Women who enjoy sex labelled sluts

Ethyl

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I already listed the names of what they call sexually promiscuous men. :rolleyes: I don't know what a sexually active woman has to do to be called something other than a slut. Pick one. There are many others. They don't call them players, that's for sure. Slut is an old word and has always been primarily used for a woman. I've never really heard it used for a man.
Do you think it should be used for a man as well as a woman?
It doesn't mean that's the way it always should be, but most men are very particular about the kind of woman they want to marry or have a long term relationship with. And a slut is not at the top of the list. Many times they will use her for the sex and that's it. Most will not say that's the reason they dumped her, but oftentimes it is when they have no more use for her, or she wants a relationship and he doesn't. I've heard guys talking about their latest hookup, and when they refer to her as a slut and tell everyone at work what they did with her or what she did to him, it is not by any means complimentary.
Do you think this reasoning for why men are particular about the "kind" of woman they want to marry is acceptable?
You said:
Also, how much mental dysfunction does it take to have the mindset of "I like having sex with sluts, but I want to marry a good girl." So, when it's time to settle down, he wants to spend the rest of his life with a woman with whom the sex is awful and boring? Again, not too bright.

DC, that is the mindset of a lot of men, and not just American men. You've heard the expression, "I want a wife in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom."
Do you think this mindset of "a lot of men" is acceptable?

If she's fine with the word, then that's all that matters. I think most women do not want to be called a slut to their face or behind their back.
Maybe the meaning of the word should change or apply to both sexes. I'm curious to know what you think about that.

http://www.lpsg.org/59497-what-slut-whore-you-ask.html
Note my post in that thread.
 

B_Italian1

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Do you think it should be used for a man as well as a woman?

No, I don't think it should be. But who am I? It is not used that way anymore than a woman is called a stud, philanderer, or player.

Do you think this reasoning for why men are particular about the "kind" of woman they want to marry is acceptable?

MB, men are all different. Some are gentlemen and some are dogs. Women deserve respect.

Do you think this mindset of "a lot of men" is acceptable?

See above.

Maybe the meaning of the word should change or apply to both sexes. I'm curious to know what you think about that.

I am not in charge of whether the definitions of words should change or not. I don't know if slut should be made a neutral word and apply to both genders. Take a look at the first two definitions here:

slut - Dictionary definition and pronunciation - Yahoo! Education

SLUT - Definition

Now, take a look at the Wikipedia definition. It's all over the map and appears to have taken on a life of its own.

Slut - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Slut is a pejorative term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement.

Slut has also been reclaimed as a slang term in the BDSM, polyamorous and gay and bisexual communities.

It may be used by the person concerned as an expression of pride in their status, or as an expression of enviousness in the "success rate" of others.

The accepted denotative meaning is a sexually promiscuous woman or "a woman of a low or loose character; a bold or impudent girl; a hussy, jade."

The term slut is therefore frequently used as an insult. The derogatory power of the term derives both from its denotative meaning of a promiscuous woman, but also from its historical and regional connotations or alternate meanings that identify a slut as a dirty or unkempt person.

It is often used against gay males and bisexuals, comparing them without merit as people who are promiscuous in that they have, or are reputed to have, many sexual partners, or whose sexuality is voracious, indiscriminate, and shameful.

With BDSM, polyamorous and non-monogamous people, in usage taken from the book The Ethical Slut, the term has been reclaimed as an expression of choice to openly have multiple partners, and revel in that choice: "a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."

The term is also used (principally by women) to describe a woman dressed provocatively or a woman being overtly flirtatious.
 

Not_Punny

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Well, there are advantages to having a chaste wife.... SPECIFICALLY during the breeding years:

-- STDs do nasty things to unborn children

-- Men want to know who their kids are.

Just watch one episode of Montel Williams to know the devastation caused by promiscuity during breeding years.
 

Belly_Dancer

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I fully endorse the following quote:

“‘Slut,’ ‘bitch,’ ‘whore,’ ‘nympho,’ and ‘tramp:’ wouldn’t it be nice to use them so often that they lose the power to hurt? Better yet, shouldn’t we redefine the words in such a way that they become praise? Women should have pride in the enjoyment of their bodies. Can women stand up and say, ‘Hell, yes. I’m a sensual woman, a sexual being and I’m proud of it?’

“We declare, from this day forward, these words to be compliments. We will define ’slut’ as a person who enjoys his or her sexuality. A ‘bitch’ shall be a woman who takes control of her own destiny. A ‘whore’ shall be a woman so desired that men will give much to be with her. Call m’lady ‘nympho’ if she demonstrates a healthy sexual appetite, and a ‘tramp’ is merely a very giving person, who knows how to share.”

~Molly Devon and Phillip Miller, from Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns.​

Based on those definitions, I consider myself a slut, a bitch, a whore, a nympho, and a tramp, and I'm proud of it! :tongue:

For my other thoughts on the subject, please feel free to check out these posts in my blog:

 

Principessa

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And a sexually promiscuous man is what? A stud? A player? Yes, you hit the nail on the head. What does a sexually active woman have to do to be be a player rather than a slut?
Sorry that question does not compute. :confused: You know perfectly well that a sexually active woman is always looked down upon. :rolleyes:


Well, there are advantages to having a chaste wife.... SPECIFICALLY during the breeding years:
Uhm excuse me, but the breeding years for a woman can be as young as 10 and as old as 60. Do you seriously expect all women to only have one sexual partner for 50 years?!? :eek::confused:
-- STDs do nasty things to unborn children True, but most wives get STD's from philandering husband's NOT from previous activities.
-- Men want to know who their kids are. Yadda, yadda,yadda any woman dumb enough to cheat and not use birth control deserves to get a divorce.
Just watch one episode of Montel Williams to know the devastation caused by promiscuity during breeding years.
Actually Jerry Springer and Maury Povich are better at showing the emotional devastation promiscuity does to all concerned.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I have a friend who's fucked over 200 guys, every guy she's fucked she liked something about him, she loves sex, she doesn't fuck every guy she sees - she's not a slut.

I have another friend who's fucked a similar amount of guys - she often fucks guys she'd be ashamed to be seen with in public, she's often fucked guys just because they bought her a drink - she's a slut.

To me a slut is someone who'll randomly fuck anyone who chances his arm or happens to be in the right place at the right time.

But they're both my friends, I don't really think being a slut is a bad thing, their cunt, they can do what they like with it.
 

ManlyBanisters

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I think a slut is someone who sleeps with people numerous because they lack self respect or are looking for acceptance. I dont think number even plays a part in it.

By their own definition or someone else's?

My ex-spouse thought that was my motivation before I met him - he was prefectly willing to accept that I loved sex with him... he wasn't so sure about the others :rolleyes:

So am I a slut or not?
 

Principessa

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I think a slut is someone who sleeps with people numerous because they lack self respect or are looking for acceptance. I dont think number even plays a part in it.
I agree with the first sentence but not the second.

I have a friend who's fucked over 200 guys, every guy she's fucked she liked something about him, she loves sex, she doesn't fuck every guy she sees - she's not a slut.

I have another friend who's fucked a similar amount of guys - she often fucks guys she'd be ashamed to be seen with in public, she's often fucked guys just because they bought her a drink - she's a slut.

To me a slut is someone who'll randomly fuck anyone who chances his arm or happens to be in the right place at the right time.

But they're both my friends, I don't really think being a slut is a bad thing, their cunt, they can do what they like with it.
I disagree. I think whether you are a male or female once you hit triple digits you are a slut!:cool:
 

ManlyBanisters

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Sorry that question does not compute. :confused: You know perfectly well that a sexually active woman is always looked down upon. :rolleyes:

Not always and not by everyone - not anymore.

I agree with the first sentence but not the second.

I disagree. I think whether you are a male or female once you hit triple digits you are a slut!:cool:

I can't agree with that - 'slut' is a derogatory term, it'd be fine if we could say it in a positive way - but it is always an insult and I just don't like to judge, or be judged, in that way.


More of a slag, I would say :biggrin1:

I'm running.

There's the Welshman calling the Irish Celtic, then :rolleyes:
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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By their own definition or someone else's?

My ex-spouse thought that was my motivation before I met him - he was perfectly willing to accept that I loved sex with him... he wasn't so sure about the others :rolleyes:

So am I a slut or not?

Possibly someone doesn't realize they are sleeping around for these reasons so then it would be by someone else's definition. But id say most sluts know what they are, some deny it and other like a friend of mine are very proud of it.

I dont think it is a problem for a person to sleep around but it is a problem if these 2 examples (lack of self respect & acceptance) are the cause then there is a problem and for everyones sake it should be dealt with.

Are you a slut? Only you know the reasons you slept with the men you did so only you can judge and define yourself, not me.
 

Jovial

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I think it's a combination of number and frequency of different sexual partners and the reasons for having sex. I don't like to see women just having sex for the feeling of acceptance or if she isn't getting much physical pleasure out of it...like she is just getting him off and he doesn't care about her pleasure. Of course, a woman like this will claim she does enjoy it physically, so it's really something that is hard to judge.

There is a fine line between enjoying something a lot and being addicted to it. Ultimately I don't care, people can choose to do whatever they want. Just like someone that does drugs says they enjoy it, and I can't really argue because maybe that is the best way that they can enjoy their life. On the other hand, maybe if they were shown that they could enjoy their life more by not doing drugs, maybe they'd choose that option.

So I guess I would judge some women (and men!) as being too slutty, but it is on a case-by-case basis. I'm pretty open-minded so I wouldn't label many women as sluts.
 

B_Italian1

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Based on those definitions, I consider myself a slut, a bitch, a whore, a nympho, and a tramp, and I'm proud of it! :tongue:

It's one thing if you believe those words describe you, but you probably wouldn't want people calling you that in public.

Sorry that question does not compute. :confused: You know perfectly well that a sexually active woman is always looked down upon. :rolleyes:

That double standard will never change. The words for men: playboy, stud, and player appear attractive. For women: whore, nympho, and tramp have negative connotations.


I disagree. I think whether you are a male or female once you hit triple digits you are a slut!:cool:

Men aren't sluts. :rolleyes: At one time if you hit double digits you were loose. What's next? Quadruple digits?

I don't like to see women just having sex for the feeling of acceptance or if she isn't getting much physical pleasure out of it...like she is just getting him off and he doesn't care about her pleasure.

A lot of women get no sexual pleasure or very little. Some do it to get the guy, but aren't really into it.

There is a fine line between enjoying something a lot and being addicted to it.

SP's friend sounds like an addict to me.
 

B_Bette

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Overall, being a slut isn't sexually satisfying. Just cos you're having a lot of sex with many men doesn't mean that even half if it is good.
 

Not_Punny

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Well I see the only response to my prior post was a disagreement.

Well, sorry. It IS a double standard.

Italian1 made a point that a lot of men that he knows want to marry a "good girl" to marry.

If you take a look around planet Earth, you'll notice that this is quite true.

Why the hell does anyone think that Female Genital Mutilation is performed on TWO MILLION LITTLE GIRLS EVERY YEAR? So that women don't enjoy sex, so that they don't grow up to become "sluts."


Why the hell do Muslims in the Middle East. India and now in Europe too perform HONOR KILLINGS of female relatives who have sex out-of-marriage? To eradicate "sluts." (These killings are covered up and made to look otherwise, so no official statistics exist, but at least 5,000 a year are documented.)


People who are REALLY religious insist that BOTH parties be virgins, but this is less common than the insistence that a WOMAN be pure.

I don't know if this is brainwashing or genetic code. I suspect it's brainwashing.

We aren't going to change this societal double-standard by thinking dim thoughts about it or by disagreeing with it.

Maybe we won't have this double standard 500 - 1000 years from now, when STDs are gone, when religions have been abolished, and when babies are grown in test tubes.

But until then...

Welcome to planet Earth.

Sexually active women are looked upon as SLUTS by the majority of men on this planet.
 

Belly_Dancer

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It's one thing if you believe those words describe you, but you probably wouldn't want people calling you that in public.

Depends on where in public.

At a BDSM play party, it would be just fine. :biggrin1:

In the mall.... not so much. :tongue:
 

Belly_Dancer

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Overall, being a slut isn't sexually satisfying. Just cos you're having a lot of sex with many men doesn't mean that even half if it is good.

That is true, but there are still a lot of valuable lessons to be learned about what you don't want.

Sleep with only a few men and you may never know what you're missing -- yes, in terms of cock, but even more importantly, in terms of skill, passion, and technique.
 

snoozan

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That's very true and it's always been like that. A lot of guys will not have a relationship with or marry a woman who has slept around. I know guys who have dumped girls after they found out about their past. They had their fun first. A woman can obviously lie and he wouldn't know the difference. A woman, on the other hand, is supposed to accept a man who has been around. After all, if he's been with a lot of woman, he must be good in bed. On the other hand, he's not considered a keeper and often a man that a woman will not trust.

I've never had a man dump me or suddenly become not interested in me because of my sexual past. Maybe it's my age, or the men that I pick to be with. What I do know is that my husband is appreciative of my sexual past because it puts us on a more equal footing sexually-- and because I've had enough varied experience that I'm good in bed. I'd no sooner date a man whose ideas about female sexuality were so rigid than I'd date a man who thinks the best thing I bring to the table are big tits. Those men aren't worth my time, and I can smell them a mile off.