Women's interest in sex and initiating it

[AlteredEgo]

I used to be equally aggressive an initiator as any man I was ever with. My husband does not generally respond positively to my advances, so I no longer make any. His advances suck, so I am not always able to respond positively. Consequently, we never have as much sex as I would like, and sometimes do not have as much sex as he would like. Lately, the issue has been school. I think his GPA is 3.8, and mine is 4.0. It is hard to be a good student, and make a living, and have an active sex life. The other day, I fell asleep in his arms, joking with him that I could smell horniness off both of us, but I doubted either of us had the energy to get on top of the other. I suggested he fuck me in the morning, but then I awoke alone.

 

[sexualnapalm]

Dragon, you are me hero. This is how I want to live my life.

7 times a day...damn straight..and then some!

Lost count of how many full week-ends spent in bed...completely immersed in each other.
Only ever surfaced to change the linens (which ended up in more sex)
Bathe(which end up in more sex).
Cat napped wrapped around each other (which ended in more sex)
And to get more water or more bottles of wine...(which...*grins* ended up in more sex)
Not a room, stick of furniture or rug remained un-humped upon..

Thank christ we both worked or we would have fucked each other to death.

 

[RawDog]

And on the flip side I've heard anecdotal evidence from women saying that men stop being caring, attentive and romantic when they 'realize they've trapped you'.

I know one straight couple where she complained his libido went straight downhill once they were married. And I also know gay couples who have these issues - it's not just a man / woman dynamic.

You may be right, I've just been on the receiving end (or rather the taken end) of the equation too many times.

That's a sad outlook on relationships.

I absolutely 100% agree with you. I want to be positive, I really do. I pray to the gods this time will be different. So far it is. This is the most amazing relationship I've been in mostly because she understands me. Once we get past the 10 year mark (that was my first wife and I), then I'll believe it.

Dude? Where the hell does anyone say anything about 7 times a day? If I could live with a hard ridged cock in me and have it feel the way sex does...I would. :tongue:

I'm working on exactly that project (I call it genital snuggling). It's been blowing my mind lately.

 

[D_Larry_Burpengary]

I used to be equally aggressive an initiator as any man I was ever with. My husband does not generally respond positively to my advances, so I no longer make any. His advances suck, so I am not always able to respond positively. Consequently, we never have as much sex as I would like, and sometimes do not have as much sex as he would like. Lately, the issue has been school. I think his GPA is 3.8, and mine is 4.0. It is hard to be a good student, and make a living, and have an active sex life. The other day, I fell asleep in his arms, joking with him that I could smell horniness off both of us, but I doubted either of us had the energy to get on top of the other. I suggested he fuck me in the morning, but then I awoke alone.

that is depressing and kinda nice at the same time lol...

 

[B_pussylover10]

I m very unlucky that i have not got wife like u girls. I m the man who wants all the time lay my cock inside pussy but wife is not agree. Not only that she have resistance to have once in 24hrs also. i m 41 & she is 36 in age. How to overcome this difference. very tough life

 

[B_angelvegas]

Nice topic. :smile:

 

[OhWiseOne]

I'm initiating here....who wants to fuck? haha jk I can't recall when I've ever initiated....hmmm but then again my only options are johnny & leo...my dildos

Speaking of toys, glad to see you have pet names, they are a great way to initiate sex and slowing bring the lady to her first orgasm. I have always been one that enjoys giving pleasure. It actually gets me more aroused with the lady not even having to provide my cock with any stimulation.

SprinkleMe, you can bring your toys over anytime.

 

[Gecko4lif]

*Takes notes*

continue

 

[kinda_hung]

Speaking of toys, glad to see you have pet names, they are a great way to initiate sex and slowing bring the lady to her first orgasm. I have always been one that enjoys giving pleasure. It actually gets me more aroused with the lady not even having to provide my cock with any stimulation.

SprinkleMe, you can bring your toys over anytime.

That's the way I am. I love playing with my woman's body. I may it may not be hard while playing with her. But I'm very turned on and my dick constantly drewling precum! It's awesome.

 

[kinda_hung]

7 times a day...damn straight..and then some!

Lost count of how many full week-ends spent in bed...completely immersed in each other.
Only ever surfaced to change the linens (which ended up in more sex)
Bathe(which end up in more sex).
Cat napped wrapped around each other (which ended in more sex)
And to get more water or more bottles of wine...(which...*grins* ended up in more sex)
Not a room, stick of furniture or rug remained un-humped upon..

Thank christ we both worked or we would have fucked each other to death.

Please send me your address. I will be wrapped in a bow at your doorstep and will have a package from Jared.

 

[helgaleena]

Just curious if maybe Ive been doing them. PM if you're willing to share.

I think it's time for you and the gf to sit down and discuss this. It's never the most easy thing to bring up, but differing levels of libido can really bother a relationship if you don't work out practical compromises.

 

[helgaleena]

I m very unlucky that i have not got wife like u girls. I m the man who wants all the time lay my cock inside pussy but wife is not agree. Not only that she have resistance to have once in 24hrs also. i m 41 & she is 36 in age. How to overcome this difference. very tough life

My ex had this level of sexual arousal and I did not mind one bit having sex once a day. However he was always wanting to have the exact same kind of sex every time, and always his way, never my way. It got old. The solution is to add variety and worship of her as yoni and also to talk to her about her own pleasure. Try to get her to orgasm first as often as you can, until her body is in the habit of hungering for you.

 

[Opalite]

I'm usually quite agressive or straight to the point when it comes to initiating sex. I'm very confortable talking about it, love to flirt and tease.. but also it is a bit about getting what I want when I want it. I never got the kind of girl that would whisper to her friend about how sexy some guy at the bar is; I've always been the type to go up to someone. Not that I'm super confident all the time (I don't think anyone really is), but more so just have horrible impulse controll. I think the same can be said when it comes to sex.


Though, I think one of the biggest turn off would be if I would have to be the initiator every single time. It can be super attractive when a man takes a bit more controle, and makes you feel desired or lusted after. If he would constantly wait for me to take initiative, I would lose my interest in a heartbeat. Sex is a two-person game.

 

[tallguybry]

"Though, I think one of the biggest turn off would be if I would have to be the initiator every single time." "Sex is a two-person game."

Amen Katt!

I was in a relationship where I was always the one initiating intimacy. After years of the same thing, I started to lose interest to the point where I didn't want intimacy anymore. And you are right, it is a two person game.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I may get flamed for saying this, but I'll go ahead and say it. Some women's libidos wane when they realize they've trapped you.

I don't think it's that conscious, but it does seem to happen that way awfully often. And it seems to happen more often with women than with men (although it does of course happen the other way around too).

Yah, right now I'm sort of in the area where I've stopped trying to initiate. She has her reasons for her waning libido and I can't fault her. Doesn't change the fact that it can be hurtful and a but isolating. As a guy,or just as me, its hard not to have that physical contact constantly because to me, and maybe others, love is expressed through touching. I know there are other things that show love but for me its a very physical thing. I wonder if this is the case with all men and maybe that's why we don't always see eye to eye with the women and their libidos. Just thinking outloud really.

Rejection totally sucks. When someone rejects me sexually, it feels like they are rejecting my entire being. It makes me feel like they don't LIKE me anymore, let alone love me. Logic tells me that that isn't really always the case, but it certainly feels that way.

I wish my woman was more like you girls. At times I feel women use sex as a piece of gator bait, then once youre hooked they give up on it. I treat her the same as before and most of my flirting is rejected. Only been going out for 3 1/2-4 months.

If it's that bad this early in the relationship, it's unlikely to improve. Can you live the rest of your life with things the way they are now? If not, my advice would be to get out now.

I absolutely 100% agree with you. I want to be positive, I really do. I pray to the gods this time will be different. So far it is. This is the most amazing relationship I've been in mostly because she understands me. Once we get past the 10 year mark (that was my first wife and I), then I'll believe it.

If the first five years are anything to go by, you guys are going to last. MrsR sounds (almost) perfect for you. And when you do come up against issues your chances of solving them are extremely high, because you're so very close and you're able to discuss things with each other.

And if all fails, Number Four is ready and waiting :biggrin1::tongue:.

 

[RawDog]

I don't think it's that conscious, but it does seem to happen that way awfully often. And it seems to happen more often with women than with men (although it does of course happen the other way around too).

I think the male equivalent of the "sex drive waning when the other one's trapped" is the lack of intimacy over time. I'm a great believer in sex being dissimilar from intimacy. Women use sex to get intimacy, men use intimacy to get sex.

If the first five years are anything to go by, you guys are going to last. MrsR sounds (almost) perfect for you. And when you do come up against issues your chances of solving them are extremely high, because you're so very close and you're able to discuss things with each other.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Our libidos are very different, but our problem solving habits and strategies are very much the same.

And if all fails, Number Four is ready and waiting :biggrin1::tongue:.

Duly noted. :smile:

 

[AlteredEgo]

that is depressing and kinda nice at the same time lol...

That's pretty much how I feel about it.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I think the male equivalent of the "sex drive waning when the other one's trapped" is the lack of intimacy over time. I'm a great believer in sex being dissimilar from intimacy. Women use sex to get intimacy, men use intimacy to get sex.

From what friends have said, there seems to be a lot of truth in this, although I'm guessing things may be a bit different for a lot of the women on LPSG.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Our libidos are very different, but our problem solving habits and strategies are very much the same.

And thus, I predict a naughty fairytale ending :smile::tongue:.

 

[Ramsey]

Too bad there isn't an "adjust sexual drive" control we can adjust on ourselves. Many times an otherwise idyllic relationship gets fucked-or not-right down the crapper because of the frustration of differing sex drives.

 

[helgaleena]

Too bad there isn't an "adjust sexual drive" control we can adjust on ourselves. Many times an otherwise idyllic relationship gets fucked-or not-right down the crapper because of the frustration of differing sex drives.

I'm sure you two can find a comfortable middle setting if you negotiate :tongue: Just don't beat around the bush, go long. :wink: