, I wasn't that enthusiastic about seeing her again either. Later she told me she had a great time and wanted to do it again. She was surprised to find out that I don't know that.