Women Marrying Men who have a homosexual past!!!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by mattyacht, Aug 29, 2007.

  1. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 Banned

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    A) What do you call a 'large' penis?
    B) How would you define an 'attractive' one?
    C) Perhaps you'd like to post some pictures of your own 'large and attractive' penis, purely for illustrative purposes??
     
  2. B_blogboardbusters

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    For the third time, I'm not going to post a picture of my dick because I dont believe in exposing myself on the internet. I dont think its too much to ask that the people who do expose themselves at least use decent pictures
     
  3. Principessa

    Principessa Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your candor and honesty. That was what I was thinking all along.:smile:
     
  4. mattyacht

    mattyacht Well-Known Member

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    Marky Mark look alike!!! You don't believe in exposing yourself on the internet? Once again, "When people ride a high horse, hypocrisy is right there to bite them on the ass!!!" Face it, if guys weren't in here posting their cocks, you would not be in here either. A lot off them don't show their face; you have, if that's actually your face. If your coworkers saw your face in here talking about nothing but cock how pretty do you think that would be? You must be related to Senator Craig. Decent pictures? How fun would that be? Are you talking about decent cock shots?
     
  5. Eva

    Eva Well-Known Member

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    Okay, so yesterday was "rage" day in the house of Eva. I screamed at my radio the whole way home from work, I yelled at the television, I annoyed myself. This morning, I woke up with cramps and a craving for chocolate (which isn't my favourite except for one week of each month). Ahhhh.... I get it now.

    So, today isn't rage day and I can answer.

    Matt, a two things in your initial post kinda lit up light bulbs for me:
    --the word "tricking" as, in my mind, that means prostitution. I don't think I could seriously consider a life mate who was formerly a prostitute.
    --your personal details made it sound like an ad to me and the cunt in me just started typing. I apologise for that.

    As for my personal opinion on this.... I'm assuming that said man was never a prostitute and "tricking" is just a term for "fucking." I've dated several bi guys and don't really have an issue with it in general. However, the men I've dated would usually rate themselves as 50/50 on the % scale. If not 50/50, then they'd favour the straight over the rainbow.

    I would personally feel more comfortable in considering potential life-possibilities with someone who has had an equal or near equal amount of male-male to male-female relationships. If his past is mostly men or all men, I don't think I'd chance it.
     
  6. B_blogboardbusters

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    Hahaha, if you think my coworkers would have a problem with me being a member then you obviously dont know what I do. I work for a blog/forum review website and its my job to be here. Just like its my job to be on ratemyboobs.com, ratemybody.com, etc.
    You wish that you could make the kind of money that I make doing this. I thought at least looking at pictures of dicks would be a new and interesting experience. I didnt think it would make me ill, and believe me this will be evident when the website is finished.
     
  7. Not_Punny

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    If being paid to look at pictures makes you ill, complain to your bosses -- not the people who are creating and enjoying the website experience.

    I'm disappointed. I asked you not to disrupt this particular thread. There are a hundred other threads on this website.
     
  8. RedScrotum

    Gold Member Verified

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    well put, hotmilf
     
  9. B_blogboardbusters

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    I agreed to tone it down (assuming he would tone it down too), and instead he just keeps it going. I also cant stand when people dont get the facts right (ie that other thread where the guy said he fucked his cousin and then changed his post later). BBB doesn't let people pick which websites they want to do, if they did I would be on all the music forums.
     
  10. mattyacht

    mattyacht Well-Known Member

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    I thought you were in junoir college? Why college if you make so much money looking at "small ugly" cocks? Blogboardbusters!!! give me a break. That's your excuse.
     
  11. B_blogboardbusters

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    You've obviously never been a junior in college.
     
  12. chilipepper25

    chilipepper25 Well-Known Member

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    Honestly I wouldn't be able to be with a man in a serious relationship if he had considered himself more than 50% gay, and if he was exclusively dating men for many years I wouldn't quite believe that he would be able to suppress (maybe thats not an appropriate word) his desire for other men while he is dating/married to me. I only base this on the fact that I don't think I could ever truly stop being attracted to women....though most men don't seem to have much of an issue with that. Eh a bit hypocritical i suppose but i'm still trying to work out my own preferences.
     
  13. ploooooooop

    ploooooooop Banned

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    So you'd be fine with him wanting to fuck other women?

    You do know that gay men are able to control their lust?
     
  14. SpoiledPrincess

    SpoiledPrincess Well-Known Member

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    If you're in an exclusive relationship with someone it shouldn't matter whether it's women or men they're promising not to have sex with, they're promising to be faithful to you. Some women might be worried that they can't provide all his sexual needs but what about men who had formerly been with someone who was incredible in bed then find themselves with someone not so great, they still love her despite her not satisfying their sexual needs so well but she wouldn't feel that she couldn't compete sexually.
     
  15. mattyacht

    mattyacht Well-Known Member

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    OK Marky,
    Shall we call a truce? Tell me alittle more about BBB. If I wanted to work for them, how would I get in contact with them?

    Cheers,

    Mattyacht
     
  16. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink Banned

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    I really think that I would get along better with someone who was more intrested in males. I really think that I will have to marry a bisexual. I am highly intrested in and aroused by males who are into other males. It's probably something I should look into, because it isn't normal. But that is my life right now.
     
  17. biguy2738

    biguy2738 Well-Known Member

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    Mattyacht, I'd like to acknowledge the courage that it has taken for you to be willing to acknowledge and admit areas within yourself on such a public forum. You have laid yourself open to risk by allowing us to have a peak into your life and your vulnerabilities. I respect you greatly for it. Well done!

    I am certainly not a woman (last time I checked, that is :biggrin1: ) but I do see a need to respond to you because you have received good responses to your question, but I think some important points to be considered have been overlooked. I hope that my words do not sound too harsh or perhaps judgemental because in truth, that isn't the place that I am coming from...but I do need to be honest with you and with it comes the risk of causing you a bit of pain which if I were able to, I'd be more than happy to avoid...but I wouldn't be helping you in the process. Please know that I am aware that I am standing on the sacred ground of your life and that I have taken off my shoes in acknowledgement of that fact.

    I think that before you ask such a question to the ladies, there are key questions that you need to ask yourself. Perhaps you already have and I'm jumping to conclusions, forgive me if I have. And please, I don't need you to answer these questions for me, but you do need to give it a lot of thought and formulate answers for yourself. I can see that you are being serious and sincere in your approach so I have no doubt that you will honour yourself enough by finding your own inner truth for yourself.

    The biggest question that you need to ask yourself is: Why is important for me to enter into a heterosexual marriage (especially when looking at your preference)? You have mentioned that you have a fear of rejection but there's also the harsh words of your mother and possibly other people in your life. Some points to consider are: Two halves cannot make a whole. A life partner or spouse cannot complete the parts of you that are in need of wholeness, only you can do it. To expect somebody to do it for you would be unfair on them because they cannot possibly give you self esteem or confidence only you are able to allow yourself to claim it as part of your inner reality. Only you are able to bring healing to yourself. Any other approach will lead to a lot of disappointment and heartache. You also cannot allow others to decide what you inner truth is for you. You are you, you are the best you that you can be and in the midst of it all, you are a unique, sacred and unrepeatable gift to all of humanity. By sacrificing yourself for the sake of making others happy, you will be sacrificing your own happiness as well. In my opinion it is too high a price to pay, regardless of what role that person plays in your life.

    The other point to consider is that you are able to have a deep, committed, long term relationship...with another man. You do not need to sacrifice your inner truth for the sake of your inner desires, it is possible to attain both, however I need to point out that the question and the points of reflection still need to be taken into account.

    I know of women that have been willing to marry men that have been willing to marry them despite their homosexual past. I have also seen such marriages work, the thing though is, even though the marriages may be working, how happy are they in their marriages? How happy and fulfilled will you be in such a set up? You have spoken about being able to give a woman financial security, but what about emotional security, mental security and sexual security? Will parts of you have checked out from such a relationship?

    The other point of consideration is: To what extent are you willing to give up sexual relationships with men? This is a very important question to ask and it may be the one that may take you the longest to be able to answer to yourself with complete honesty. It's easy to say "I don't need to have sex with a man" the issue though is your inner reality may be screaming out "yes I do!" whilst you answer that. Living a fractured life will only lead to heartache. If you happen to be married and "slip up" with another man, though you cannot bear the blame for the "slip up" you will however be accountable for the effect that cheating on your wife will have on her...because you'd made an uninformed decision without taking the repercussions into account (by uninformed decision, I am speaking about going ahead with getting married despite you not really having "peace" within your complete reality. How will you handle your sexual urges? Most importantly, how will you cope with possibly meeting a man one day and wanting (almost to the point of needing) to make love with him?

    If your have already dealt with these issues and you are still at the point of wanting a heterosexual marriage, then the only advice that I can offer you if you'd like your marriage to work (let alone to want your marriage to take place) and I think that this is key: Trust. You need to leave no stone unturned for the sake of trust within your relationship. You need to bear in mind that your partner will have taken a huge risk to be willing to marry you and that risk needs to be honored all day, every day. The best way to honor it would be through trust. You need to make it possible for her to trust you. You need to allow her risk to set a standard for you - in the sense of never wanting to fail her trust.

    This level of trust can only be reached through a lot of openness and honesty...on all levels and in every way. Admittedly, doing so opens you up to the risk of losing her, however there are women out there with a high calibre, that not only deserve the truth painful as it may be, but have the inner mechanisms that enable them to sift through it all and find ways to cope with it constructively. Openness and honesty leads to trust which leads to a true sense of security. It doesn't happen overnight so I wouldn't encourage you to jump into marriage overnight, allow it to take time, allow yourself to build a strong and firm foundation stone - it will help lead you to your partner, most especially during times of "temptation".
     
  18. wonderland

    wonderland Well-Known Member

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    I couldn't marry a man I knew was bisexual. I have dated bi men before and I just prefer straight men. To each thier own.
     
  19. mattyacht

    mattyacht Well-Known Member

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    biguy2738,
    Thank you for your consideration and the time you took to respond. Some of the issues that you mentioned, I have already reckoned with. The times in the past when I've been with a woman, I can remember my ego soaring above my homosexual urges. Who knows though, I never was involved long enough to put the relationship to the test.
    The one relationship with a man that I did have lasted one year and a half. At first it was very exciting and enticing because it was the first time I'd ever been out around straight people namely, his family. He was so caring and charming and seemed to be able to remove all the dross off of my self esteem. Then he started requiring three-ways for fulfillment and eventually I was getting ignored when we were alone. It took three years for me to feel whole alone again. I realized that my whole self esteem hinged on having his admiration, affection, and approval. That's not healthy. Since then I have learned that my self esteem begins and ends with me. You are right, we are all a unique gift to the world.
    I also had an issue with my family, who is vehemently opposed to the homosexual lifestyle yet had their support through it all. I have a twin brother that I didn't talk to for two years because of his homophobia. He thought at one point in his life that all faggs ought to be lined up and shot. Today, we are closer than we have ever been. He realizes that for some poeple, it's not a choice but an endless aching need.
    After reading a lot of self esteem books, I discovered that I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. Criticism was somehow supposed to nuture. My overbearing explosive grandmother used to say that homosexuality caused the fall of the Roman Empire. All the while, I'm thinking how in the world could a man want to have sex with you and your attitude. She died one month after I met my lover. I'd didn't even go to her funeral. I was relieved that she never really found out that I was involved in homosexuality. Although, I'm sure she knew I had issues in that area. They say all mothers know.
    As far as the need for sex with a man anymore, I think I've sowed all those oats. However, I do realize that all men need affirmation and comradery of some sort from other males which I have not been able to find in the shallow and pretentious gay world that I've known. With all respect to gay poeple, I'm certainly not stereotyping. There is just so much promiscuity that I feel I can't engage in anymore. It doesn't fulfill anymore. Straight men, well I'm sorry, I'm just not a beer drinking pizza eating sportsfan.
    I know this is an endeavor that is going to take time and thought. It's not something that I need to jump into. This forum has definately given me a ray of hope. Before, I felt like I didn't have a prayer in hell. But I know pursuing a marriage with a loving, caring, and understanding woman is going to far outweight living in isolation even if it does fail. Then I won't be able to say I didn't try.
    You know, I did became an adult the child I used to be couldn't respect. I'm going to do my best to change that.
     
  20. blacktightfit

    blacktightfit Well-Known Member

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    Question, and I hope it isn't offensive. Why, if for the majority of your life been attracted to men, not want to have a long term, healthy relationship with another man? Why women now?

    My personal experience, when I dated a guy who I found out was bi, I kind of ran from it. It as to me a thing of he could never be happy with me, he wants to be with a guy, I can't be that for him. Any other way we were compatible, but I couldn't be in a relationship with him because to me it questioned why he wanted to be with me. Was he trying to "fight his urges" for men, trying to mainstream himself into the norms and ideals of society, or did he truly like me. I just knew down the road if he preferred guys, I couldn't deal with the fact that if we broke up and I saw him with a guy, it would be because I think there was something wrong with me.

    That is just my experience, for long term relationships you have to look at factors like that, it is something you definitely want to consider when dating a guy who has dated men the majority of his past, but has now decided to date women, in my opinion being gay or straight or bi isn't something you can change, you were born that way, and that is how you are wired, why fight it?
     
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