Women's interest in sex and initiating it

[RawDog]

I'm pretty much permanently horny, and I can easily be convinced on the rare times I'm not. I've always been an initiator

Once again, you, dear lady, are the female equivalent of me.

I wish my woman was more like you girls. At times I feel women use sex as a piece of gator bait, then once youre hooked they give up on it. I treat her the same as before and most of my flirting is rejected. Only been going out for 3 1/2-4 months.

I may get flamed for saying this, but I'll go ahead and say it. Some women's libidos wane when they realize they've trapped you. If you're sure enough with yourself that you don't "need" the relationship and that they need you more than you need them, their libidos are high and mighty. Sadly, this is from experience.

The individual that has less to lose in the relationship often dictates it.

 

[fangirl]

i start it about 80% of the time. i would not say im aggressive, but im in a general stae of horny all day, just about every day. For me, the feeling is like a hot ache. i get tons of energy and focus. if im just a little hot, i'll usually try to initiate with little things like walking around the house naked and trying to get my hands in his pants. When im really horny, i pace. it takes the edge off.

 

[Intrigue]

the boy lives under a constant threat of sex muggings :biggrin:

he is so my bitch.

Wished that would work where I live! I pull that kinda crap and its a kick to the shins. I'm more like Oliver Twist holding out his empty bowl begging "please sir, may i have some more?".

(In her defense she's been wicked stressed with a new job so i refrain from kvetching much)

 

[Intrigue]

I'm pretty much permanently horny, and I can easily be convinced on the rare times I'm not. I've always been an initiator, except in the later part of the relationship with an ex. With him I eventually got tired of being rejected so I stopped initiating.

Yah, right now I'm sort of in the area where I've stopped trying to initiate. She has her reasons for her waning libido and I can't fault her. Doesn't change the fact that it can be hurtful and a but isolating. As a guy,or just as me, its hard not to have that physical contact constantly because to me, and maybe others, love is expressed through touching. I know there are other things that show love but for me its a very physical thing. I wonder if this is the case with all men and maybe that's why we don't always see eye to eye with the women and their libidos. Just thinking outloud really.

 

[molotovmuffin]

Once again, you, dear lady, are the female equivalent of me.



I may get flamed for saying this, but I'll go ahead and say it. Some women's libidos wane when they realize they've trapped you. If you're sure enough with yourself that you don't "need" the relationship and that they need you more than you need them, their libidos are high and mighty. Sadly, this is from experience.

The individual that has less to lose in the relationship often dictates it.

No flaming...just an agreement. Make them just a bit jealous or threaten their security and see what happens...:tongue:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I may get flamed for saying this, but I'll go ahead and say it. Some women's libidos wane when they realize they've trapped you.

And on the flip side I've heard anecdotal evidence from women saying that men stop being caring, attentive and romantic when they 'realize they've trapped you'.

I know one straight couple where she complained his libido went straight downhill once they were married. And I also know gay couples who have these issues - it's not just a man / woman dynamic.

If you're sure enough with yourself that you don't "need" the relationship and that they need you more than you need them, their libidos are high and mighty. Sadly, this is from experience.

The individual that has less to lose in the relationship often dictates it.

That's a sad outlook on relationships.

I know a while after we became parents my ex started feeling that I never initiated (I know because he told me so) - there were other problems in the relationship that had somewhat stifled my desire for him. I rarely turned him down but I recognise that I rarely sought him out. After he brought it up I made an effort for a while but got rejected so often (sometimes in favour of masturbation, bizarrely enough) that I went back to waiting for him to ask, intimate, whatever. No idea if he did that subconsciously or on purpose. He was a kind of 'an eye for eye' type of guy.

 

[Ramsey]

I know a while after we became parents my ex started feeling that I never initiated (I know because he told me so) - there were other problems in the relationship that had somewhat stifled my desire for him. I rarely turned him down but I recognise that I rarely sought him out. After he brought it up I made an effort for a while but got rejected so often (sometimes in favour of masturbation, bizarrely enough) that I went back to waiting for him to ask, intimate, whatever. No idea if he did that subconsciously or on purpose. He was a kind of 'an eye for eye' type of guy.

What sort of things stifled your interest?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

What sort of things stifled your interest?

The details are complicated and not something I'm willing to post here.

 

[Ramsey]

The details are complicated and not something I'm willing to post here.

Just curious if maybe Ive been doing them. PM if you're willing to share.

 

[xX_Sarah_Xx]

I'm curious how women's desire for sex works. With me it's like hunger, every few hours (or less) I crave sexual activity. Unless it's satisfied in some way (or unless I'm really busy or my partner has turned me off due to her uninterest or being snarky with me or whatever) the desire doesn't go away. It stays there, just like hunger. Is it the same for some of you ladies?

And regarding initiating sex, do some of you always make your man initiate sex? Or do you initiate it at least part of the time? How do you go about doing so if you do? I'm not just talking spontaneous "you're going to fuck me now" sex but planned out for later that day, week, whatever. Do you send him messages or tell him things that you want him to do or you want to do to him?

Hmmm... interesting question. It's very dependent on my cycle. When I'm fertile, I basically lose all focus and can't function properly. (Well I can if I really have to but my mind is just elsewhere.) I would pounce on him and tie him to the bed if I have to. Or I just enjoy some me-time.

Otherwise, it tends to depend on the guy in my life at that moment. The way he plays my mind has a big influence on my sex drive. Both in a romantic, caring way and in an I-want-you,NOW!-way.

When I'm in stressfull situations, my libido is skyrocking also. I think that's just some natural way to help me relax some.

I must admit I do like a guy taking the initiative. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't let him know I want him (in various and numerous creative ways ^^).

 

[OhWiseOne]

I read these posts and think...80/20 rule...80% bs....7 times a day get real....I know this is a site to talk and explore but lets be realistic..Many of you are young..been there done that..but no matter what you invision life will be it will take priority..not saying fun and sexual exploration ends but priorities change..just be real.
Don't take this as negative just always have a reality check.
BTW...its important that both parties have interest or it will be a hard road to travel.

Be good...have fun

 

[molotovmuffin]

I read these posts and think...80/20 rule...80% bs....7 times a day get real....I know this is a site to talk and explore but lets be realistic..Many of you are young..been there done that..but no matter what you invision life will be it will take priority..not saying fun and sexual exploration ends but priorities change..just be real.
Don't take this as negative just always have a reality check.
BTW...its important that both parties have interest or it will be a hard road to travel.

Be good...have fun

Dude? Where the hell does anyone say anything about 7 times a day? If I could live with a hard ridged cock in me and have it feel the way sex does...I would. :tongue:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Just curious if maybe Ive been doing them. PM if you're willing to share.

I'm not.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I'm always interested in sex unless I feel bad, then depending on how bad I feel I might still be interested. If I'm into the guy and I'm happy with him I'm going to initiate it.

If I'm unhappy with the him or the relantionship then I still want sex, just not with him. I don't mean unhappy as in, we just had a fight over something stupid... I mean really unhappy.

 

[honeydew]

In my marriage(past tense) I always initiated or there woulod have never been any sexual activity. I hope to find some guy who will intitiate for a change. I would love to be taken slowly and sensually for hours at a time. sigh.....

 

[molotovmuffin]

In my marriage(past tense) I always initiated or there woulod have never been any sexual activity. I hope to find some guy who will intitiate for a change. I would love to be taken slowly and sensually for hours at a time. sigh.....

Not to brag...OK..to brag...YeaY for me! I get that too!!!:biggrin1:

 

[Ramsey]

I love to initiate! I may not always do it with words, but my hands caressing every inch of my woman's body...

 

[LaFemme]

I know one straight couple where she complained his libido went straight downhill once they were married. And I also know gay couples who have these issues - it's not just a man / woman dynamic.

I've never been married, but I know that once I've been "caught" in a relationship, my partner's libido has dropped to almost nothing. I don't know if my own libido threatened him, or if he no longer felt the need to seduce me, but any seduction on my behalf was met with rejection. (Happened with 2 men) This inhibited me a quite a bit for a long time. Eventually, I realized I just need a man who loves sex and playing as much as I do. There's nothing wrong with being a sexual woman.

I read these posts and think...80/20 rule...80% bs....7 times a day get real....I know this is a site to talk and explore but lets be realistic..Many of you are young..been there done that..but no matter what you invision life will be it will take priority..not saying fun and sexual exploration ends but priorities change..just be real.
Don't take this as negative just always have a reality check.
BTW...its important that both parties have interest or it will be a hard road to travel.

Be good...have fun

Seven times a day???!!! Twice a day, maybe.... and I'm not young, lol. I have lots of priorities, it's just that sex is and my partner's relationship with me is one of them. For me, sex keeps me feeling youthful and desirable and in sync with the one I care about. Plus it IS good for my migraines!

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I'm initiating here....who wants to fuck? haha jk I can't recall when I've ever initiated....hmmm but then again my only options are johnny & leo...my dildos

 

[The Dragon]

7 times a day...damn straight..and then some!

Lost count of how many full week-ends spent in bed...completely immersed in each other.
Only ever surfaced to change the linens (which ended up in more sex)
Bathe(which end up in more sex).
Cat napped wrapped around each other (which ended in more sex)
And to get more water or more bottles of wine...(which...*grins* ended up in more sex)
Not a room, stick of furniture or rug remained un-humped upon..

Thank christ we both worked or we would have fucked each other to death.