Women who enjoy sex labelled sluts

Drifterwood

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Sexually active women are looked upon as SLUTS by the majority of men on this planet.

I think you are right.

I am not looking for brownie points from anyone, but it took Europe's best education and mixing with the most liberated women of my generation, then maybe nearly ten years of becoming a grown up, for me to get this crap out of my system. Nurture is insidious in this and other respects.

Truth is IMO, men need to liberate themselves from this fear of women and women being women.
 

tiff86

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Geez I hope it's not slutty to like sex! :tongue: I asked my bf about this awhile ago and he said it's more that guys think girls are slutty if they have sex w/a lot of guys even if they don't really like them. I dunno, I've only been w/3 guys but I def. like sex as much as my bf does and sometimes I even want it more than him. I guess I don't even really think about if I'm slutty since I only have sex w/1 guy but honestly I don't really like when girls are called sluts, I mean what's wrong w/liking sex?? :confused:
 

Axcess

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Well I see the only response to my prior post was a disagreement.

Well, sorry. It IS a double standard.

Italian1 made a point that a lot of men that he knows want to marry a "good girl" to marry.

If you take a look around planet Earth, you'll notice that this is quite true.

Why the hell does anyone think that Female Genital Mutilation is performed on TWO MILLION LITTLE GIRLS EVERY YEAR? So that women don't enjoy sex, so that they don't grow up to become "sluts."

Why the hell do Muslims in the Middle East. India and now in Europe too perform HONOR KILLINGS of female relatives who have sex out-of-marriage? To eradicate "sluts." (These killings are covered up and made to look otherwise, so no official statistics exist, but at least 5,000 a year are documented.)

People who are REALLY religious insist that BOTH parties be virgins, but this is less common than the insistence that a WOMAN be pure.

I don't know if this is brainwashing or genetic code. I suspect it's brainwashing.

We aren't going to change this societal double-standard by thinking dim thoughts about it or by disagreeing with it.

Maybe we won't have this double standard 500 - 1000 years from now, when STDs are gone, when religions have been abolished, and when babies are grown in test tubes.

But until then...

Welcome to planet Earth.

Sexually active women are looked upon as SLUTS by the majority of men on this planet.
That's right. I agree with your post. Woman that enjoy sex are labelled as sluts and men that don't don't sleep around with many girls are wussies or sissies , or they simply aren't man enough . That's the doble standard.
 

SexandCandy

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Cherish your inner slut. Enjoying sex is nothing to be ashamed of, after all.

Words only have the power you give them. If you embrace the term slut (as I have for myself), then you endow it with whole new meaning.

Pejoratives of all kind have been turned on their heads when taken from the oppressors and adopted by those to whom they applied with scorn. "Queer", "faggot", "cocksucker": I'll gladly use these hateful expressions when speaking of myself and consider them compliments, though I still get pissed off when someone who doesn't know me tries to insult me with them: I'll admit that.

I agree with you here! There is this great book (women will love it) called "Cunt". It talks about the history of the word, political and social issues regarding women and why specifically that word is so powerful... It's a good feminist kind of book... but not overly so. She advocates sexual freedom, and equality... I loved it.

If I'm a whore, then the guy is a Manwhore. LOL. I actually love that term, Manwhore. If I'm a slut, so is the guy... I just prefer to think of myself as sexually adventurous. It sounds better anyway. :)
 

Ethyl

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I don't care what people think about my sexual past. It's a part of me and i'm not ashamed of it nor should I be. My partner, who enjoys the fruits of my experience and is a wise man just mentioned to me how interesting he finds that women with a sexual history are automatically defensive whereas men are lauded for their excessive sexual exploits. It's why I wrote the first two sentences of this post - I resent others who feel I should be ashamed about my experience.

People need to realise that women aren't going to stop having sex for fear of men and women who think they should be or act a certain way. It doesn't make them bad people. It makes them sexual beings. Men who continue to adhere to these victorian rules about women will be passed over for more open-minded, intelligent, caring men. Yes, I said caring. Holding fast to a double standard demonstrates a lack of caring for other individuals. I've passed over enough men who were flaky enough to believe women were tainted after so many partners.

I went without a committed relationship for several years. I knew I wasn't emotionally ready for one but I still had *ahem* needs, so I fulfilled them. And yes, I had a few people call me a slut for being responsible about my emotional and sexual needs. Those people are no longer in my life. One of those people is stuck in a loveless marriage, expected to bring more income home, raise their child, and tolerate her husband's incessant cheating while he does squat for his family. I waited until I found someone who accepts me and loves me without reserve.

Until we embrace and redefine the word "slut" for ourselves, women will still be viewed as second-class sexual beings by men and women who use the word in a derogatory fashion.
 

B_Italian1

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Well I see the only response to my prior post was a disagreement.

Well, sorry. It IS a double standard.

Italian1 made a point that a lot of men that he knows want to marry a "good girl" to marry.

If you take a look around planet Earth, you'll notice that this is quite true.

It's how a lot of men are programmed from the time they're young. There are certain girls our mothers may have heard about and told us to stay away from. Certain girls were talked about at school in whispered tones. Their phone numbers were on the stalls in the bathrooms and nasty things were written about them. I used to work in a really big company, and when our department of 250 would have occasional functions for employees only, there were always the same 3 or 4 women who were talked about the next day by some of the guys. Yes, we heard all the dirty details.

Why the hell does anyone think that Female Genital Mutilation is performed on TWO MILLION LITTLE GIRLS EVERY YEAR? So that women don't enjoy sex, so that they don't grow up to become "sluts."

Why the hell do Muslims in the Middle East. India and now in Europe too perform HONOR KILLINGS of female relatives who have sex out-of-marriage? To eradicate "sluts." (These killings are covered up and made to look otherwise, so no official statistics exist, but at least 5,000 a year are documented.)

And all of that is just horrible--totally unacceptable. I heard about one of those honor killings a few weeks ago, and the newscaster said it's more common that people think. :mad: I thought it was extremely rare.

Maybe we won't have this double standard 500 - 1000 years from now, when STDs are gone, when religions have been abolished, and when babies are grown in test tubes.

Religion will never be gone and neither will STD's. Test tube babies? :confused: I hope not. :eek:

Depends on where in public.

At a BDSM play party, it would be just fine. :biggrin1:

In the mall.... not so much. :tongue:

Of course it would depend on where you are. And if you have kids you wouldn't want their friends calling you or their own moms whores, nymphos and tramps. Holly, you have a blog about being a consensual sex slave. You're not exactly the average everyday woman.:biggrin1: I'm sure many guys would want that arrangement if they could get it. :wink:

I've never had a man dump me or suddenly become not interested in me because of my sexual past. Maybe it's my age, or the men that I pick to be with.

You don't really know that. He could have said it was something else. When dumping someone, men and women will and do lie as to what the real reason is. Sometimes it's easier than to hurt someone.

I agree with you here! There is this great book (women will love it) called "Cunt". It talks about the history of the word, political and social issues regarding women and why specifically that word is so powerful... It's a good feminist kind of book... but not overly so. She advocates sexual freedom, and equality... I loved it.

The Vagina Monologues tried to make that word okay, but I would never call a woman a c--t. It's not something people say in public, school or in the workplace. In the context of dirty talking during sex, it's something a woman may or may not like. A lot of women on here will refer to their vagina as a pussy, but I rarely hear any of them call it their c--t.
 

SexandCandy

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The Vagina Monologues tried to make that word okay, but I would never call a woman a c--t. It's not something people say in public, school or in the workplace. In the context of dirty talking during sex, it's something a woman may or may not like. A lot of women on here will refer to their vagina as a pussy, but I rarely hear any of them call it their c--t.

Just said the book was good. LOL...
 

SexandCandy

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It's how a lot of men are programmed from the time they're young. There are certain girls our mothers may have heard about and told us to stay away from. Certain girls were talked about at school in whispered tones. Their phone numbers were on the stalls in the bathrooms and nasty things were written about them. I used to work in a really big company, and when our department of 250 would have occasional functions for employees only, there were always the same 3 or 4 women who were talked about the next day by some of the guys. Yes, we heard all the dirty details.

It's sad, but kind of true that people are programmed... I guess that's why it's a common man's dream to have a partner who is a lady outside, and a slut in the bedroom....

My thought is... why put on the facade? I can be both... a lady in and out of the bedroom... and if I choose, a slut in and out of the bedroom... I mean, there's always the kitchen, the park, the car, anywhere really .... HA! :)
 

snoozan

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You don't really know that. He could have said it was something else. When dumping someone, men and women will and do lie as to what the real reason is. Sometimes it's easier than to hurt someone.

Actually, I do know that I've never been dumped for my sexual past. In fact, I can't even say that I've been dumped, to tell the truth.
 

whatireallywant

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I do have some behavior in my past that I am not proud of. It isn't how much sex I had or how many men I was with but my over the top hyper-sexual behavior any time I was around a group of men, because I thought it was the only way I could get any attention since I didn't have a centerfold body. I wasn't actually with all that many men during that time.

Although I still have the same body-image issues, it isn't quite as severe. And my behavior has calmed down a a lot. I still like a lot of sex though! And yes, I have an open relationship - not married though - but I have nothing against married people who are swingers. They are up front about it. What I have a problem with are people who sneak around to cheat on their spouses. In my case, he and I both know that we are not compatible for marriage. Yet we are still good friends and sometimes have "benefits" with that. Eventually I will find someone else for a long term relationship (hopefully... since he's the only LTR I've had though, I can't be so sure of that!) But right now I'm wanting something different. I am open to all the possibilities, but as of now I'm enjoying more of a FB/FWB kind of thing, and looking to satisfy a major fantasy of mine.

Oh, and as I've mentioned more than a few times, I HATE double standards!!!
 

snoozan

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Well aren't you special. :rolleyes:

Oh be nice. Most of it is that I've been maybe 4 long term relationships in my life and one marriage, and everything else has been a fuckbuddy/FWB or one-night hookup situation. I've never been in a situation where someone has ended a relationship with me, and it's not because I'm the queen bee, it's because of the situations I've been in. I've never really "dated" in the way that most over-25s do when they are looking for a partner. With that said, I know that I've never been in a relationship/situation where my sexual past has affected a relationship negatively.
 

Jovial

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People keep saying there is a double standard. I agree to a point, but if a 25 year old guy says he's had sex with say 100+ women, does that really make women want to jump in bed with him? Do women see that as a good quality really, like he must be a great lover?
 

B_Jennuine73

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married and in an open relationship = slut

In your opinion and maybe many others. You know what though? I wonder why you feel the need to judge me and my relationship in a negative way.

If I fucked 500 men in my life time, does that make me a target for your negative judgement? How about 300? Fifty? Twenty?

What's the magic number for you THEDUDER?

I've posted I was pimped out when I was 18 by an abusive piece of shit. Does that make me a horrible person? Does that mean I should look at the sidewalk when I walk by people?

Should shame rule my life for that?

What if I said that experience did not ruin me for sex? What kind of judgement will I receive? Should I hate sex? Should I hate my body?

Please tell me how to feel about myself, thanks.
 

J4r

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I know this thread has been done to death. Looking at recent threads, I didn't see one on this topic, though I've seen it before.
So I'm starting another one.

Somebody asked me if I was a slut. I asked this person to define slut and was given the definition "A woman who gives sex freely and often"

Who agrees with this statement?

I am married, an open marriage and that means I can fuck who I want, when I want. When I exercise this right, this agreement between my husband and I, I was called a cheater and a slut.

First of all, my relationship is just that, my relationship. Not up for judgement by anyone. If my husband and I are happy and safe, that is what is important.

The issue with being called a slut: Of course I give sex freely, I'm not a hooker. Easily? No, I am picky. If I see a man I want to fuck, and we have chemistry, I fuck him. Why? Because I love sex.

It is more than Ok for me to love sex. It is healthy that I know my body, what I like and how much I want. I want to be satisfied sexually and as long as I am taking care of business, then there is nothing wrong with it. If I was neglecting my child, my marriage, my job and other responsibilities in order to have sex, that would be wrong.
Having sex and lots of it is not wrong, as long as I am safe and happy.

If that means I am a slut, then guess what GUYS?!?! I'm a fucking slut!

Whether you or anybody else thinks you are a slut, I have no opinion on your personal choices to sleep with people on however often the occasion may be. I do have an opinion on you being married, whether the relationship is open or not. I think marriage is something you share with one person. If you are not ready to share everything that is marriage with one person, you don't need to leave that person but you should not be married to any person. I think it is a disgrace to all marriages. Marriage is about commitments and sacrifices, and it doesn't seem like you have done either one to deserve to be married. I am not putting down your relationship, or saying that you shouldn't be in a relationship, I just think the marriage is not the right kind of relationship for you.
 

Ethyl

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People keep saying there is a double standard. I agree to a point, but if a 25 year old guy says he's had sex with say 100+ women, does that really make women want to jump in bed with him? Do women see that as a good quality really, like he must be a great lover?

I never cared about my partners' sexual history. All I cared about was having a condom with me and making sure they wore it.
 

Ethyl

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married and in an open relationship = slut

One thing i've noticed is that most people who spend time judging another for their actions generally have no interest in that person's well being. They're only concerned about inflicting their own point of view upon others.