Well 'girls' (I think you meant women, didn't you?), are not likely to do that. When you say 'men' you are really just speaking for yourself, and not all men. Possibly your warped views are reinforced by interactions with, and the opinions of, other men with the same doll/robot fetish. On one hand you freely admit that it is you who has the problem, and that your 'tactics' don't work, and then on the other hand you are placing the blame for this entirely on women in general. Realistically and honestly you know that you are the one that needs to change, and not the rest of the world.
I think there is a possibility that the amount of insults and hatred could be proportionate to the amount of insults and hatred you are dishing out, but perhaps you are not always aware that you are doing it, or just don't realise exactly how completely fucking offensive your general views seem to others.
Disgusting.
You are mistaken. Your bigotry has led to assumptions. Why assume that I dismissed that guy coldly, and without explanation? Why not ask what I did about his inappropriate overture?
I declined the invitation. When I did so, I asked him why he thought it was appropriate to spend so much money on a stranger. I asked him why he thought a woman who wasn't his girlfriend should meet his mother, let alone be trapped on a boat with her for two weeks. His response was that he knew what he wanted and was sure about me. I told him he didn't actually know me, but only my best face, and that based on things he'd said to me I assessed him as presently more excited about my potential than my reality. He said he had been looking for a woman like me, and described me as young, beautiful, industrious, gentle, and passionate. I said he seemed like a great guy, a good man, but that putting that amount of faith in me after a few emails, some phone calls, over the span of a couple of weeks made me think of him as illogical, a gambler, an impulsive user of poor judgement, a man with insufficient self-preservation drive to be compatible long-term with someone practical and cautious like I am. Moreover, as I'd told him countless times by then, I reminded him that I'd been in a long-term relationship for six years, which had ended less than two months prior. I was still hurting and mistrustful, and didn't want a commitment to monogamy at that time. He continued to press for me to go on the trip. He asked of I'd be more comfortable meeting his mother before we leave, reminding me that the trip was a couple of months away. I knew he had to make my booking immediately if it was to be made, and I declined the trip again.
I would have been willing to go on a date with him, and see how it went, but he kept insisting on seeing me as his potential girlfriend. To spare us both a monumental waste of time, I reiterated my position that I just wanted casual sex, not a commitment to anything other than safe sexual practices, and respecting each other's time. When he couldn't get past his idea that he would convince me to be his girlfriend, then marry me, and start a family business, then a family, I simply stopped taking his calls.
He was a really nice man, and I hope he found that match. It wasn't me though, not at that time, or ever. That was far too impulsive. I believe he mistakes infatuation for love, and impulsiveness for romance. Sure, I ghosted on him, technically. But I absolutely gave him my reasons for wanting to go our separate ways, many times. He didn't listen. I wonder if I'm just another story to him, about how women don't like nice guys, and can't commit to a good man. I hope not. I hope he realized we were just not compatible, and got on with his life. I hope he married well, started that real estate development company, and is raising the family he always wanted.
I don't go around claiming that men are too pushy, too impulsive, too reckless, and too desperate just because I think that of him. I certainly still appreciate a nice man when I meet one. Just ask my dude. He's wonderfully sweet, affectionate enough (I'm a little too much for him sometimes) kind to me, his parents, the younger folks he knows, and animals. He is good to his friends, even if they aren't always good to him. He knows he can only control what he does, not how others react, so he does his best. He's absolutely a nice guy. I only like nice men. I've been hot and heavy with a couple of men who'd be considered bad boys, but I never tried to life them up or anything, and they were always nice to me. It was just sex. I liked that they were nerds on the low. Plus, they were ridiculously easy to look at. But for partnering up potentially for life, nice men only need apply. Currently, no applications apply really being considered, as I'm happily attached. While I can't promise perfect behavior at all times, I can promise to be open to his constructive criticism when I'm not at my best, and to do my best by him and generally treat him with respect and dignity, and to believe in him when the odds are against him. He's my darling, and for the rest of his life, even if we don't stay together for the rest of our lives, he'll know for sure that I cherish him right now.
Now this is what I was looking forward to, honesty coming out and quality responses.
I feel you have gotten the majority of the unnecessary anger towards me out of your systems by now.
Personally, that is why monogamous relationships do not work for me because I have no desire to and never will compromise.
Compromise in and of itself destroys feelings of intimacy and romance at least for people more extreme on the autism spectrum.
My feelings of sexual interest and romance are 100% connected to the complete free flow of myself without any compromise.
Compromise to any degree by itself is unpleasurable, thus destroying my sexual attraction to a woman and even general attraction to her as someone "close". Compromising makes a woman feel like an opposing force rather than a mutually uplifting one in life.
Compromise = Mediocrity to me. I despise mediocrity.
AlteredEgo: In that particular case you mentioned, based on what you described, you did communicate well as far as you could tell.
To date, I have yet to experience 1 single scenario of good quality communication with the chicks I have met. Well done on that one.
However in his case, he simply had not studied how female psychology differs from male psychology yet, he did not have it in his upbringing. In his case he would have to sit down and study up in it (like I had to). He would have perceived you were being irrational and closing yourself off too fast. In his mind it would have been a scenario of seeing how things go too. But his way of presenting it initially is where he was not educated in yet. That is all.
Tattooed Goddess: When men talk about marriage, relationships, etc. too soon it does not mean that they are trying to "lock you down" contrary to what it might feel like to you). When a man who does not understand female psychology (which is most men) finds a woman attractive, You, as in that guy's case, he will do and say thing he thinks will increase your attraction level, which will not in most cases, contrary to what he thinks. It is called the "Illusion of Action", all men have it ingrained until they have been taught or have learned first hand otherwise. There are just little tweaks that men have to make, just like women do to be successful with the women they really want. Same goes for women getting with the men THEY want, which was the central point of this post, alerting you to the important tweaks that will make your lives even better. I fit takes me being devil's advocate to call it out, so be it.
Men who have not been raised with an understanding of, taught or studied female psychology are sort of always in "panic mode". They internally feel that if they do not DO something, everything including any potential for any type of relationship whatsoever, will fall to pieces, when in reality such over action causes the exact opposite effect in a woman's mind. Guy's then get pissed because once they realized they seemed overly pushy because most men are ready and willing to work on that area on the spot and adjust their behavior immediately, but by then the female has been turned off too much and thus the man yet again tries to ACT to remedy the situation, causing even more turn off in a woman's mind. It is a very vicious cycle that eats men alive who are not taught this stuff. Otherwise these needy guys are indeed very good quality men in many cases. They just do not understand how to go about any of the initial stages of interactions with women that they find especially attractive.
The purpose of this forum as you can see by now is to help you understand male psychology a little better, so that those things that men do that you may not relate to start to make more sense.
Yes, men like myself, who have our hyper-fixations just simply cannot and do not desire to compromise and never will. Because some degree or another of it is always required for long-term intimacy, I get it, but I despise that fact.
That is why I no longer care what people think if it clashes with my views in any way.
I only care proportionate to how much another person's views line up with mine. Otherwise, they are just in the way of my ideal.
That is why synths are a Godsend to us deeper into the spectrum, allowing us to shape the world more the way we want it to be.
I operate off of the platform of idealism and perfectionism in all things.
