After reading this whole post, I feel I can answer the question Gillette. Whatever bearing Gecko has or had, his original post was damaged by his inability to communicate in a way that didn't make him look like a schlub. Whether ego driven or through obtuseness, he managed to polarize the readers. To answer your question, there is nothing wrong with being an integral part of your partners pleasure, in fact it is super important but its his lack of tact and in what appears to be his desire to show just how cool he is, shows in his utter disdain for the girl in the post. We only know what he has told us about this girl but from his description, she was just an annoyance. And no one likes that feeling when it comes to intimacy.
This all comes down to how the post was formulated. It caused people to form on both sides, he may have a point to make but he ultimately failed at that. Your row with Petite sound like the two of you have history and thought I can see your points and respect them, I have a feeling there is more to it than just your defense of Gecko.
I recognize fancy writing that is designed to insult or demean without saying it directly and your posts are well written razorblades. Petite owned up to her statements and answered the questions presented in the previous post, it probably is wrong to judge someone by older previous posts but everyone on this board is subject to human frailty, including you.