Women who can't stand clitoral stimulation?

[Serial Kisser]

Listen to your wife. The more you disrespect her reality by thinking this is a disfunction that needs to be validated, the less likely you'll get the desired results. If she doesn't like it, she means she doesn't like it.

If you're true motivation for asking this is to try being a better lover, be a better lover. Don't use this as a scapegoat. You sound insecure and stubborn. Passive aggressive may be a bit harsh. You seem deadset in your cornering and grilling her that somehow she needs to be "fixed".

Quit it and enjoy the fact that she's having orgasms in the first place.

What he said ^^^^

 

[INTP]

Listen to your wife. The more you disrespect her reality by thinking this is a disfunction that needs to be validated, the less likely you'll get the desired results. If she doesn't like it, she means she doesn't like it.

You're totally of the mark, mate. Did I not say I don't think she has a dysfunction? Did I not say that I am not out to "blame" her?

I just suspect she has some kind of hang up about it, I don't think she ever even masturbated much, going by her family & upbringing and what she's told me.

ALL I WANTED TO DO here was establish whether or not other women who can't stand it ARE out there, and if so is it physiological/mental? (And I got some good answer from some women here, for which I thank them)

And if I was to take her on her literal word in everything, as you say, she would not now be extremely enjoying the sextoy I bought her when she SAID she didn't want it. I know her well enough to be able to read between the lines, and what do you know I WAS RIGHT. If my suspicion that she has a mental hang-up about it, and never learned to tap into it there due to over-sensitivity due to non use, is correct, then she has a veritable sexual nuclear weapon at her disposal still! Why WOULDN'T I be trying to just make sure I couldn't help her sort it out. If I'm wrong, then so be it, and I'll just drop the issue completely with her.

If you're true motivation for asking this is to try being a better lover, be a better lover. Don't use this as a scapegoat. You sound insecure and stubborn. Passive aggressive may be a bit harsh. You seem deadset in your cornering and grilling her that somehow she needs to be "fixed".

Perhaps the way I type is giving you the wrong impression. I have never interrogated her against her will ever on these issues, we've been together a fcuken DECADE, and it's taken THIS long for me to piece her together (and I still haven't figured her completely out) gently broaching the subject after sex, or when she is in the right mood to discuss it. She's very conservative, and from a sheltered background, if that helps. But this implication that I'm monstering her or something is totally off the mark.

 

[Ethyl]

:wink:

Yup.
And with some doing both at the same time gets quite a reaction. :biggrin1:

Best way to send me through the roof. :biggrin1:

I'm with Altered Ego. My sexuality has evolved over a long period of time. I think an open mind and experience has everything to do with it. If your wife doesn't like clitoral stimulation then there's no need to push it but one day she may change her mind. If she doesn't then she'll probably develop other preferences if she truly enjoys sex.

 

[Kotchanski]

I have a friend who likes having his nuts stamped on with high heeled shoes, is this something all men like?

I phoned some random hooker to ask what experience she has with this because hookers sleep with hundreds of guys so should have pretty decent statistics, she said that she's never met a guy who didn't like this... Now I'm concerned I'm not doing enough for my husband, he says he isn't into it, but if all these others are then maybe if we just do it enough he'll learn to like it? Maybe he's just got some weird hang ups about it?

(I do hope that wasn't too subtle...)

Sarcasm aside, every guy I've been with up to my husband has loved having his nipples played with, touched and the likes. Most went as far as to demand it if it wasn't offered up quick enough. My husband however would happily kill me for accidentally brushing against them!

 

[Drifterwood]

I have a friend who likes having his nuts stamped on with high heeled shoes, is this something all men like?

They have to be lipstick red shoes, and it's better if I have a baseball bat up my arse.

 

[RawDog]

You're totally of the mark, mate. Did I not say I don't think she has a dysfunction?

So, what exactly does this mean?

Is this common? Is there perhaps an underlying condition? Or are some women just "dead" there? She says it is not psychological, and that she just doesn't like it.

If the word "dead" isn't a disfunction we need to call Webster's.

Did I not say that I am not out to "blame" her?

Sort of like someons saying, "No offense man, but you're an idiot"? Just because you preface a statement with a condition, it doesn't make the statement in agreement with the condition.

I just suspect she has some kind of hang up about it, I don't think she ever even masturbated much, going by her family & upbringing and what she's told me.

"Some kind of hangup" is another way of saying disfunction.

ALL I WANTED TO DO here was establish whether or not other women who can't stand it ARE out there, and if so is it physiological/mental? (And I got some good answer from some women here, for which I thank them)

The question is, in of itself, a very valid question. It's the arrogance and disrespect behind it I have a problem with.

And if I was to take her on her literal word in everything, as you say, she would not now be extremely enjoying the sextoy I bought her when she SAID she didn't want it.

There! That's the disrespect I'm talking about. You may have been right. Maybe her level of honesty and awareness may not be to your standards, but you chose to ignore her wishes and buy her something she didn't want in the first place "because the little girl needs her big daddy to think for her".

You seem like a thoughtful, intelligent man, but not calling your bullshit on how presumptuous you are makes it ok. You and your wife may be fine with this arrangement, but it drips with chauvinism with me.

I know her well enough to be able to read between the lines, and what do you know I WAS RIGHT. If my suspicion that she has a mental hang-up about it, and never learned to tap into it there due to over-sensitivity due to non use, is correct, then she has a veritable sexual nuclear weapon at her disposal still! Why WOULDN'T I be trying to just make sure I couldn't help her sort it out. If I'm wrong, then so be it, and I'll just drop the issue completely with her.

The end doesn't justify the means.

Perhaps the way I type is giving you the wrong impression. I have never interrogated her against her will ever on these issues...

Ok, what does this mean:

I have cornered her, and grilled her, and involved her to the best of my ability, trust me, and I still cannot understand how it is that the clitoris does nothing for her

"Cornered and grilled" isn't interrogation?

we've been together a fcuken DECADE, and it's taken THIS long for me to piece her together (and I still haven't figured her completely out) gently broaching the subject after sex, or when she is in the right mood to discuss it. She's very conservative, and from a sheltered background, if that helps. But this implication that I'm monstering her or something is totally off the mark.

I see a much deeper, more complex problem with your relationship that has nothing to do with sex. I deal with this shit enough in real life and I come her to lpsg to talk about sex, not relationship issues. You're stuff with your wife seems to be working for you and your wife. Great.

Coming here and telling us how ignorant your wife is and how you can make decisions for her and be proven right in the process should not be seen as acceptable behavior in a relationship.

Dammit, I miss Dolfette. She'd have something clever and biting to say right now.

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

My ex was similar, she didn't like me touching or licking her clit although she was happy for me to put my fingers and tongue into her cunt and she really enjoyed fucking. She had a very large clit (one of the largest I've seen) when she got aroused and it was hard not to give it attention. She said she'd never masturbated and never wanted to. I think this was the result of some sort of hang-up rather than a physical problem - her mother used to tell her not to play with herself as it was "bad".

 

[B_curiousme01]

Like Petite said "my clitoris and I are best friends" or something like that. But sometimes after my hubby has given me a really intense orgasm, I literally can't stand for it to be touched again. For like, maybe five minutes or so. I feel for both you and her

 

[43698]

It takes all kinds in this world to make it go round. I see questions on here all the time ranging from......

Do all women like to be fucked really hard?
To what makes a good top for a new bottom?

As you can see both those questions are very valid and are important to the person or persons posing them, yet at the same time are rhetorical, and completely useless to me. Yet they are good questions and should be asked if someone needs to know.

Your wife likes what she likes just as you do. If she does not want her clitoris messed with but enjoys other things I would be worrying about those other things. It would be kind of like if her x like to have his prostate massaged and you do not. Well what if she kept trying to stick things in your ass and then questioned you about it when you said no? You pose a good question on here and I am glad you asked it because it allowed more than one person to tell everyone that it is ok to like or not like what ever you want even if it does not involve farm animals and leather masks!!

One thing I can say about clitoral stimulation is this. My wife used to really really love it she would have a few orgasms everytime this way before we had intercourse. Well for some reason her hormones changing around with premenopause has caused her clit to enlarge slightly and it is very very over sensetive. So we discovered that if you get some of that cream that you are supposed to use for pre-mature ejacluation prevention it works. We were walking around walmart one day and I recommended oral gel. Then we decided not to use it because it has mint in it. So we went to the local adult store and the lady said that there is something made for that and we purchased a tube. This stuff said it was for men but it works great on the clitoris. Happy Fucking Everyone!!!!

 

[irox19]

I don't need a lot of clitoral stimulation to get off. I also don't need a lot of oral, it just doesn't take me that long to climax. As far as my partner stimulating me, honestly, I would rather stimulate my clit myself since I know just how much pressure I need...it is too much guesswork to have someone else do it. of course I love the attention, but there is a very thin line between what feels good and what feels terrible, so I usually prefer that spot be left to my control.

I agree with those who are suggesting you listen to her. there is nothing wrong with your wife...find out what does please her and work on that.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

i posted this somewhere else, but i had a girlfriend that would let me cuddle with her and work my fingers on her. she would use a free hand and with a finger somewhere on my body, arm, shoulder, head, back, just depended what position we were in and would work a finger on me just as she wanted me to do her. same motion, pressure and speed. once i figured out what she was signaling (and that took about 3 seconds the first time) it was fireworks guaranteed every time. she loved it and i loved doing it.

 

[silvertriumph2]

I getting into this after a lot of others have posted, but I thought I would just throw my 2 cents in anyway...

My second son's mother (we did not marry) did not like stimulation or oral either....actually fearing the pain she said
she felt. She said it was uncomfortable and hurt. I insisted that she go to her Gyno to see if there was a problem. It turned out that she indeed was over sensitive in that area. She was given a numbing cream to de-sensitize the clit, and from that time on we never had problems and she learned to enjoy it rather than fear it. Just a thought...

 

[tiberian777]

You should try giving her oral stimulation but instead of sucking directly on the clit try focus on indirect stimulation (and good foreplay before that of course). Sucking an licking her thighs, and moving inwards taking your time and listening to her body signals. Then you can work her vaginal lips very gently but never directly stimulating her clit. Always indirect stimulation by gently pulling skin over and around that area. You may also find that she needs to be in a heightened sense of pleasure before you can go anywhere near her clit. Once you get her there you can have a lot of fun. Then you can evolve as she learns about her body and what works for her and you can start taking things to new levels as you build trust and confidence with each other.

 

[Apifia]

I'm a woman who doesn't get much enjoyment from having her clit touched either. I wish these issues would be explored more under the lens of hard science rather than by ignorant people with their personalty motivated theories (like many people in this tread) :/

 

[Apifia]

I'm a woman who does not enjoy clitoral stimulation. We exist. It's not always psychological. I sure wish this issue would be explored under the lens of science, as I'm really tired of reading people's ignorant theories. :/

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I'm not big on internal stimulation. I could live on an island with a small clitoral vibe and be totally content.

 

[Ashton430]

@Apifia Do you not like it because the pleasure is too intense, or is there no pleasure and just irritation when your clitoris is stimulated?

 

[Ashton430]

My girlfriend has always loved penetration and comes vaginally, but since I've been stimulating her clit more recently, she's come to prefer that. During penetration I use a vibe on her clit and she says the sensation from that overrides the feeling of penetrative sex and gives her a quicker orgasm. Yet, when we played around with very large friend of mine, she had far better orgasms vaginally. I think it can sometimes be mix and match when clit stimulation is involved and very often, as in my girlfriends case, she doesn't want to analyze it afterwards.

 

[TinyPrincess]

I'm a woman who doesn't get much enjoyment from having her clit touched either. I wish these issues would be explored more under the lens of hard science rather than by ignorant people with their personalty motivated theories (like many people in this tread) :/

Welcome to LPSG, BTW.

You've figured out the search function already

As to sensitivity, well, I've met guys who were either extremely sensitive on their head as well as the opposite - one was almost numb. I guess it's just mother nature's way of saying we're all different.

 

[Riven650]

Most of the women I've had sex with have preferred their clitoral glans to be avoided until they are very turned on, and even then, it has to be just the right kind of stimulation for just the right amount of time. Clitoral hyper-sensitivity is not talked about very much, but it's probably not all that rare, so I wouldn't look at it as a dysfunction - more an over-function. Maybe it will desensitise with age, but I feel it would be best not to put your wife under any pressure and work round it instead. Work on having easy, pressure free, conversation about sex and you should be able to have a great sex life.