Women on Adult Matchmaking Sites - Scam or Legit?

B_cosmognosis

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The thing is, just as it is online, the majority of men who approach me for sex in person are unattractive to me for one reason or another. Actually, they all are. I hate to be approached face to face. It makes me really uncomfortable, and instantly scratches the dude off the list of possible candidates. There is no way under the sun that a man coming to talk to me in person is ever getting laid by me. My heart races, I go into panic mode and cannot wait to find a polite way to escape. But skipping my personal weirdness, even the vast majority of men I have ever approached to see if I wanted sex from them turned out to be either stupid, boring, cock-centric (that is, too much discussion of their giant dicks too soon without solicitation), or just not as physically attractive to me up close as they had been when I first spotted them. Of the ones I was still interested in sleeping with after a conversation, I still ended up not fucking most of them because I determined we were not looking for the exact same situation or had some other sexual incompatibility I didn't want to deal with. I really don't think that part is so odd. The fact is, I am actually sexually interested in very few men, and even fewer women from any given population. But that's true of a lot of people. A lot of people are very discriminating when it comes to sex partners. So adding the internet sites to my options was the obvious solution. And sorting men online is waaaaay easier than sorting them in person. Getting rid of rejects is even easier online.

I made the mistake of telling my first name to a guy in the post office once. (Or maybe it was the subway station, or the bus stop. I just remember it was my neighborhood.) I let him hold my hand so he could show me a trick. The trick turned out to just be him holding my hand. Cute, but still. . . creepy. Plus, he wasn't my type, and he'd approached me and I was already very nervous and uneasy. So I wished him a good day, and left. That guy followed me around every time he spotted me for YEARS. Online, I decide a guy just isn't doing it for me, and I send him a quick note telling him so and block him. BOOM! He's gone forever. If he recognizes me on another site and tries to reconnect, I simply ignore him until he goes away, or block him again. If he has my email address, I send him straight to Spam. If he has my cell phone number, I send his calls to VM. Easy.

I'm just going to have to keep asserting that you don't know what you're talking about. There is no real difference other than what venue happens to work best for each individual. Whether in person or online, I would still have the same ratio of rejections to acceptances. I just encountered more men online than in person who expressed an interest, so the number of rejections was higher, but the ratio of dudes in contact and rejected to dudes in contact and bedded is about the same.

This was very educational. Thank you. I don't think your 'weirdness' is as uncommon as you might think. It certainly makes perfect sense for you to have evolved a nearly perfect way of keeping your disappointments to a minimum and maximizing the quality of your interactions with the least amount of drama possible. I think many more women do this that we men are aware of.

My dating experience online...well, let's just say this. The first time I sat down and logged into a free chatroom, wearing my boxers and drinking a beer, and ended up getting laid that same night after a couple hours of conversation, my whole life changed. That was the beginning of a learning curve that continues to this day. I will again thank the above poster for contributing to my knowledge base.
 

B_Bjen2848

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He'll still need a dating service is all he wants is a casual lay with the occasional repeat customer or anything remotely similar to that. Why? Because women online are upfront about their agendas, even if they turn out to be mistaken about what they want. Women who think or know all they want is sex say so right away online. In person, a woman is far more likely to keep that information concealed for as long as possible, and may even deliberately delay sex so no one thinks she's a slut, even if she really just wants to meet up twice a week for sex and a slice of pizza. The women on this website are (for the most part) not likely to be that way, but we're the minority of women who are comfortable enough with sexuality to discuss in in minute detail with any and everyone on a website about large penises. You are prejudiced against online dating. That doesn't mean you're right that the OP should stop doing it.

By the way, it is never primarily a reader's responsibility to determine what a writer means. It is always primarily the writer's responsibility to write exactly what he means to write, and communicate clearly. Just sayin'.


that is true, the benefit with going online is that there is no need to bs, everyone knows what they want from the start, very business like lol

and yeah that's true, i need to work on that
 

B_Bjen2848

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The thing is, just as it is online, the majority of men who approach me for sex in person are unattractive to me for one reason or another. Actually, they all are. I hate to be approached face to face. It makes me really uncomfortable, and instantly scratches the dude off the list of possible candidates. There is no way under the sun that a man coming to talk to me in person is ever getting laid by me. My heart races, I go into panic mode and cannot wait to find a polite way to escape. But skipping my personal weirdness, even the vast majority of men I have ever approached to see if I wanted sex from them turned out to be either stupid, boring, cock-centric (that is, too much discussion of their giant dicks too soon without solicitation), or just not as physically attractive to me up close as they had been when I first spotted them. Of the ones I was still interested in sleeping with after a conversation, I still ended up not fucking most of them because I determined we were not looking for the exact same situation or had some other sexual incompatibility I didn't want to deal with. I really don't think that part is so odd. The fact is, I am actually sexually interested in very few men, and even fewer women from any given population. But that's true of a lot of people. A lot of people are very discriminating when it comes to sex partners. So adding the internet sites to my options was the obvious solution. And sorting men online is waaaaay easier than sorting them in person. Getting rid of rejects is even easier online.

I made the mistake of telling my first name to a guy in the post office once. (Or maybe it was the subway station, or the bus stop. I just remember it was my neighborhood.) I let him hold my hand so he could show me a trick. The trick turned out to just be him holding my hand. Cute, but still. . . creepy. Plus, he wasn't my type, and he'd approached me and I was already very nervous and uneasy. So I wished him a good day, and left. That guy followed me around every time he spotted me for YEARS. Online, I decide a guy just isn't doing it for me, and I send him a quick note telling him so and block him. BOOM! He's gone forever. If he recognizes me on another site and tries to reconnect, I simply ignore him until he goes away, or block him again. If he has my email address, I send him straight to Spam. If he has my cell phone number, I send his calls to VM. Easy.

I'm just going to have to keep asserting that you don't know what you're talking about. There is no real difference other than what venue happens to work best for each individual. Whether in person or online, I would still have the same ratio of rejections to acceptances. I just encountered more men online than in person who expressed an interest, so the number of rejections was higher, but the ratio of dudes in contact and rejected to dudes in contact and bedded is about the same.

haha yeah, i can see how much easier it is to just click the red "X" in the corner to get rid of a dude instead of trying to find a way out of an awkward sitch, and i wish i was as picky as you when it came to some of my sexual partners in the past, nothing worse than waking up still a little drunk from the night before and looking next to you in someone else's bed thinking "goddammit, not again"

and im sorry you have such a bad history with losers and creeps, nothing worse than a stalker, everyone has a few fatal attractions lol, i think it keeps me on my toes

and i see what you mean, if you don't like being approached at all in person, than being online and having a sense of control of who you want to talk to can definitly ease the mind, especially if you get approached by weirdo's all the time, which is a pretty common thing because there are some weird mofo's in the world

maybe i have my own bias against a website like that b/c they annoy me with all those pop ups every time i go on a porn website just to rub one out .. my whole thing is, if you can't attract women in real life in person, what makes you think you can attract them on a hookup site that most people only see when their pop up blocker decides to take a nap ... even if he is able to mask whatever it is that makes women turned off behind the computer screen, it will eventually show itself when they actually meet up .. i think people get confused that they are still talking to a human being when they are online, not just a computer screen
 

B_Bjen2848

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Not a hook-up site, but I remember the last published stats for OkCupid were almost 50/50 (I think it was 54% male, 46% female).


had no idea it was that close, but it doesn't surprise me because dating websites like okcupid, eharmony etc. are def a lot more popular and seem "clean", and i actually know a few ppl who have profiles on those types of websites .. id like to see the stats on the websites that you see on porn popups lol
 

AlteredEgo

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haha yeah, i can see how much easier it is to just click the red "X" in the corner to get rid of a dude instead of trying to find a way out of an awkward sitch, and i wish i was as picky as you when it came to some of my sexual partners in the past, nothing worse than waking up still a little drunk from the night before and looking next to you in someone else's bed thinking "goddammit, not again"

and im sorry you have such a bad history with losers and creeps, nothing worse than a stalker, everyone has a few fatal attractions lol, i think it keeps me on my toes

and i see what you mean, if you don't like being approached at all in person, than being online and having a sense of control of who you want to talk to can definitly ease the mind, especially if you get approached by weirdo's all the time, which is a pretty common thing because there are some weird mofo's in the world

maybe i have my own bias against a website like that b/c they annoy me with all those pop ups every time i go on a porn website just to rub one out .. my whole thing is, if you can't attract women in real life in person, what makes you think you can attract them on a hookup site that most people only see when their pop up blocker decides to take a nap ... even if he is able to mask whatever it is that makes women turned off behind the computer screen, it will eventually show itself when they actually meet up .. i think people get confused that they are still talking to a human being when they are online, not just a computer screen
Yeah, there are some weird mofos out there. That is an understatement!

Yeah, when I was looking for hook-ups, I didn't like the sites that showed up as banner ads on my online games and porn sites. The few I tried out were lame at best. A lot of people like AFF, but I just didn't. Anyway, pop-ups are very annoying. I could see how they would turn you off. And you're right. Some people do totally forget they are talking to a real person, and not a screen. I am guilty of that myself sometimes.
 

D_JuanAFock

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Also, what is up with chicks on AFF with the horrible "i am the equivalent of the baby jesus" attitude? Somebody that is 200 miles away from me messages me saying I should drop by, I tell her thats pretty far away and she basically replies saying "fuck you".

Really?
 
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KTF40

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no i dont think it is a waste of time for women, i said, because women get approached all the time for sex every day just living life, they don't need to even take the 5 minutes it took to make a profile on some website for it, because if they really want to get sex, they could .. im saying it would be a waste of time for the guy looking for the girl because the internet scene on websites like this or adult hookup sites have a guy:girl ratio of a shit ton:a handful .. yeah of course they can go on craigslist and find any guy they are looking for, but they don't even need to do that

Well I'm going to have to disagree with you there again because every single girl except for one that I have fucked, it has been via the internets through some sort of sexually driven ad either by the girl or me. And in the one case of the girl I didn't meet online, I met her through a recommendation by one of the girls that I did meet online. If you know what you're doing and have reasonable expectations, you can be successful. I'd probably be a virgin without the "internet scene".
 
D

deleted561537

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about 70-80% of the female profiles on AFF are fake. about 90-99% of that remaining 20-30% which are real, are "BBW" (not that theres anything wrong with that). it is what it is.