Women only seeing a guy as a brother

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Jojo51623, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Women what are some of the things you tell a guy that tells you he likes you as more than a friend but you don't feel the same? Recently I told a girl I have been good friends with that I was falling for her and she told me she just seen me as a brother. She has often told me that I'm handsome, cute, sexy and what not. We want the same things in life so I couldn't understand. Then I heard from a friend of both of ours that she told her she didn't find me attractive but that I was really sweet. So I'm just curious, besides the I see you more as a brother line what are other reasons women give when they don't have a physical attraction to a friend that might like them as more? Also do any girls here ever lie and tell a guy they find him attractive even if they don't?
     
    #1 Jojo51623, Mar 23, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2010
  2. dolfette

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    i know that my sister is cute, pretty, sexy.
    i tell her she looks cute, pretty sexy.
    that doesn't mean i'm attracted to her.

    have you ever listened to women talk?
    ''girlfriend, you look hot tonight! you'll blow him away!!''
    it doesn't mean they're all closet lesbians.

    in general, women compliment friends more than men.
    it's not leading you on. it's telling you you're an attractive guy.
    that you don't attract her doesn't change that.

    the chemistry just ain't there.
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    ^^^ What she said.
     
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    Thirded.

    Personally, I'd never tell a guy I was attracted to him if I wasn't.

    Saying "you're cute" is not the same thing as saying "I'm attracted to you".
     
  5. the_reverend

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    have you had circumstances where you WERE attracted to the guy, but because you saw him as a brother/too good a friend/etc., you didn't pursue it or explore it if he professed feelings/attraction for you?

    we often hear that the "perfect mate" is like a best friend you're attracted to...so in those instances, is it a matter of the sequencing? which is to say, if you see a person as a friend first but are attracted to them, you're less likely to pursue it than if you date someone you're attracted to and discover they're a good friend as well?
     
  6. dolfette

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    hmmm...

    i've had lots of guys i found attractive but wasn't sexually attracted to.

    for a sexual relationship i need some lust.

    also, attraction isn't enough to base a relationship on.
    there can be sexual tension and friendly affection with a guy who you just wouldn't enjoy being in a relationship with...and in those cases, can you blame a person for not wanting to fuck up a friendship?

    i think we too easily forget that lust doesn't make you compatible.
    and enjoying their company as a friend doesn't guarantee relationship compatibility either.
     
  7. Enid

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    Yeah what all the others said. She's not attracted to you personally but she thinks you are an attractive guy.

    Definitely not a matter of sequencing for me. If there was a friend I was also attracted to I'd just be out with it. I would pursue if there was mutual interest. If no mutual interest then I'd just leave it be.
     
  8. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Yes.My best friend is a guy and as handsome and funny as he is i just don't fancy him.We love eachother very much but like we were brother and sister.We have danced close,very close,but neither one of us felt aroused by it.Part of what drew us together was that we both come from the same part of the UK but both live in a different part of it.

    I have several other male friends who are very attractive but again i just don't fancy them.
     
  9. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Thanks, I hope that is how she feels. The way I took it was even my best friend thought I was ugly and unattractive but maybe it's my own self confidence that I know I have to work on. I just don't get why if she only see's me as a brother like she says that she seems to get jealous when I talk/flirt with other girls.
     
  10. rabbit12345

    rabbit12345 New Member

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    Are you one of those guys that is always there, a shoulder to cry on, someone to give advice about men/relationships?

    You would think this would make you an ideal boyfriend. Ironically this usually leaves you in the friend zone.

    I am not saying suddenly become horrible. Be friendly, but not a push over. There is a fine line between being a friend and being friendly.
     
  11. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Maybe she is afraid of other women taking her best pal away.I get pi$$ed off when R gets with women but that is usually as they are money grabbing conniving bitche$ (he's in a good job and isnt tight with money).

    As much as i love him and think he's attractive i wouldnt go there if he was the last man alive...........and thats the truth
     
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