This is by no means a black and white issue - not generally and not for the OP and his wife.
On the one hand I agree with dolf and redser, they are completely correct when they say that if she doesn't like dirty talk, ball licking, porn watching etc. then she should not feel obliged to do it. Also, justavrg, she has tried. She is trying. She's tried what you've asked and she doesn't like it. At what point are you going to draw the line and stop asking her to do stuff she's not comfortable with or (and) not turned on by?
On the other hand, I think that the the OP has just as much right to satisfying sex as his wife does. This idea that he should be grateful for being allowed to fuck her 3-4 times a week is crazy. Fuck's sake! If Hick just popped wood a few times a week to let me fuck him and just lay there I would not be happy. Why should a man be happy just because his wife consents to sex without seeming to want and enjoy it? (or not enjoy it as much, anyway) Yes, it is more than a lot of men get 11 years into a marriage - but that doesn't mean he has to be satisfied by that. He wants passion, connection, mutual pleasure. What's wrong with wanting that?
justavrg, I don't think your wife is at all repressed. She tries these things for you. She looked at this site and another with you - she tried ball licking - she's probably tried other stuff for you. But she doesn't like it. It is clear she wants to please you or she wouldn't be trying at all. But you need to stop assuming that what turns you on should turn her on. There is no 'should' about it.
You need to find some middle ground. You need to explore together and find stuff that turns you both on. Have you actually sat down and asked her what she fantasises about? Have you asked her what you do that she likes? What you don't do that she might like? Does she masturbate? If so is it clitoral stimulation, penetration, something else that most often brings her to orgasm? What does she think about when she's masturbating? Or does she not think at all, is it all about the sensation? Does she read erotic literature? If not, would she like to give it a try? (try literotica.com)
[Edit: I'm not expecting you to answer those questions here, it's stuff you need to go over with her.]
In short, if you want her to be passionate and sexual with you, to get as much pleasure from each other as you both can, then you need to be more open. The same old same old is not doing it for her - you change, you try new things. Maybe when she sees you trying to fit your needs to hers then she will meet you half way.