women taking breaks

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by 7.7x5, Mar 25, 2010.

  1. 7.7x5

    7.7x5 New Member

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    I know there are probably a ton of these threads but I figure hearing some kind words even if its not what I want to hear are nicer when they are directed toward you. ANYWAY...

    Last week my girlfriend told me that no matter what, once the semester of college was over she wanted to be single over the summer and 'find herself' and she still loved me, at that point I told her that we should make sure this is what we still want while we were still nearby and so we broke up... I regretted it because I genuinely am in love with her, we flirted for about 4 or 5 months before dating for the better part of a year. I know she's genuine about finding herself as we've now been apart for a week and she hasn't even spoken to a guy and has pushed her friends away, after another two weeks (maybe one if i think things are doing well) I'd like to drop her a note tell her I miss her and hopefully see if we can get back together one day... any thoughts? I miss her like hell and wonder if this is forever or if I can be with the woman I love
     
  2. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    How old are you currently? I'm guessing somewhere in the 18-20 range, yes?
     
  3. BS76

    BS76 Active Member

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    "We need a break" translates to "I want some different cock for a while, I have some guys in mind, but if things don't work out with them I'll come crawling back to you in a few weeks or months."

    Women pull this stuff all the time. If she was fully happy with the relationship she wouldn't dare risk you running off with some other woman you might meet in the meantime. The relationship is effectively over until she gets her "grass is greener" crap out of her system. To be quite honest I wouldn't take her back, but that's just me.

    Under no circumstances are you to "reach out" or express any interest in being with her. She knows you're sitting at home waiting by the phone hoping she calls. You need to flip the script and the only way to do that is to cease all contact with her. Even better would be if you did in fact start seeing other women. Once she catches wind you're in demand and have options she'll spring back so fast it'll make your head spin.
     
    #3 BS76, Mar 26, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2010
  4. big_gp35

    big_gp35 New Member

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    Go easy there with the harsh advice guys! LOL Bro, would you rather her cheat and lie to you, or be honest like she is?

    College life means college influence from friends. All the guys telling her sweet nothings, her friends telling her she can do better or whatever, you're too young to be in a serious relationship etc.

    She sounds very mature by the fact that she's being up front with you. I would just try an take the stress off the situation and tell her that's fine, lets just have as much fun as possible til summer and whatever happens happens. Believe it or not, a cool headed approach like that is appreciated by most women. Shows confidence in yourself, and a maturity rarely seen in younger people.

    Good Luck.
     
  5. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    she looking for new pussystuffing. don't be surprised if you are done. oh, be a nice guy, and send her flowers or a card just in case I'm wrong.
     
  6. helgaleena

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    You are both awfully young. If you miss her, there is nothing wrong with telling her so by mail. That is not pressuring her, it's only expressing yourself.

    And try hard to do as she is doing. Keep your eyes open for other gals to try love with. Both of you will know so much more about yourselves and each other no matter how things turn out.
     
  7. the_reverend

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    i've been in similar positions before, and the best advice i can give is that it's perfectly all right to touch base here and there and let her know you still care about her and miss her, but don't pressure her or talk about "someday, we'll be together again" or be too clingy because that will just drive her away. also, while you can hope and be open to it coming around again, prepare and brace yourself for the possibility that it probably won't. sometimes it does and it's even stronger than before...sometimes it does and after a while you realize you've become different people and it's not going to work...but the best thing YOU can do is live your life and maybe do some self discovery on your own, so even if you don't wind up back together, you'll be ready for whatever comes next rather than wallowing and staying mired in the past.
     
  8. denton85

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    I agree with a couple of people on here. For the most part. She was to be single. Her motives are driven by passion. It's either passion about going out and discovering herself, or trying to find passion with another man. My guess it's mostly passion to find herself (from the fact that she cut herself off from her friends), but i guarantee in this journey to find herself, she is perfectly willing to fall in love with a someone else. I'm not saying she is going to have sex with guys left and right, and i'm not saying she is LOOKING to fall in love with another guy. All i'm saying she's not going to turn it away during this break.

    Keep in mind if after this break, if she finds someone and does fall in love with them, she will not comeback to you. (well not until they have broken up, then she might contact you and try to get back with you.)

    On the other hand, she may not even meet any guy, she may be celibate during this time period, and she may decide that being with you is not part of the "herself" that she has newly found.

    What i'm saying is... don't sit around and wait and hope she is going to call you. Go out with your friends, have fun. Meet other people maybe you'll find a girl you can date for a while, maybe you'll fall in love. Don't put your life on hold.

    If after this "break" she wants to get back with you, and you want the same thing, then you'll know down the line that both of you were on break. Because right now it's more like she is on break, and you are waiting and seeing. Doing that can lead to resentment later on if you do get back together.

    So do yourself a favor ... go out, and have fun.
     
  9. Incocknito

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    Don't contact her. That will just make you look like a pussy. If you're in a relationship it would be okay to tell her how you are feeling; that you miss her, etc.

    But you being all soft and saying "I miss you", "I can't wait to see you" is just going to make her more likely to fall into bed with a less soft kind of guy.

    If she wants to contact you then let her. Otherwise you should get on with your life. There's a very low probability that you will get back together and if you do its practically certain that things will not be the same.
     
  10. WSEATTLE

    WSEATTLE Well-Known Member

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    start looking elsewhere dude.. she is being selfish and using you as a safety net.. f that..
     
  11. marriedasian

    marriedasian Member

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    just let her go and do her thing. she probably wants to see what else is out there and it is her right to do that. whether or not you want to stand around and wait is up to you.

    i suggest you do the same. go and live a little. rather she go and do it now then do it behind your back.

    you must be young. be strong and go explore what options are for you. you don't revolve around her world and she doesn't you.
     
  12. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    Keep your distance and don't get clingy. You're both young, hence my first question. This is probably your first serious relationship and you thought it would last forever. The reality is that you both have soooooo much of life to experience. Especially in college! Not just the dark and seedy aspects of it. Your personality is going to change as you break away from the high school dramas and cliques and popularity contests. You and you're girl are going to have the opportunity to "discover" who you really are and what you want for the rest of your lives. Maybe you find each other again, maybe not. If you start calling her after only 2 weeks, you're simply going to push her away and completely miss the reason why she's doing this. You have to learn to live without her for awhile. If you can't do that, you'll be showing her your not a strong person individually and you're still just a kid.

    And then she REALLY won't want to be with you.
     
  13. vlls

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    This seems fishy bro, sorry.
    And also kind of selfish.
    If she really did want to find herself there's ways to do this that would not jeopardize the relationship... whatever you do, don't be naive about this
     
  14. BS76

    BS76 Active Member

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    Yup. This is exactly what I was saying. We're not telling you this because we're mean, we're telling you this because we've been through all this before time and time again and have learned from seeing it happen to friends & family.

    "We need a break" is her breaking up with you without all the drama and leaving the door open to get back together if things don't work out for her. She's being massively selfish about this as well in that she doesn't give two shits about how you feel about the split. This is all about her and getting her pussy stuffed by other cock. Forget everything she tells you and only listen to her actions. That's what will tell you the truth.
     
  15. hard8foru

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    its over bro....sorry
     
  16. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    You can just ask her if she prefers to date other guys for a while. Let her know you are okay that. Then say you will want to date other women. If after a few months, you come back together, you do so with the knowledge that you want each other more than you want other men or women.
     
  17. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    She is testing your worth. Test hers. There is a lot of women out there...enjoy.
     
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