I think that you are running the risk of never being satisfied with a partner Lee.
I agree that a platonic emotional relationship can be painful to a partner. The level of pain imo comes down to your possessiveness. At some point possessiveness is unreasonable and you deny the person you "love" to be themselves. There is a paradox here, I fell in love with the person, now I don't want them to be the person I fell in love with.
I enjoy being flirty, erotic, passionate and playful. For me it would be unreasonable for a partner to want me to stop. I would of course consider moderating myself to save her pain - but there is a compromise point - if you can't find it, then its over.
This really is the point to me and sexual evolution has been discussed before. We don't evolve necessarily in the same way as our partners - when you realise that a gulf has grown, you have to do something about it. No amount of talking can force the partner's own evolution to match your own - it's just the way you are. Some partners accept this (I can think of a very good example on the site) some don't and some can't even talk about it because they know their partner won't understand them.
When I was twenty, my GF went with another guy. I don't see her very often anymore, but he is a really good friend. Maybe we are from Mars.
I agree that a platonic emotional relationship can be painful to a partner. The level of pain imo comes down to your possessiveness. At some point possessiveness is unreasonable and you deny the person you "love" to be themselves. There is a paradox here, I fell in love with the person, now I don't want them to be the person I fell in love with.
I enjoy being flirty, erotic, passionate and playful. For me it would be unreasonable for a partner to want me to stop. I would of course consider moderating myself to save her pain - but there is a compromise point - if you can't find it, then its over.
This really is the point to me and sexual evolution has been discussed before. We don't evolve necessarily in the same way as our partners - when you realise that a gulf has grown, you have to do something about it. No amount of talking can force the partner's own evolution to match your own - it's just the way you are. Some partners accept this (I can think of a very good example on the site) some don't and some can't even talk about it because they know their partner won't understand them.
When I was twenty, my GF went with another guy. I don't see her very often anymore, but he is a really good friend. Maybe we are from Mars.