1. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    Ok, so being that I'm not the "dating" kind of person really, recently it occurred to me that I think its because I'm nervous/scared.

    Well, this girl recently broke up with her boyfriend and her friend makes it obvious to ask her out and that she has a thing for me.

    The problem I have is I seriously over think everything. "What if we have nothing to talk about, what if I make an ass of myself, what if I'm boring bla bla bla" and then I scare myself shitless and forget about it.

    All my friends whom are girls always tell me that so many girls have found me attractive and I just never acted on it or anything. I'm tired of doing that and I wanna be comfortable enough to simply ask girls out and have fun.

    Also, it makes it even worse when the girl is gorgeous (which the girl is) and I just get intimidated.

    Anyone have any pointers to get over this or does this describe you at some point in life?
     
  2. Jovial

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    I think it's normal. There are a number of guys here that have the same problem you have. I know what you mean. It would be nice to just be able to talk to girls without over thinking everything and getting all nervous. You just have to go for it. If you mess up then you will learn from the experience and be better with the next girl. If someone has some good advice I'd like to hear it too.
     
  3. CALAMBO

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    guys...i have to think ladies are just as nervous/unsure of themselves..go for it...nothing to worry about, fall down and spill your drink on them, then worry...you guys are studly..enjoy the time of life...
     
  4. largeornot

    largeornot New Member

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    Your focus shouldn't be getting her to go on a date with you... your focus should be letting yourself loose. These self confidence problems manifest not only in cases like these, but also in the work field, and life as a matter of fact.

    as you mature, you will slowly start to realize what i mean, and i used to be like you.
     
  5. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    What a relief to hear that I'm not the only nervous worry wart here.
    I was feeling alone there for a second.

    I do agree with the maturing thing. It's just I see so many dudes doing it and they make it look so easy.

    My brain is whats the problem, I carry myself quite well and have no doubts in myself really. But when the thought of it comes I sit there and knit pick and and find reasons to be doubtful, which in turn fucks my mindset up.

    I've been mighty ballsy lately for some reason anyways, so I say fuck it I can only embarrass myself so much right?
     
  6. Jovial

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    One thing that may not help you for your current situation, but will help in the long run is this. Try talking to more people, just strangers that you meet in everyday life. Like the other day, I was getting gas and the young lady had a name tag with an unusual name. I decided to ask her about it and she got a big smile and joked that people use her nickname. I was not going to say anything, but decided to. If you do stuff like that often enough you will get more comfortable talking to people. You will realize people like when you are confident speaking with other people.
     
  7. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    Very good point Jovial. I too have learned that helps a lot.
    It's weird 'cause certain days I'll be the most talkative, extroverted person and just be smiling ear to ear all day.

    Then there are some days I just wake up and already the day has turned sour and I just keep to myself. These are rare days that this happens, but lately due to a touch of insomnia, I just havn't felt like myself.

    Hopefully these Adderall will erase some of those insomniac side effects :p
     
  8. MagicJohnsonFan

    MagicJohnsonFan New Member

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    Just thought I'd plug a woman's POV. I completely agree with Jovial. You need to be comfortable talking to people in a general way. Strike up conversations with strangers as a way to interact and enjoy yourself more and don't look at it as a "pick up." The more you practice the easier it will become and the rest will just fall into place.

    I promise you that most girls (even the hot ones) are as concerned as you are about looking like an ass or not being able to maintain an amusing conversation. At the end of the day, what are the chances that you're REALLY going to make a fool of yourself? And even if you did, so what? You won't be any worse off than you are right now, right?

    Obviously you're able to talk to girls because you've mentioned that you have female friends - just talk to girls you're interested in like you do your friends. Just be yourself. We want to talk to guys who are fun and genuine.

    Good luck!
     
  9. BobLeeSwagger

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    I agree with the others that confidence takes time to develop. You just need a few times under your belt in which you were just yourself and a woman liked talking to you. Once you see how natural that can be, then it's a lot easier to imagine it working in the future. I know it seems hard to believe now, but based on what women seem to be telling you, it sounds like confidence is the missing piece for you.

    I know that the turning point for me was basically when I discovered that very few women will make the first overt move on you. (The few exceptions have been great though.) They're waiting for you to do it. And that means that unless you take the initiative, then you're not going to get anywhere. You have to make it happen.
     
  10. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    Ok, wow turn of events.

    Hung out with that gorgeous female at a party last night and she ended up coming home with me and we had a couple hours of fun :D.

    So worth the only 2 hours of sleep :p
     
  11. Jovial

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    Wow! Congratulations! Usually these types of threads end in the guy messing up once again. Maybe this will inspire some of the guys on here to get some action also.
     
  12. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    Thank you! Earlier that night my buddies girlfriends friends came over and we chatted it up all night. (all dime pieces btw) It was so nice just to be sit there and converse.

    I was contemplating asking the girl on a date and had it pretty set I was going to until her friend texted me and said get over here now! lol.

    It was neat because at first you could tell we were both a little nervous and then it just got super comfortable and things escalated from there. We ended up having a moment and kissing right in the middle of the whole party lol :p.

    Ah, I'm worn out, but its nice recapping all the crazy fun things we did last night :D
     
  13. Archangelvega

    Archangelvega New Member

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    Like my dad always said, "The worst she can do is say no."
     
  14. Jovial

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    Nice, it's always better to skip the formality of a date and get right to business. :wink:
     
  15. douchenbaggin

    douchenbaggin New Member

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    Lol, I'm saying and get right to business we did.

    Not to mention shes 2 years older than me ;)
     
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